Single dad looking for advice

[numetheus]

Hello. I am a divorced father of two boys living in Arizona. I have joint custody with my ex with the papers stating that the children would be with me 100% of the time. They are with their mom only 1 1/2 days every two weeks. Currently, I pay 100% of everything for the children and have been asking her for necessities like clothes, which I think is fair. Her response has been that she has bought them clothes in the past, but has holes in them after a month, so she feels that her money is being wasted so she doesn't do that any more. My boys are boys and get holes in their jeans from wear of play! Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has any advice? Someone has suggested to go for child support, but I'm afraid that will turn into a custody battle and I don't want to lose my children. I have cared for them for over 5 years. What can I do?

 

[Flipsy]

she has to pay child support same as if the kids were with her full time you would. Sounds like she hasnt got a clue what children are like. go for child support, would she let you get away with not paying if this was the other way round??

 

[BlaireUK]

It sounds to me like there is a need to formalise the arrangements. Going for child support might help achieve this rather than result in a custody battle. You say you have had the children for the last 5 years full-time and the contact arrangement with their mother works then I can't see any reason why you would lose this - your children are happy, health and in a stable environment. You have every right to request financial support from your children's mother and she has a duty to help support them. Good luck!

 

[chels24uk]

go for child support! How dare she say she wont buy clothes anymore because they get holes in them? My son is constantly getting holes in his clothes and ruins them... its called being a child! Sounds like shes just trying to get out of paying you money. If you cant get her to come to a mutual agreement, then I would defo go for child support. I wouldnt worry about a custody battle, your kids are happy and healthy, i dont see why courts would change your current agreement. If it did turn into a custody battle, itd clearly be out of spite from the mother. Rules are no different for fathers with care than they are for mothers with care good luck x

 

[billy2mm]

mothers/fathers with no contact have to pay for their kids so why should she be any different?!?

you wont lost the kids - you have a custody agreement already do you? she has a responsibility to pay for her childrens uokeep! go for child support!

 

[Surreal]

Ditto on what others have said. If she refuses to take personal responsibility, let the government do it for her. She has no right to deny you money for your children, no matter her opinion -- if she can bring them into the world, she can take responsibility for them. Period.

 

[littlekitten8]

Agree with what the others have said. Just because she sees them doesn't mean she doesn't have to pay child support.