Sigh...5 year olds

[Jenny]

Well, I just got told my first "I hate you"
I didn't realize how much it hurts! I would of never said it to my parents if I did. Drake got smack on the bum and sent to his room for a time out for pushing Isis off the couch. And now he's screaming "I hate you" at me.

This make's me so sad I know, it goes the territory but it was totally unexpected. What do I do? should I give him crap for saying that or leave it and let him get over the tantrum?

 

[Emsy26]

Hun, I really don't know what to say, except I know it hurts...my 6 yr old says it to me when I shout at him and send him to his room, I just ignore him and let him throw the tantrum. Then when I do allow to come out of his room, i say 'Have you got something to say'
He'll apologise, and I take that apology for everything that he's done or said during the tantrum x

 

[Jenny]

Thanks hun

That's basically what I will be doing, he's finally done screaming so I'm sure he will be down in a few mins to say sorry. It was really painful though, it surprised me. Probably because it was the first time. Hopefully he won't always say it

 

[angela43]

Just like the rest of us, kids blurt out stuff when angry. I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[DizzyMoo]

Aww hun i remember this with josh , He's only 3 & he said his first of no doubt many " i hate you " lines few wks ago, I was totally stunned & speechless , I sent him to his room & told him that was a hurtful thing to say & that it had upset mummy. When i let him come down i made him apologise & i explained that saying it wasn't very nice & it upset mummy, he said sorry cuddled me for like an hour then said i dont hate you mummy i love you, i'm sorry for saying that word & then i cried again lol

Hun don't get angry but explain it upsets mummy & that it might make mummy cry.

 

[CeliaM]

Aww, my 5yr old said it to me as well for the 1st time recently when I told him he wasn't allowed to do something! I think my jaw dropped to the floor, and took my heart with it. I explained to him how much words hurt, and I think he got the point. But if it comes out of his mouth again, his wee bum is going to hurt. Mostly because it's so disrespectful, and while it's okay for him to be angry and tell me he is, it's never okay to show disrespect.

I actually chose not to let on how much it did hurt to hear that, as I know he actually doesn't mean it and I didn't want him to see it get a rise out of me. Plus he's really a sensitive kid, and if he ever did something to make me cry, I know he'd feel really horrible. He just needs to learn a more appropriate way to express himself.

Reminds me of something that happened months ago. I was giving him a kiss and hug goodnight, and he gave me a "squeeze hug", a little too hard around my neck. I told him that hurt, and jokingly said it would pop my head off. Then tucked him in. Over an hour later, he came into my room, "mommy, I'm sorry I almost popped your own head off. I really didn't mean too. Can I try again with a gentle hug?"

 

[Jenny]

Reminds me of something that happened months ago. I was giving him a kiss and hug goodnight, and he gave me a "squeeze hug", a little too hard around my neck. I told him that hurt, and jokingly said it would pop my head off. Then tucked him in. Over an hour later, he came into my room, "mommy, I'm sorry I almost popped your own head off. I really didn't mean too. Can I try again with a gentle hug?"

That's so sweet! I usually cry when they do sweet things like that

Thanks girls for the support! He did it again but I handled it a lot better. Guess it's a phase he's going through but he knows he get's a time out when he does say it so it hasn't been constant.

 

[CeliaM]

lol, I did cry!