Single Mummy Pen Pal?

[Ceejay123]

I've posted a very similar thread in the 'Assisted Conception' part of this forum, but wondered if any of you ladies could also help.

I'm posting on behalf of my sister as she doesn't use this site but knows I do. She's recently been told that her egg count is extremely low, and that one of her only chances to have her own child would be to start IVF with donor sperm now. She's single, but has been told that it would be very dangerous to wait, and that she may have to end up using an egg donor if she waits even a few years, so it'd mean she'd never get the chance to have her own child .

She's 24 now, was told a few months ago aged 23 that this was her main chance to ever have a child and that it still may not stick due to fertility problems. Are there any single Mummies out there that would consider emailing her from time to time about the joys of single-Mummy-hood? She's feeling very frightened about the whole process and could do with someone that could relate. It would be very helpful if someone could talk to her that's been through pregnancy as a single woman too, as she's having to do all of this alone with only my Dad for support really (She lives with him nowhere near me, although i'll be attending all of her appointments with her) . She'll never have a FOB involved as she's going to be using donor sperm.

Thanks ladies. xx

 

[daneuse27]

Have you found anyone yet? You can give her my contact info if you want.
I have FOB involved however, I know a few single mums who went the donor route on their own, have children now and they seem to LOVE single mummyhood.
I hope your sister does too.

 

[Ceejay123]

I haven't found anyone actually would be great if I could pass on your details! Just want to make sure she has a decent support system behind her before going into this. She has friends with kids, but they're all in couples sadly, and she'll be living 3 1/2 hours away from them. X

 

[ravenmel]

Sometimes I wish I'd used a donor less headache lol

I'm a single mummy to two under 3s and was single from 5 weeks pregnant with my second. It's not as bad as people would think, especially in this day and age.

Being a single mum through this route is a lot more positive in my eyes, as you don't have to deal with a break up and other people(i.e ex and his family) you can just enjoy your baby.

If I had to choose between having kids or waiting to meet a maybe husband and possibly never having children I choose children every time.

I try to be the glass is always half full and positive so if she wants a single mum buddy feel free to message me xoxo

 

[daneuse27]

Very true ravenmel. I agree that its not as 'bad' as many seem to believe. Granted, I currently live with my mom - once I'm moved out and its just me and my daughter, I'm sure a lot of things will be more challenging but some may be easier too!

I'm definitely glad I had my daughter, regardless of the circumstances. Being single has presented certain challenges with it, but in many ways being single has been a 'perk' too, imo. So I would definitely recommend your sister go for it if this is what she wants I'd recommend motherhood (single, or otherwise) to anyone who wants to raise children.

 

[Dezireey]

If I had to choose between having kids or waiting to meet a maybe husband and possibly never having children I choose children every time.

This is what helps me move forward. I am 40 this year, got told since the age of 22 that I couldn't have kids because of bad endometriosis, fibroids etc. Got into my thirties and the pain of this reality hit me harder than any break-up or not being married or meeting the right man ever could. I may have gone through sheer hell with my ex and been treated like dirt by him but I have a miracle accident baby and I would go through all that hurt again just to have my boy. I wish that I had just gone down the sperm donor route and not relied on Doctors to dictate my future. Very tempted on occasions to tell my son when he is older that I went to a sperm bank but I know that I can't do that.

And I agree, being a single mum is not as rock hard, totally exhausting and poverty stricken as 'society' likes to make you believe. Its a bit of a myth and it all depends on the individual (how they cope with anything challenging in life and how motivated they are) If you are strong willed, determined, willing to do the best for your child and work a bit harder than you normally would, then it is all possible to lead a great life as a single mum.

 

[Ceejay123]

Thanks guys. I've been staying with her for a week, and shes been in tears every single day. She's so desperate for it. She doesn't need a FOB in my opinion, she has us all backing her. I'm going to be the surrogate father I guess... Birthing classes, midwife appointments, taking her for her IVF, birth partner. She won't be alone. I have a 15 month old, so I guess he's gaining another sibling more or less! My OH has been very supportive to her too, and will be there for a male role as he loves her like she were his sister. x

 

[bee1724]

im 21 with a 6 month old baby newly single mother would like someone to talk to as well