Single. It has its highs.... and lows

[pinkish_angel]

I split up with my daughters dad in april this year (My lil girl was 2 at the time). we have not been getting on for years.. not since I found out he was cheating on me when I was pregnant (and had been for 6 months). I am sooo much happier without 'him' but I am so so lonely without 'someone'. He has moved on and is now living with his new girlfriend and although I am not jealous of 'her', I am sorta jealous that he has moved on and I am still single. I mean.. after all, I ended it. He begged me to try but in the end I slept with someone else and told him.. sorta just so there was no way back. I do love being single in the sense that I am now free to do as I please without having to answer to him etc.. but I dunno. Guess I just feel like I have drawn the short straw cuz I am either working, or stuck at home with amelia. He is always out going for meals, concerts and shoppin trips with his new girlfriend. He sees amelia twice a week for 3 hours a day (his choice). I have asked on several occasions if he can take her for the night so I can maybe go out or even to give my parents a break from babysitting duties once in a while whilst I am at work but no. He says he wont or cant cuz he is working (when I know very well he isnt). I know its his loss at the end of the day cuz he is missing out on time with amelia but thats not the point. He used to pay all the bills and my mortgage and I ended it knowing full well that I would have to pay it all myself. Everyone I ever like doesnt wanna know. Thats how it seems anyway. I just want a hug... somene to love me! Cuz amelia's dad clearly never did or he wouldnt have cheated. Thats partly why I ended it with him. I aint getting any younger and I want to be with someone that does love me for me. No point plodding on with no love in the relationship. I see on the tv the love in peoples eyes (sad comment I know), like hollyoaks with mercedes and mal and I think 'have I ever actually had that... hmmmm nope I dont think I have'. Its been either them liking me more or me liking them more, never us both being proper in love. Im jus havin a shite day I suppose. Lonely.

 

[missjacey44]

Hey.. I know exactly how you feel. Id been with my babies father for 4years but he was cheating on me the whole time i was pregnant with my best friend and got her pregnant, i decided to do the hardest thing in my life and try and forgive him for babies sake but one week after baby was born he attacked me for noreason and he was arrested. He is now saying he doesnt want to know me or ever see me or baby again.. and i am so mad that he has left me in this situation after everything HE did and now hes happy going clubbing with friends and seeing girls ect. And i feel exactly the same as you.. I dont want 'him' but i want somebody..i am very lonely and dont even have much family support.. or friends because of what he did with my 'best friend'. But i dont think its even the right time for me to find somebody else, If i can even bring myself to trust another man but i really would just like somebody to love me, be there for me and give me a hug once in a while!

 

[pinkish_angel]

Hey.. I know exactly how you feel. Id been with my babies father for 4years but he was cheating on me the whole time i was pregnant with my best friend and got her pregnant, i decided to do the hardest thing in my life and try and forgive him for babies sake but one week after baby was born he attacked me for noreason and he was arrested. He is now saying he doesnt want to know me or ever see me or baby again.. and i am so mad that he has left me in this situation after everything HE did and now hes happy going clubbing with friends and seeing girls ect. And i feel exactly the same as you.. I dont want 'him' but i want somebody..i am very lonely and dont even have much family support.. or friends because of what he did with my 'best friend'. But i dont think its even the right time for me to find somebody else, If i can even bring myself to trust another man but i really would just like somebody to love me, be there for me and give me a hug once in a while!

aw hunni. men are pigs. I actually found out my ex was cheating b4 I was pregnant and I gave him another chance cuz he said it was nothing (even tho I read the texts so I knew it was). He then proceeded to get me pregnant.. then 6 months down the line I found out he had never actually stopped seeing this other girl. So why get me preg?! I only found out because she rang me and said 'I have just seen ur texts on my boyfriends phone.. who are u?'. She didnt even know he was cheating on her too. Turned out that she was texting me from my flat (I had gone away to visit my parents for the week) and she was lying in my bed texting me askin who I was?! I found out he had asked her to come off the pill and they were engaged. We actually met up and arranged to meet him in town.. confronted him together. Even after all this tho and I took him back, for the sake of my baby. I was scared to be alone with a child. I dont think u ever trust again after something like what we have been through hun. I find it hard to find a man maybe cuz I am always askin questions.. coming across as if I am paranoid etc. I should never have taken my ex back in the first place. and you... you are way better than him. You and ur little baby deserve so much better. If you did get back with him I feel you would be like me... a few years down the line you would regret it. The trust is gone. Its very hard to regain it after being hurt in this way. Especially when you have wasted so much of your life with them like us (4/5 years). Your always thinking the worst of them. Usually for the right reason tho. Once a cheat always a cheat, given half the chance. Your ex will be the one to regret it. Missing out on the little one growing up. There is no worse feeling than feeling lonely tho. I cry most nights when I am lying alone in bed. people say 'dont look and he will turn up' (mr right that is). I'm sick of waiting though.

 

[missjacey44]

Its funny how quickly my love for him turned to hate. I cant believe anyone would do what mine and your ex would do espescially when there are babies involved, Its heartless. Im only young and my baby is only 5weeks and my ex only been gone 4weeks and already im so lonely so i cant imagine how you feel, Its worse at night isnt it? I hate cooking for myself and eating it alone. I have to sleep with the tv on some nights because i feel worse in the silence and dark! I dont know whether its just because im so used to having 'him' here and iv never actually lived alone before and maybe for me it will get better in time but who knows. I dont want to feel like i 'need' a man in my life... but it would be nice to have that love and be loved back for once.

 

[sparkswillfly]

It bought a tear to my eye reading that. You ladies are so strong. Its disgusting how these men get away with treating women so badly. They dont deserve to live their lives how they please. They are scum bags. I was thinking the other day that single dads are seen as heros/saints and single mums seem to be looked down on, why on earth is that? I admire you all, I dont know how you do it.

 

[pinkish_angel]

Its funny how quickly my love for him turned to hate. I cant believe anyone would do what mine and your ex would do espescially when there are babies involved, Its heartless. Im only young and my baby is only 5weeks and my ex only been gone 4weeks and already im so lonely so i cant imagine how you feel, Its worse at night isnt it? I hate cooking for myself and eating it alone. I have to sleep with the tv on some nights because i feel worse in the silence and dark! I dont know whether its just because im so used to having 'him' here and iv never actually lived alone before and maybe for me it will get better in time but who knows. I dont want to feel like i 'need' a man in my life... but it would be nice to have that love and be loved back for once.

I feel for you hun.. I remember how emotional I was in the first few months of having my baby. You have coped with so much lately.. you have proved already how strong you are. Its amazing what you can get through tho, if you have to. And in the long run you will see you are better without him. Although I am lonely, I would rather be feeling this way than be taken for a fool by my ex (or someone else like him). I feel like walkin around with a sign saying 'loosers need not apply' lol. Guys act like they like me (one in particular) and then I dont hear from him for weeks and I jus see his status on facebook hinting at his 'active social life' with other girls. Makes me wonder why I even bother liking anyone. I dont need the hassle. I too just want someone to love me and not mess me about for once. Im 28.. not getting any younger. Most my friends are married or settled. I feel like I am stuck on the shelf and always will be. How old are you? Younger than me by a mile so dont worry.. patronising as I am gonna sound, you have plenty of time to find someone who will treat you and your baby right. You are right about the worst time being at night.. when amelia is asleep and the house is all quiet. I feel like a bad mom in some respects cuz I dont even bother cooking decent meals for me and my girl. I think 'whats the point' cooking for just us 2 so I either make her something and I have something else later or I order a take away. And its not like Im rolling in money. I need to stop buying them and start to be responsible (lol im going off the subject now).. another thing thats pissing me off lately is when my ex comes round to take amelia out he has a neck full of love bites. I hate the things (lol) but even that makes me feel shit about myself. Its like him rubbing in what a great sex life he has and I am alone, not getting any . Our time will come I hope. Its just a waiting game. I have never been one for patience tho.

 

[pinkish_angel]

I know a lot are worse off than myself. At least I have my home and my family around me. Its hard work tho.. I just want that fairy tale relationship that I see others in... even for jus someone that I really like to really like me back . I feel awful moaning bout my problems. I wrote a post last week bout how my problems are insignificant compared (my cousin died of cancer last sunday). I wondered how long they would take to arrise. anyway, enough of me moaning on for one night. If you ever wanna talk missjacey you know where I am babe xx and if we cant be happy, at least we can be lonely together lol xxx

 

[brownhairedmom]

You girls are taking the words out of my mouth. I am so over my ex (he cheated on me too when I was pregnant and with other girls before, and is now still with that girl), but I do miss being with someone. There are just no prospects here. All the guys I know are in my old city which is way too far away.

I'm lucky in the way that I have my family so I'm not totally lonely. I have a great group of friends too that involve me in everything. I miss having someone to talk to and go to bed with, but at the same time...I get the whole bed to myself I like being single in some ways. My relationship was filled with jealousy and possessivness and mind games and I could care less about being with another person like that so I tend to be less interested in finding a new boyfriend than I might be if the situation had been different. I worry about finding someone, but it is more about the future. I want someone so that I can have a family, but as for in this very moment I am fine with being single.

 

[ryder]

wow... you ladies have def been through alot!

 

[nikky0907]

Reading this really gets me seeing what pigs exist in this world.
I was lucky in the sense that Lola's dad is a good guy but I still know what you mean...I have a good support system in my friends and generaly I can't say I'm lonely but I do know some of what you're trying to say....
It'd be nice to have someone who is right there for me at all times.Although living together (me and Lola live alone) can put a lot of stress on you.
It's not always a picnic and this way I get the remote,bed,coffee and muffins all to myself

 

[AppleBlossom]

Aww hun I'm not single but I might as well be. I understand what you mean about seeing people "in love" on the tv, I cried when I watched mercedes and mal get married because I wished I had something like that. I used to have someone like that but he's completely changed and it's really upsetting. I hope you find someone better than that cheating pig soon x

 

[pinkish_angel]

Aww hun I'm not single but I might as well be. I understand what you mean about seeing people "in love" on the tv, I cried when I watched mercedes and mal get married because I wished I had something like that. I used to have someone like that but he's completely changed and it's really upsetting. I hope you find someone better than that cheating pig soon x

I know its only tv but it is upsetting.. All relationships have their problems but just to feel that 'love' for someone, and to be able to see it back in their eyes is just so romantic. So want it now.. for xmas lol.. I dont wanna be lonely through christmas and new year but its obvious I am gonna be. Unless I can find someone and fall in love in 3 weeks lol . I know its gonna take time! Suppose you cant miss what you have never had. Must be hard when you had it.. and now its gone/not the same, even though you really want it to be. take care hun xxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

you too xx

 

[teresarobbins]

Join the club! I've been single 4 yrs. and it ain't fun. My ex remarried this year and I cried cause I was jealous. How sad is that? But, he's been through 3 women since we split and I've had one boyfriend. I'd rather be alone for awhile then with the wrong one again! It will come for you in time if you wait it out.