sleep!

[lilysmum2]

Hi ladies. I need a bit of advice to do with sleep!! I don't mean sleepless nights, more like actually going to sleep.
My 6 (nearly 7) year old still has trouble going to sleep. Its driving me crazy! She is in a top bunk (youngest is in bottom bunk and goes to sleep pretty much straight away).

she has always struggled with sleep, she used to be registered with the nurse/doctor due to her sleep when she was younger. I will go into their room and she will be pretending to be asleep when you walk in but then will 'wake up' and say she cant sleep.
Her and her sister have the TV on just before bed as they have never been children who can have a story and go to sleep. They have to have the TV on to be able to go to sleep, unfortunately its something my husband does too.
They don't watch anything that will give them nightmares etc....

She will quite happily stay awake until 11-12am! constantly at the top of the stairs shouting us. She will say mainly every night that she has a poorly tummy when she hasn't (she admits she is lying just to get our attention) She will also send her little sister to the top of the stairs as well and make her say lily has a poorly tummy. I'm reaching the end of my tether. I must go up and down them stairs about 6-8 times a night. If we dare to go to bed the same time as them she will be in our room and getting into our bed, so we try to stay up until they go to sleep. No amount of calm talking, explaining, shouting, etc helps., I have tried ever approach possible, even turning off and taking the TV out the room but that's even worse as they will both be up until gosh knows what time!!

Any advice gratefully accepted!

 

[george83]

My children are much younger so my advice may not be relevant at all for your lo. With my 4 year old we tried doing 'no tv time' half hour before bed as it can over stimulate the brain, instead we played board games, card games or did puzzles. My Lo would then have two stories after which I take ds2 to sleep in his room. After dealing with ds2 I have to go back and sit next to ds1 until he falls asleep. I then try to completely ignore him but if I have to speak to him I simply tell him it's sleep time and that's it. If for some reason we get out of routine it takes him a few days to settle back into it again

 

[DCS]

Have u tried changing the bedtime routine? So up at whatever time, bath, teeth, story and instead of the TV on have some white noise? I would ( perosnally ) remove the TV from the room and say it's broken. Unplug it and show them it doesn't work. I'd then tell them that after however long you will be leaving to pop to the toilet. But will check back on them in 5 minutes. Keep popping back in but be super boring I use excuses such as, dog needs a wee, dog needs a poo, need to feed the dog. I know it sounds mean bit I just ignore my kids after their story. Unless they genuinely need something. I have to stay with dd Who I breastfeed to sleep and once she has had her story I give her a kiss and say good night then just lay there reading a book or come on bnb. Any interaction from me causes them to wake right up.
Out of curiosity if ur lo is staying awake till 11/ 12 what time do they wake up?

 

[lilysmum2]

She will typically wake about 7:30-8:00.

I've tried all that Hun and they just mess about and play games with each other. It's so hard! X

 

[OmarsMum]

Try something calming like bedtime meditation, there are several apps with guided mediation for children, or maybe move her to a mattress on the floor & lie down next to her until she falls asleep. It seems that her sleeping arrangement is not working so maybe she needs something different to sleep. You can also try aromatherapy with calming oil in a humidifier.

For me spending an hour with my son in bed to help him fall asleep is much better than hearing him screaming in the evening and calling for us.

And I'd remove the tv out of the room, it is stimulating.

How is her diet? A multivitamin with high calcium & magnesium might help, I'd also try some changes in her diet, I know my son would struggle to fall a sleep if he eats a heavy dinner close to bedtime, he gets plain yoghurt before bedtime, he eats his main meal 4 hrs before bedtime.

Does she go for any physical activities during the day?

My boy had loads of sleep issues, he used to wake up several times at night, it got better just recently, changes in his diet, using meditation, aromatherapy oil & engaging him in sports made his sleep much better.

 

[DCS]

What about a gro clock? Both mine share a room and the clock is where they can both see it. I'd personally still switch the TV off and leave them to mess around and do whatever they want as long as they are in bed. But I am totally aware that it's easy for me to say it, given that it isn't my kids, and I'm not having to deal with it.
Reason I asked about time limit wakes up is because if my DS goes to bed any later than 7.30 he wakes up after 7am which just isn't enough time to get ready for school at his pace so I need to wake him and then he is super tired and is bed earlier the next day.

 

[aidensxmomma]

My 8yo son is very similar - he will lay down to sleep and then talk to himself for hours to avoid actually falling asleep. There have been nights where he's up until 10 or 11 at night and he needs to get up at 7am during the school year. It took me a long while to get him to start falling asleep at a decent hour and sometimes we still have bad nights.

My first suggestion is to get rid of the tv. I understand that your DD needs the sound to fall asleep. My OH and my son are the same way where they cannot fall asleep to silence. But the flashing lights and everything from the tv make it really, really hard to fall asleep. I used to let my son keep the tv on but then he would just keep himself up watching it. The solution we have found is that he and his sister get 1/2 hour to watch tv before bedtime where they get a snack and watch a show. Then it's bedtime with lights and tvs off. My son sleeps with his fan on, so it's not completely silent in his room. Another possible suggestion (which is what my OH does) is to turn on a show or movie on youtube or something similar, turn the device it's on facedown (so there's no flashing lights, etc.) and fall asleep to that. So there's still the noise to listen to but it's less distracting and you can't actually stay awake watching.

If they're keeping each other up, you could also try staggering their bedtimes a little so that one can fall asleep before the other. I'm not sure how practical that would be, but it's a possible solution.

I hope you can find something that works well.

 

[lilysmum2]

What about a gro clock? Both mine share a room and the clock is where they can both see it. I'd personally still switch the TV off and leave them to mess around and do whatever they want as long as they are in bed. But I am totally aware that it's easy for me to say it, given that it isn't my kids, and I'm not having to deal with it.
Reason I asked about time limit wakes up is because if my DS goes to bed any later than 7.30 he wakes up after 7am which just isn't enough time to get ready for school at his pace so I need to wake him and then he is super tired and is bed earlier the next day.

They used to have a grow clock but my eldest figured out how to change it!! she is so sneaky!!

Im going to have to put a plan in place and also have a behavior chart i think. it might help them to want to be good and go to sleep maybe??xx

 

[RaspberryK]

I would completely get rid of the TV.
You could introduce 15 mins of reading by themselves and any messing then it's lights out.
Blackout blinds!
I always say "you don't have to go to sleep but you do have to lay quietly in your bed."
I wouldn't interact with them at all, just keep putting them back to bed in silence.
I think some kind of reward system would be good with it earning something at the end but also strike out any earned points if there is bad behavior.
x

 

[george83]

To go along with the White noise suggestions a little boy I used to baby sit for - back in the good old days - used to have a CD player with stories playing every night which sent him to sleep quickly.

I think you just need to decide what you want to do and stick rigidly with it, any slight deviation is just an excuse for them to play up. And I know it sounds so patronising but remember "this to shall pass" my 2 year old had me at breaking point with his lack of sleep, I had days where I daren't speak to anybody I was so tired I would have just cried but he eventually came through it and now actually sleeps at night