sitting on a secret...

[carolyn_s]

I know something about FOB that nobody else knows....

He has hurt me in so many ways possible i wouldnt know where to start telling you....

Its not my place now but ive been sitting on this secret since we broke up (over 4months now) and dont know what to do. I think he needs professional help...im considering telling his mum?! At the end of the day i have nothing left to lose now...

Dont know what to do... he's told a LOT of lies in his time but i have proof this is true... I think its the root of his problems... my baby needs a stable dad... maybe its time he gets help....

 

[scottishgal89]

That doesn't sound good
I would tell his Mum or a professional who can help him.
For the benefit of your kids and him.
xx

 

[carolyn_s]

im worried as his mum is too close she wont believe it... evidence or not.

what kind of professional would you tell?? I honestly think it has left him with serious problems...i think he is depressed at the very least xx

 

[scottishgal89]

It's hard to give advice if don't know the problem.
If he has depression can you not discuss it with a doctor?
xx

 

[carolyn_s]

...but then i end up looking like the spiteful, bitter ex girlfriend xx

 

[scottishgal89]

Or a Mum who is concerned about her daughter's father's health?! xx

 

[purpledahlia]

missy get on msn nooowwww!! xx

 

[carolyn_s]

Or a Mum who is concerned about her daughter's father's health?! xx

nah its all too bitter...x

 

[scottishgal89]

Orite, well obv I don't know what it is so can't really comment on that. Just do what you feel is right.
Does he see your LO? xx

 

[carolyn_s]

he has been coming round to mine once a week for a couple of hours.
No matter what has happened in the past he would never do anything to harm her, if anything it would make it more protective of her xxx

 

[scottishgal89]

As long as your not concerned. Do you know any of his friends?
Maybe you could have a chat with one of them? xx

 

[Abigailly]

Honestly, if its what I think it is, a psychologist. Not his mum, he may feel betrayed and there will be a reason his mum doessn't know said secret. Also, men find it very difficult to talk to mums do they not? (My OH is very much a Mummy's boy!!)

 

[carolyn_s]

As long as your not concerned. Do you know any of his friends?
Maybe you could have a chat with one of them? xx

Not well enough to be honest

Honestly, if its what I think it is, a psychologist. Not his mum, he may feel betrayed and there will be a reason his mum doessn't know said secret. Also, men find it very difficult to talk to mums do they not? (My OH is very much a Mummy's boy!!)

I think we are on the same page here...just worried if i go to someone like that he will lose it completely and ile be the one that gets the brunt of it! xx

 

[billy2mm]

As long as your not concerned. Do you know any of his friends?
Maybe you could have a chat with one of them? xx

Not well enough to be honest

Honestly, if its what I think it is, a psychologist. Not his mum, he may feel betrayed and there will be a reason his mum doessn't know said secret. Also, men find it very difficult to talk to mums do they not? (My OH is very much a Mummy's boy!!)

I think we are on the same page here...just worried if i go to someone like that he will lose it completely and ile be the one that gets the brunt of it! xx

and he is the kinda person to do that. he would probably think yoiu are trying to take ailah away from him cant do right for doing wrong. we shall discuss further this afternoon

 

[carolyn_s]

FOB came round last night...unnanounced which annoyed me in the first place...he said he text but i never got it.
Abby was in bed but he got Ailah ready for bed and fed her etc. We ended up having quite an in depth convo about it...i tried to give him the 'evidence' back but he said it wasnt part of his life anymore and to chuck it in the bin... I wont.

Anyway his friend/boss (who ive come quite close to the last few week ) came round after FOB left and i ended up spilling EVERYTHING!! and i mean everything... in hindsight im not sure it was a good idea but i got so upset i needed to get it out

At least said friend is impartial and on neither 'side' so to speak! He had to leave as by the time i got it all out it was really late... He has said he will come back tonight or 2moro night and we will figure something out.

Ive never seen a guy with such a faced...dont think he expected the half of it. Like i said as he is a mutual friend he wont judge me or OH...

not sure where to go from here though... i feel drained this morning and reeeeally tired! xx

 

[scottishgal89]

Try not to stress hun.
Glad you got it all off your chest if it is a big burden to carry.
And now you have someone to discuss it with who knows him on a level too.
I was thinking down the lines of psychiatrist too but I thought you had to go threw a doctor to get a referral to there?!
I think that should be your first stop, they can then discuss it with him.
Not sure why he turned up unannounced but glad you had a good chat although he sounds like he's in denial or something?!
xx

 

[purpledahlia]

babe ill speak to you about this next time ur online or when your down in a few weeks, I have some ideas xx