Sleep training?

[faith2015]

So my DS is 5 months old, mastered sleeping through the night for a few weeks. Decided he didn't want to any more lol

So tonight I decided that I would train. I let him cry for a minute went in, covered him, patted his butt and then I left. Less than 30 seconds he screams, not like I'm hungry cry but a pissed off cry. So I let him fuss for 5 minutes, now the fussing was a burst cry then to a whimp, silent whimp etc. that went on for 25 minutes, now he is wide awake looking in his room but not making any noise at all ??? I'm so confused

 

[MindUtopia]

This is sort of what happens with sleep training. They don't necessarily go to sleep. They just learn not to cry. So they will still wake up and they also may not go to sleep straight away, but the process essentially works via behaviourally conditioning them not to cry for you and expect a response. It's a survival mechanism as if they were left alone in the wild, they, like all baby animals, will only cry so long and then will be silent in order to not attract predators. If you've ever seen a baby deer that got separated from its mother. It will cry for her for awhile, but then they stop crying because they don't want to draw attention to themselves. I think you have to decide for yourself if you're comfortable with that. As for sleep, I'm sure having an older one already you know that it will always be changing and you will have periods when they are waking hourly all night again and periods when they sleep through. Sleeping through isn't really a skill they can learn. It just happens when there isn't a reason to wake up that night, kinda like us. I might sleep all night, or I might need to get up 3x to pee, but it's very dependent on the conditions, whether they are sit, teething, having a growth spurt and feeding loads, learning a new developmental skill. The fact he has slept through at all already is pretty incredible and I would be really pleased with that. Mine never slept through once before 13 months and rarely does it now. But there will be rocky periods and easier periods and I don't think you can really condition that out of them, as teething will still hurt even if you've sleep trained. But I would say actually it sounds like you've been doing a great job already and something is working to get you lots of sleep. I would probably be inclined myself not to mess with that. I know at 5 months, we had a lot of disrupted sleep because of learning to roll. Once that settled down, it got easier again and we didn't have to do anything different except ride it out.

 

[ruby83]

This is sort of what happens with sleep training. They don't necessarily go to sleep. They just learn not to cry. So they will still wake up and they also may not go to sleep straight away, but the process essentially works via behaviourally conditioning them not to cry for you and expect a response. It's a survival mechanism as if they were left alone in the wild, they, like all baby animals, will only cry so long and then will be silent in order to not attract predators. If you've ever seen a baby deer that got separated from its mother. It will cry for her for awhile, but then they stop crying because they don't want to draw attention to themselves. I think you have to decide for yourself if you're comfortable with that. As for sleep, I'm sure having an older one already you know that it will always be changing and you will have periods when they are waking hourly all night again and periods when they sleep through. Sleeping through isn't really a skill they can learn. It just happens when there isn't a reason to wake up that night, kinda like us. I might sleep all night, or I might need to get up 3x to pee, but it's very dependent on the conditions, whether they are sit, teething, having a growth spurt and feeding loads, learning a new developmental skill. The fact he has slept through at all already is pretty incredible and I would be really pleased with that. Mine never slept through once before 13 months and rarely does it now. But there will be rocky periods and easier periods and I don't think you can really condition that out of them, as teething will still hurt even if you've sleep trained. But I would say actually it sounds like you've been doing a great job already and something is working to get you lots of sleep. I would probably be inclined myself not to mess with that. I know at 5 months, we had a lot of disrupted sleep because of learning to roll. Once that settled down, it got easier again and we didn't have to do anything different except ride it out.

That's a great way to look at it. Thanks for that response, I needed to read that after 2 weeks of crappy sleep with my DS2. I guess as mothers we just need to accept that babies aren't robots and we will have ups and downs and probably not a great deal of restful sleep 🙈

 

[ruby83]

Faith, I hope things improve for you! Sleep deprivation sucks! I found with my DS1 a routine was the best sleep training I could do. That being said, my DS2 is a completely different story! Good luck!

 

[faith2015]

This is sort of what happens with sleep training. They don't necessarily go to sleep. They just learn not to cry. So they will still wake up and they also may not go to sleep straight away, but the process essentially works via behaviourally conditioning them not to cry for you and expect a response. It's a survival mechanism as if they were left alone in the wild, they, like all baby animals, will only cry so long and then will be silent in order to not attract predators. If you've ever seen a baby deer that got separated from its mother. It will cry for her for awhile, but then they stop crying because they don't want to draw attention to themselves. I think you have to decide for yourself if you're comfortable with that. As for sleep, I'm sure having an older one already you know that it will always be changing and you will have periods when they are waking hourly all night again and periods when they sleep through. Sleeping through isn't really a skill they can learn. It just happens when there isn't a reason to wake up that night, kinda like us. I might sleep all night, or I might need to get up 3x to pee, but it's very dependent on the conditions, whether they are sit, teething, having a growth spurt and feeding loads, learning a new developmental skill. The fact he has slept through at all already is pretty incredible and I would be really pleased with that. Mine never slept through once before 13 months and rarely does it now. But there will be rocky periods and easier periods and I don't think you can really condition that out of them, as teething will still hurt even if you've sleep trained. But I would say actually it sounds like you've been doing a great job already and something is working to get you lots of sleep. I would probably be inclined myself not to mess with that. I know at 5 months, we had a lot of disrupted sleep because of learning to roll. Once that settled down, it got easier again and we didn't have to do anything different except ride it out.

This is an awesome way to view babies! It's always nice to have an outsider in's perspective. My oldest daughter who is now seven, she did not sleep through the night until about 15 months old. You're right on, I think it just clicks and from that moment that's when they will sleep through the night.

Something else a really close friend of mine said, this too shall pass he will grow out of it but then you'll miss it like crazy.

 

[ruby83]

Maybe miss the cuddles but I don't think I'll miss the multiple night wakings and sleep deprivation 😝 haha!