Single mum to be with an awful ex

[bumpin'_jack]

First of all I'd like to say hi to you all in advance and congratulations on your pregnancy/babies!!
To introduce myself. I was with my ex for 2 years. It was never an easy relationship with many highs and lows. It took me quite a whil to realise his behaviour was really wrong towards me and was mentally abusive and controlling. Very jealous and possessive. We split up which resulted in me moving back to live with my mum. Then BANG I find out I'm pregnant. I decided that I would give my ex another chance to prove he was changing, but still live at home. He was not willing to accept this and told me if I did not move back with him within a week he would disown me and the baby. Obviously I didn't go back but what followed was a barrage of abusive texts, and I mean they were coming through at a rate of on average 20 a day. In the end I had to phone the police get them to tell him to leave me alone.

Now I know that I have defo not heard the last of him and he will not leave me alone. Although my family are very supportive it does feel hard to know that ultimately I will be doing this on my own. Most days I feel strong and am ready to cope with this.

But I still get fears about what my ex will do in the future. I'm also scared about money and being alone for the rest of my life (which I know I won't be deep down).

Anyone who wants a chat, share experiences or offer some much needed advice will be very much welcome!!

Thanks guys xx

 

[dreams]

I didn't want to read and run.

I have tremendous respect for you and i recognise the strength it must have taken to not go back.

Remember that how ever hard it will be being a single mother it will be 100 times harder having to deal with him abusive towards you and maybe eventually the baby.

I'm scared too of being alone forever to be honest. I never imagined myself in this situation but i know deep down i've done the right thing by doing this on my own.

I'm glad you have a supportive family though, its good to hear

Take care of yourself xx

 

[xarlenex]

First of congrats! your bringing a beautiful life into the world, who is much better off without a father like that. It must have been so difficult to actually get out of it
I would guess you would have days where your terribly scared, but the minute you hold your baby in your arms you will know the fears n the tears have been worth it all

Welcome to BnB btw!

 

[bumpin'_jack]

Thanks for your comments. It means a lot to hear supportive comments like this. And yes, although it is hard not to have a partner to share this amazing time with I know deep down that I'm much better off alone.
I have just had all my blood test results back today and the downs screening test and they all came back fine. So one hurdle over with and I'm now looking forward to my 20 week scan next week! YYAAYYY!
xx

 

[soliloquise]

i too am going to be a single parent and am also in wales if you want a buddy ( although i am down south ).. you are brave and strong and will be just fine

 

[teresarobbins]

Just wanted to respond to your thoughts. I've been a single mom for 4 1/2 yrs. and can tell you from experience there will always be good and bad days. I had to move in with my parents (at 40!) and it's awful and great. Great because I always have help, awful cause we never have private "family" time. Start traditions with your little one. Always see yourself as your own little family but always be willing to accept help from those you trust with your child.

I started out with nothing and now am being a Mom and starting two businesses. It will get better, I promise. Confidence will come in time too. Respect yourself and make others respect you...you are NOT less because you're alone. You are MORE because you're brave and responsible. Best of luck!

Teresa

 

[navarababe]

didnt wanna read and run, i went through the same thing as u. Me and my partner were together 4yrs, he lived in middle of no where, i couldnt drive, he could, he would go out all the time during the day and leave me in the house so i sat in house all day and sat on the computer. I found out i was pregnant and he said to me "i think its better if you left" thats when i knew excactly i could walk away, but im proud of u, cause you have the strength to walk away, which is something im struggling with. You may be alone, BUT once your little baby is in your arms, thats the most love you will EVER get. Take care of urself and if u ever wanna talk then feel free to pm me xx

 

[kayjor04]

i've been a single mom now for 5 months... i too had an awful guy in my life... Really Great guy until we found out about the pregnancy... then he softened up... then when she was 2 weeks old.. he freaked out, asking for paternity tests, swearing he was going to take her from me... the works..
but i got up, and walked away. i was living with my mom, but i just needed my own space, so i got my own place, and even though its tight.. we're doing just fine, he hasnt seen her, or contacted us since i told him i was through.
I'm new on this site.. but it already seems the ladies on here are very supportive...
your going to be just fine, and props to you for walking away from that situation, takes alot of strength.