Sleep training: I need some help!

[haleiwamama]

My baby used to be a great sleeper but at 6 months he totally regressed and started waking up multiple times per night... To the point where I even tried co-sleeping (which I never wanted to do) because I wasn't sleeping and therefore I wasn't my best during the day. That didn't work either. It made it worse actually. So several weeks after the constant waking up started I decided to try sleep training.

I tried the Ferber method and the lady in the room but my son kept getting up and falling, hitting his head and crying even more. So I make sure all his needs are met (not hungry, not thirsty, new diaper, breastfed), I follow our schedule to the T, I do a bedtime routine... I put him in bed at 8.

He did start sleeping through the night since the "training" started but the amount of crying when I put him down has only increased. At first it took him 10 minutes and now we're looking at at least 40 of screaming. If the crying gets out if control, like sobbing, I pick him up and calm him down beforehand putting him back in his crib, but he starts right back up. I'm not sure if I should continue... Everyone tells me to not give up and keep pushing but it's been at least 5 weeks since we started and this happens every night. The other moms told me 5 days and he would be OK. What should I do?

 

[Dani_Ldn]

How old is he?

I have started sleep training with my 8 month old, mainly to get her off to sleep on her own & not falling asleep breastfeeding.

She is at the point now where she doesn't cry at sleep time, or if he does cry it is for a minute or 2 maximum. I don't really follow any 'method' as such, I do have the same routine every night at the same time if I can manage it. We do bath, dinner, breastfeed, teeth brushed, read a book & then cuddles & into her cot, where she has a little bunny lovey to cuddle. I have a lullaby app that plays all night (it used to be white noise, but we moved onto the lullabies & eventually we won't have anything playing during the night), I also have a music/light show that plays for 10mins as she is going off to sleep. She is still waking once at night, sometimes twice. This worked with my son (we did it at 9.5 months though) & he was sttn in 2 nights. Seeing as my dd is a little younger, I am not expecting her to sttn just yet.

Are you going in at intervals? Do you have the same routine every night so he gets used to what is happening? Do you have sleep cues for him?

 

[noon_child]

I think it is very normal for babies and toddlers sleep patterns to change at various points in time due to growth spurts, developmental leaps and becoming more aware in general. Also things like weaning can introduce digestion issues and added gas, or even lead to increased hunger if less nutritious food replaces milk too quickly.

I think if you have had a "good" sleeper then these changes can hit you harder, as you suddenly think you are doing something wrong, or have to get them back to sleeping "normally" whereas if they have always woken 3 or four times a night it doesn't seem odd that they are still doing that any 6months.

If he is more upset at bedtime than he was before it sounds like the sleep training might have made him feel a bit insecure maybe??

There are a few practical things to consider, (although I think 99% of the time there isn't anything that can be done to get more sleep and night wakings are just something to be weathered) like is his 8 o'clock bed time too late (overtired babies fight sleep more and wake more frequently) but that depends on what time he gets up for the day and how much daytime sleep he gets.

 

[haleiwamama]

How old is he?

I have started sleep training with my 8 month old, mainly to get her off to sleep on her own & not falling asleep breastfeeding.

She is at the point now where she doesn't cry at sleep time, or if he does cry it is for a minute or 2 maximum. I don't really follow any 'method' as such, I do have the same routine every night at the same time if I can manage it. We do bath, dinner, breastfeed, teeth brushed, read a book & then cuddles & into her cot, where she has a little bunny lovey to cuddle. I have a lullaby app that plays all night (it used to be white noise, but we moved onto the lullabies & eventually we won't have anything playing during the night), I also have a music/light show that plays for 10mins as she is going off to sleep. She is still waking once at night, sometimes twice. This worked with my son (we did it at 9.5 months though) & he was sttn in 2 nights. Seeing as my dd is a little younger, I am not expecting her to sttn just yet.

Are you going in at intervals? Do you have the same routine every night so he gets used to what is happening? Do you have sleep cues for him?

My son is 9 months old, we started sleep training at 8...

I saw the pediatrician today and he thinks that what Im doing wrong is that I dont leave the room once I put him down. I just stay there in room, without interacting much. I pull his legs so he cant get up, I tell him its ok and thats its bed time every now and then, and I'll pat his back sometimes. There are long pauses where I just lay there quietly in the room with him...Im afraid he'll feel abandoned :/

I do follow the same routing every night, to the best of my abilities... sometimes he falls asleep earlier than 8, while breastfeeding... sometimes he wont go to bed until 9pm. The schedule works perfectly in the morning, but after lunch time things dont seem to work out so effortlessly. Ive been tryng to implement nap time at 2:30 and snack at 4:00, but it seems to be different every day.

should I just leave him there? everyone keeps telling me that in 5 days it'll pass... but Im afraid of putting him through all this and 5 days later no progress....

 

[noon_child]

A paediatrician is a child doctor; sleep is not a medical issue so in my opinion, while a paed might have some suggestions they can't tell you what you ought to be doing. Their advice will probably be very culturally biased too (based on what they did as parents, what they think other parents they know did, or what their culture expects children to be).

There are many parents out there who don't sleep train. This doesn't mean their children don't learn to sleep.

I know when my LO was over tired it would take an hour or more of sitting with her before she fell asleep. She was older then though. At 9months I was still bfing my LO to sleep at night.

There are lots of hurdles to come that could undo any sleep training you do, like teething, nightmares, learning to walk/talk etc. so if sleep training isn't working for you you don't have to keep going. Only you know what is important to you.

 

[kajastarlight]

Yes I agree with noonchild. If you don't like the crying sleep training may not be for you and your lo. Most babies will adapt, but not all babies are alike

 

[jazzandru]

We went from bed sharing to me lying in the cot till she slept then leaving. Then me sitting by the cot stroking her hair until she slept. Then me putting her down and leaving the room but only outside the door. I would go in I she cried, settle her and leave. Not until she was over a year old though. At 2 she gets put to bed and left. She usually shouts a bit for a few minutes which I ignore. If she were to genuinely cry I would go back in even now. If she wakes in the night and doesn't settle as soon as I go in then I take her in with me. Other than when she is ill she sleeps through though. I have never left her to cry as it's not something I'm comfortable with.