Sleep issues, 6 yr old

[pumpkin007]

Hi there, wondered if anyone can help with issues we are having with our 6yr old atm. She is a very anxious little girl and has always had us sitting on top of stairs til she falls asleep but has gone to bed quickly without fuss. All of a sudden she is frightened of going to bed. We have recently come back from holiday and we allowed her to stay in our bed a couple of nights to get over jetlag, however 2 weeks later we are struggling to get her to sleep in her bed, at first i was a little sceptical and thought she was trying it on, however she does look really scared, I have asked her about it but she ust keeps saying i cant close my eyes u will leave me she is taking 2 hours or more to settle (she is highly spirited and does not give in easy). i have put a light on in her room and have lay with her but she just wont go off, we have given in and took her into our room and she then goes straight off ! im torn in thinking she is having us on or genuinly scared, just need some advice on how to deal with it x

 

[RachA]

I'm not sure i really have any advice as my oldest child isn't an anxious child so we may well deal with things differently.

Changes in routines can really affect children and going on holiday may of been the cause of it for your little girl. If it was our son then i would insist that he goes to sleep in his own room. But as i said, he isn't an anxious child so if he didn't want to go to sleep bed because he was scared etc i really would know there was something the matter.

She is of an age where you should be able to get her to open up a bit more about why she wants you there. It may well be that she is having nightmares but if she was i would guess that she would wake up in the night also and want you there.
If she is only doing this when she goes to bed at night then i would go with the idea that she is really trying it on as if it was nightmares then she would also wake in the night and call you in etc.

Have you asked if everything is ok at school etc?

 

[pumpkin007]

Hi there, on the odd occasion we manage to get her off to sleep in her own bed she does wake in the night and makes a fuss to not to leave her, we did a few nights where we stayed til she fell asleep but within an hr she was awake again , we then gave in and put her in with us where she sleeps like a rock! we have been sllightly lenient as we have just come back off holiday and with jet lag and her going back to school we wanted her fully rested, so not sure if we have created a problem or there is really one there. Whilst we were away she obviously was in our room. if she is genuinly scared i dont have a problem letting her stay with us for a short period but i would like a plan of action as she is the only one getting any sleep lol. She is terribly wilful and wont back down, i have asked if there is a problem at school but she has only been back about 5 days and things were ok before xmas. At first I put it down to not having routine whilst being away, over tiredness, xmas pus her bday so we have a lot going on but not sure where to go from here

 

[seoj]

Most likely it is a stage- but it does sound like she has a bit of anxiety. Maybe from her routine being off- like already mentioned. Or she is just understanding things different and going through a developmental stage- and that is causing her little brain to go into overdrive? I do know a bit about anxiety- my SD was diagnosed with it (due to some situations that occured with her Bio Mom when she was very little- so different sitution)- but, it can be common for some kids to experience a type of anxiety from time to time while they develop and understand things on a different level. My SD used to have us keep her door open, and our door open- or else she could not sleep (and our bedrooms were right next to eachother). Have you maybe tried something like that? We started off with both doors totally open- then eventually cracked- then eventually just her's was closed, then both... it took time and encouragement (pretty much nightly)- but in time, it got better. Hopefully it wouldn't take long for your kid- but might be worth a shot. Just go from your room, to her room (laying with her) then open doors etc...

I completely understand wanting her in your room- if only so you can all get a good night sleep. My hubby had to do that at times in desperation because my SD's anxiety was so bad he would never get sleep otherwise. It's just a viscous cycle sometimes.

You know your daughter best- so just do what your comfy with hun. There could be more to it - just keep encouraging and know, in time, it will get better. And in the long run, it's good for her to be able to sleep comfortably in her own room. Not always the easy solution short term- but you'll get there. Best of luck!

 

[jeslyn]

My daughter was scared of something she thought was inside, so we would walk through checking everything under beds, in closets, basements. We also did the door open thing. That along with prayers to angels at night, along with reminders that we've all always been safe has helped my 6 yr old daughter. These little girls are huge handfuls!