*Sighs* Rant...

[Surreal]

Forgive me, feel the need to vent...

So, after five years of marriage to this douche bag, who liked to verbally and emotionally abuse me, I ended it and asked him to leave back in March. Due to being pregnant I haven't been able to afford to file for divorce, so just been in a situation of being separated for the past couple of months. He went into therapy and asked several times if I would take him back, and I've outright refused (If he was so serious before, why did he wait to get his damn councilling until *after* I wanted him out?), because he never took me serious before when I confronted him about his abusive behavior -- and I'm just done with it.

Thankfully the child I am pregnant with isn't his, that's a *whole* 'nother mess under my collar... but anyways, he finally was told by his therapist to file for divorce, and he has... took the guy who was trying to serve me *forever*, because the idiot didn't know how to follow simple directions and be at my work during the *time* I was working(More of my soon-to-be-ex's money down the drain -- haha!). So, anyways, finally got the serving papers today which I am glad for... when baby is born, I want to have the same last name as my baby, and I can only get that done through a divorce.

Well, I'm looking through the paperwork, *hoping* it's just a straight forward divorce and it can be over and done with -- oh hell no, not this f*cking loser that I married. He's listed *two* of his credit card bills that he's maxed out while being separated, totaling eight *hundred* dollars, that he wants *ME* to help him pay for. What!? They're in his name, and he only got them a month or two before we separated... despite me telling him I didn't *want* the stupid things. On top of that, he's trying to dump the last month of my phone bill on me, after he *cut it off* on me with no warning half-way through the month... and *gave it to another woman*!!

Thankfully for me, I have the e-mails that show the name change and password change of the phone into the other woman's name... so hopefully I can use that as evidence in my favor. But, it stinks because in the long run, I'm likely going to have to get a lawyer to defend me against these stupid things he wants me to pay, when they had little to do with me! All this on top of having pregnancy bills, and the tax bills that he f*cked up from last year, so we owe the government.

What in hell did I ever see in this man? What was I *possibly* thinking, when there was already suggested evidence of his abusive behavior when we were dating? The time I could've saved myself, if I had just had enough wisdom to know better, and that I wasn't so desperate at the time not to be alone... now being alone is *all* I want. (Except for baby. He's an exception to the rule.)

I'm just extremely frustrated with this, that he's dragging this out and trying to dump his expenses on me, when I wasn't even around for them... I just want this to be done and over with, so I and LO can move *on* with our lives... without him in it!

 

[Missy86]

Hope no one minds me forum hoping but just wanted to give you a

It took my ex over a year to file for divorce which will hopefully be finialised next week and I also wonder why I married someone who treated me like that

I just want it finished so I can get on with my life with Oh and Rhys
Rhys is Ohs btw

 

[LittleMadam]

Just wanted to wish you all the best with the divorce.

As for the credit cards, any chance you can break things down item by item and just pay for stuff that you wanted/kept?

xxx

 

[Surreal]

Just wanted to wish you all the best with the divorce.

As for the credit cards, any chance you can break things down item by item and just pay for stuff that you wanted/kept?

xxx

Problem is, I think the only thing I ever bought on those cards... was like a candy bar, and that's it. Anything else that was bought on them, was of his accord. I also have no access to the accounts and what was billed to them, as the accounts are under his name, not mine.

I'm hoping because they're under just his name, and he got them a month or two before we separated, that the judge will look at that and laugh at my ex.

 

[billy2mm]

my ex is doing that with me too - he got 3 credit cards and the only time i used them was when he was with me with his permission and on stuff for the family!! he was buying cola and burgers and shite basically!! oh and he is trying to pin a 15 grand loan on me too even though i never signed anything for it and didnt know about it till it had gone into our bank account!

dont worry hun - they are in his name and it can be proven who's card was used to buy what items and there will be dates on the bills too showing he was buying the stuff after the official date of separation.

its slightly different in scotland though - we have to do a Minute of Agreement before we can divorce (well we dont have to but it makes the divorce proceedings easier and faster and saves the judge havng to get pissed off looking through 6 years of paperwork!) saying who gets what etc... also i cant divorce him until 12 months after the separation IF he agrees to it and if not then i have to wait 2 years to do it. in england its 2 years with agreement and 5 years without!