Sleep regression? HELP, NO SLEEP

[spicyorange]

My DD is just about three months and she will not sleep. She used to go down about 11pm wake at 2am & 5am for feeds but I was happy with that. We started putting her down at 9pm because she was getting over tired and she would add in an 11pm feed when I went to bed but now she doesn't sleep.
By "doesn't sleep" I mean she now goes down at 9pm, wakes at 10.30pm, 1am, 3am, then is basically awake the rest of the night, sleeping maybe 15 / 30 / 40 minutes at a time on and off, waking for more than she sleeps.

I've tried feeding her, (shes EBF) she does seem hungry but she takes a very short feed and falls asleep, I can't then wake her for more (she just doesn't wake up!) Then she wakes again shortly after.

I've tried trying to settle her without food but she just thrashes about and gets upset.

She has a dummy, I think it makes things worse but it settles her and sometimes she doesn't if it falls it and sometimes she won't even take it.

She sleeps quite a bit in the day but waking her from her naps (or preventing them) doesn't seem to help (she just gets grumpy).

I read about sleep regression and laugh at the plight of all these people who are "only" getting two hour stretches when they used to get 6, I USED to get 2-3 and that was great but I'm actually feeling sick from having NO sleep.
I need help.
I'm not prepared to cry it out, I don't agree with it (although I've tried leaving her until she gets actually upset and it didn't help).
What can I do??!

 

[Taurus8484]

How much does she sleep during the day??? She may have her nights and days confused still if she is sleeping too much during the day.

 

[RaquelDee]

You poor thing, sleep deprivation really sucks.

From what you've said, it sounds like a combination of day/night confusion and snacking rather than having full feeds are the problem. You may have already tried the following, but if not, perhaps these could help:

- try to follow a feed/play/sleep routine in the day, gradually extending the play time. This should help her wake hungry from her naps and take fuller feeds, which hopefully will also result in a fuller feed at bedtime.
- have a go at dreamfeeding, perhaps just before one of her regular wake-up times try stirring her up just enough to get her to latch and see if you can get her to take more that way. A nappy change can be a good way to get them to just be conscious enough to start feeding.
- make sure she is exposed to sunlight first thing in the morning and keep things fairly bright in the day.
- use a bedtime routine (perhaps with a bath) to help her distinguish night sleep from day naps
- can someone help you overnight? If someone else could deal with the initial wakings, and either resettle her or keep her as calm as possible for an extra half an hour, you'd be able to space the night feeds out a little more and hopefully she would eat and sleep for longer as a result.
- perhaps track her sleep and wake times for a few days. Babies this old average 14-16 hours sleep every 24, with 10-12 happening at night (which seems to be defined as 7pm-7am) and anything from 2-5 in the day. If you track your baby's sleep and wake times, it should give you some indication as to whether she is getting enough sleep in the first place, and also how much needs to shift from 'day' to 'night'. You could then work out a bit of a plan for her day naps that could help shift her night sleep more into line.

I hope something helps and you get a little more sleep soon.

 

[Button#]

Best advice I can give you is to go to bed early yourself and research safe co sleeping guidelines. I'm in the middle of the six month bad sleep patch and I've had a couple of weeks of not much sleep.

Also something I learned with my son is to try not to worry about it and try and drive yourself mad by thinking what can you do. You can't really make them sleep and it's natural and normal for them to wake. It's so much easier to change your own perspective and try and help yourself through the rough patches. I have the benefit of this being my second of knowing that it will pass, they will sleep through at some point.

 

[spicyorange]

Thanks, I do keep things loud and bright in the day and quiet and dark at night and have a bedtime routine with bath.
Good idea about tracking sleep, I will try that, how do you adjust if she had them confused? I thought by three months that was worked out? She doesn't sleep more than a block of 3hrs ever, we managed 4 onie I think.
She's in a bedside crib but we can't cosleep for various reasons ( it wouldn't be safe for is).
There's no one to help at night because dh works full time so I have to survive, I don't really have time to nap either.
Dream feeding doesn't seem to work as she is so hard to wake and doesn't take if she is asleep unless you have tips on how to do it?

 

[staralfur]

There's a growth spurt around 3 months so that could explain why she's waking to feed more. Definitely let her sleep as much as she wants during the day as overtired babies sleep worse.

Unfortunately sleep isn't linear so while you hope that as they get older they learn to sleep longer, that most often is not the case. You'll hit patches of awful sleep and better than normal sleep. My LO started sleeping through the night at 10 months but then by 15 months her sleep was almost as bad as it was when she was a newborn!

Best advice I can give is to try to make things as simple as possible for yourself. I found that just thinking "yep, this is crappy stage for sleep but it'll get better one day" and then letting my LO sleep in our bed so I didn't have to get up 10938483 times per night was the best way to go.

 

[spicyorange]

Thanks. The bedside cot held that I don't have to get it of bed. I'm just hoping we have a better night tonight.I've fed her loads today to see if that helps

 

[RaquelDee]

If you track her sleep and she is managing enough across 24 hours, then I probably would start waking her from day naps to try to slot in a bit more waketime during the day. I know that overtired babies sleep worse, but given how little sleep you are getting already, I don't think this would make it any worse for you. So perhaps if she has been napping for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, wake her up, feed her, and play with her until she gets tired again. Don't prevent her from napping when she gets tired again, but just don't let the naps go too long. Then hopefully you'll be able to fit in an extra period of awake time during the day and start shifting her night sleep in the right direction.

I know some people have success with dreamfeeding from a bottle, but this never worked for me. Undressing her a bit so she is a bit cooler might help. Once she has latched, rubbing her palm can keep the sucking reflex going. But it might be a lot of effort without much reward, so perhaps not the best solution for you.

I was also wondering if, given how short her night feeds are, she is actually just using you as a dummy substitute? Maybe try only feeding every second or third waking and the dummy for the other times, especially after 3am when she is waking so frequently. If this works, then perhaps dh can do dummy duty for you over the weekend and let you catch up on your own sleep a bit.

Good luck - I hope you have a better night tonight.

 

[d_b]

Sounds like my DD. She had been sleeping sort of ok, doing some 3 hr stretches. Then at 4 months she stopped sleeping. She goes to bed 7:30pm then is up at 9, 11, and from 12-4/5am she is mostly awake, sleeping 10/20 minutes here and there. Then she sleeps until around 6:30am. She naps better than she sleeps at night, but I always wake her from naps because I have things to do with the other kids. So she naps twice a day for a max of 2 hours a nap. I'm just hoping it improves soon. We have just started her on a little bit of solid food, but so far this hasn't made a difference. We tried giving her a bottle before bed but it didnt change anything.

 

[calm]

Mine didn't sleep from 2 to 5 months, never hit a regression until 9 months, and I'm still suffering from that regression now (its currently 5 in the morning, I've been up for 4 hours ). No advice, just to say it sucks and its very hard