Sleep training a clingy nursing/cosleeping 8 month okd

[Blackrain90]

He has been cosleeping from day one- and by that I mean I have to be holding him. Have gotten him to sometimes fall asleep laying next to me nursing but usually wakes up frustrated in the night and wants at least his head on my arm. He won't fall asleep without nursing (unless in a vehicle/carrier).

During the night we wake up (usually to roll him to the other side of me) 12+ times and he usually needs to nurse back to sleep-only actually eats a few times a night but just likes to suckle. Won't take a pacifier, just chews on it and pulls it out.

Tried sleep training him in his crib- variations of every thing from leaving him 5 mins and then picking up soothing, longer periods of time, visiting but not picking him up, to even just letting him cry for 1+ hours and just talking once or twice over the monitor. At first it seemed like we were making progress but then it just stopped working and he wouldn't sleep at all unless he passed out for 20 mins out of exhaustion.

I just now tried having him next to me in bed not nursing and he screamed 45 mins. Gave him Boob while he lied here but as soon as I took it away more screaming. Now he is wide awake.

I'm at a loss. I need him to at least be able to nap on his own by the time I go back to work in 4 months (he won't take bottles or solids yet either so that's another fun battle).

The more he cries the more wound up he gets and starts shaking and stuff, it just seems counter productive. My oldest was nothing like this so this is all new.

 

[xdxxtx]

What a sweet baby. I'd be so frustrated if I were you, but looking in as an outsider, I can see that he is accustomed to this level of dependence (on you) and may not change readily. My fourth-born was similar. I used to talk about how much he enjoyed being a baby. He didn't feel the need to be independent like his siblings did. We tried 2 weeks of pick-up-put-down like I trained my oldest 2, to no avail. We moved to controlled crying for a few days, but he would cry more and go absolutely nuts when I went in there and wouldn't hold him, so we went straight to crying-it-out. He cried the entire night the first night while my OH and I cried and held each other. It was awful, but I really wanted to stick with it and let my baby finally get a full night of sleep. On night 2, he cried for 30-60 mins and then slept all night. The third night was so much easier. It's been 3 months, and we don't tend to him in the middle of the night if he wakes because he will go back to sleep after a couple of minutes. He sometimes cries for a few minutes when first put down. All of my babies did. My 2-year-old still does! It's okay. I know it sounds harsh and might be too much for you, but it depends on how desperate you are. My LO went straight to being more independent after he started sleeping all night on his own, and he's a lot happier. So are his siblings, since him waking through the night kept them up, too, for all those months!

Good luck! Whatever route you take, a baby who just wants to be with you is not easily trained.

 

[luz]

I hate to say it, but the way I trained my kids was just letting them cry themselves back to sleep. I'll go in and give them a pacifier in their hand, but won't let them out of their crib. You just have to make sure they're well fed before bed time. at 8 months old he definitely doesn't NEED to eat during the night.