Single moms and sleep regression?

[ToughhGal]

Hello ladies

I have been basically single for a few months now. I have one child. A little girl named Priscilla, almost four months. Her father has mental issues that I could not deal with anymore. I told him numerous of times to find help. Every few days he would explode on me. Making up a false guy in his head whom I have been cheating with, breaking my property, putting holes in walls, grabbing me violently while I was pregnant, etc. He cannot be happy for more than a few days before he turns evil and/or shuts down. Recently, he was a suspect in multiple robberies because he associates with major drug users. I honestly don't feel comfortable with him around our daughter and I find being a single mother less stressful. Indeed, have no time at all in tough, but I am making it.

Anyway, enough with the intro. Has any been single with no help while caring for a baby who refuses to sleep? She does not sleep for more than an hour at a time. She wakes up consistently through the night crying. I'm not sure if this is teething and/or a sleep regression but I am most certainly exhausted.

 

[Beanonorder]

I'm sorry for what you've been through but glad your situation is getting better.

My dd is older but she was really affected by our separation and her sleep really suffered. And of course being pregnant at the same time I'm just exhausted. Her sleep has gotten a little better so I'm grateful for that.
As for your situation, a lot of babies do go through sleep regression at around 4 months. Its on of the major growth spurts. I can't offer any advice but I do hope it improves for you.

 

[Dezireey]

I would just eliminate all problems first e.g being fed enough, is she warm etc. My boy was so cranky at about three months and slept very little. Found out he had colic,so changed bottles and it fixed him. Poor little mite probably had tummy pains and couldn't sleep.

My ex definitely has mental health problems too and I am glad he is gone and not in our lives. He would make my boy miserable with his destructive negativity and morbid outlook on life. It can drag you down. You are doing the right thing,keep strong. Xx

 

[ToughhGal]

He is getting a lawyer and trying to get as much custody as he can. He called me a slew of horrid names then told me he was going to take my daughter and teach her my "ways" so she doesn't end up like me. I am so sad and lost about everything happening but I need to protect my precious girl.

 

[Beanonorder]

I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
Unless you have something in your history that prevents you from being a suitable mom it is highly unlikely the courts will ever take a child away from the mom.
Unfortunately it won't be easy to stop fob getting at least some visitation rights. But he will also have to start paying maintenance (if he isn't already). If he defaults on payments you have the right to stop visits.
Do you have any proof of his mental state?
Also make a note of anything he says or does, like him calling you names and threatening you. These things need to be brought up. Hopefully if he is granted visitation rights they will at least be supervised.
This is a long process so just take it one day at a time.

 

[ToughhGal]

I have at least four voice-mails (saved!) of him calling me a bitch, whore, slut, liar, skank, ugly, fat, telling me he hopes me and my family dies, etc. Sorry for all the curse words! Also have a voice-mail of him saying I can basically try to hide all I want but he has my address so he suggests I woman up and answer the phone. He has a criminal history with drugs and may still be a suspect in the robberies mentioned earlier. I also have a phone he broke from a year or so ago though I'll never be able to prove that was him. He kicked my TV and it put a hole in the wall behind it because I was listening to a popular male singer who is of a race he doesn't like. So pathetic but true. He also made a fake fb I believe two times of fake men trying to get me to be this supposed "whore".

 

[baileybubs]

Hi there, I am sorry for your situation hun, it sounds very hard.

I split with my ex when my son was a few weeks old and he was a terrible sleeper too. Where does your dd sleep? Its not always the ideal choice for everyone but I ended up cosleeping with my son seen as it was only me in the bed. I am a light sleeper and knew I wouldnt roll onto him etc, so I put my bed against the wall and had him on that side with the duvet away from him. It meant that I could just reach over and pat him or put my hand on him to calm him when he woke, or just give him his dummy back with minimal effort from me!
As he got older I bought a cot that had a mattress level that was the same height as my bed and had it next to my ned wth one side removed so it was almost as if he were in my bed but wasnt quite so he was getting used to his own sleeping space. It has taken me until the last couple of weeks to get him settled in his own room in his cot but now he pretty much sleeps through and I just have to go in once or twice a night if he wakes to give him his dummy and thats it.
At one stage I thought it would never get better, he was waking constantly and I felt exhausted doing all of it alone, but it will get easier I promise. And just being able to stay laid still and reach over to comfort him made that much difference to my own rest and sleep so it might be worth a try if you feel comfortable with it.

 

[baileybubs]

Oh and like dezireey's LO my ds also had colic so I had him on cow and gate comfort milk to see if that helped and it did. He then had more sleep issues when I started weaning as I think he just has a sensitive digestive system but the comfort milk or using colief might be worth a shot (colief is very expensive though and does the same to normal milk as what the comfort milk is).