Smacking your child in public

[Gem0412]

So I was out shopping on Sunday at a busy retail park with my lo and dh. A little boy no older than 3 wonders past us looking pretty confused, then his mum comes running up screaming at him and repeatedly cracks him on the bum HARD! She then stops poor little thing is clutching his bum, screams some more then carries on smacking him. At this point I said stop smacking your child in public as other kids were watching. Obviously the boy had wondered off but he was only young and probably didn't understand "stranger danger" . Is it ever acceptable to disapline your child like that in public or was it just me? Don't want to cause a massive debate or anything but just wanted other opinions.

 

[XJessicaX]

I disagree with any violence towards children BUT we dont know the full story here. The little boy may have run off leaving the mother frantically looking for him and in her anger smacking him on the bottom was an impulsive move.

 

[ILoveShoes]

I have never smacked my little boy.
I can only imagine that the Mum thought she had lost him, and was very shocked and upset.
Personally, I don't like smacking at all.
xx

 

[kates84]

I won't go in to my opinion on hitting children generally (that's a whole other debate and I don't want to start a ruckus in your thread) but at 3 years old, in my opinion, a child is far too young to understand why they are being punished for something like wandering off.

While I can understand a panic stricken parent giving a child a swat out of fear in this situation, doing it repeatedly and screaming at the child is just pure wrong, and frightening other children like that is wrong too.

Thank you for speaking up to this lady. She may have just acted on impulse out of fear and out of character and you may have snapped her out of it.

 

[dgirllamius]

If she would have done that here then no doubt someone would have reported her and she would of had the book thrown at her. Any hitting towards children here is illegal no matter what the reason is (and I don't think there ever is a good reason to hit a child).

 

[ellismum]

Trust me, as someone who has a son with behavioural difficulties,a temper and the attitude of a 14 year old there is no way in hell I would raise me hand to him. To actually strike him like she did was quite frankly, barbaric, fraught or not! Of she can so that in public god only knows what she does at home. I don't need to know the full story, there is no excuse.

 

[Lyd]

I just wouldn't smack my child. Full stop.

 

[Gem0412]

I'd've thought he might be happy his mum found him as he looked pretty overwhelmed. I couldn't understand what she was saying because it wasn't in english. I would never hit my girl, I think it's shocking to see in such a public place. I'm glad she stopped when I said something though.

 

[JessicaM123]

I was smacked as a child, and not very often as i learnt it hurt, but it worked as a method of discipline for my mum. However, that being said i will not be smacking LO at all, as i don't believe in it, and there are other ways to discipline a child. Even if i was panicking that i lost him, if i chased after him i think my reaction would be to not tell him off but to pick him up in a hug thankful i hadn't lost him! I'm going to be too soft i can see it now!

 

[Hunbun]

I personally don't agree with smacking as a discipline but maybe like PP have said she lost him and just panicked. Sometimes you are so overcome with worry that you act without thinking.

I don't really understand why her doing it in public is such an issue. If you disagree with smacking surely it would upset you wither it is in public or private? It makes no difference to the boy, he is still being hit either way.

 

[ellismum]

I personally don't agree with smacking as a discipline but maybe like PP have said she lost him and just panicked. Sometimes you are so overcome with worry that you act without thinking.

I don't really understand why her doing it in public is such an issue. If you disagree with smacking surely it would upset you wither it is in public or private? It makes no difference to the boy, he is still being hit either way.

The issue is for me is that it wasn't just one smack but a series of smacks in 2 goes. If she's comfortable doing that in public infront of strangers then what does she do behind closed doors?

 

[Gem0412]

It would shock me if I saw someone hitting a child like that in their own home. It was the way she was doing it. Repeatedly instead of the once. I've only seen a kid been hit once before and it was a 10 year old that smacked his mum in the face and called her a bitch. He got a crack on the arse. But only one. And he knew what he was doing.

 

[mommy0629]

Sort of afraid to speak here lol but IF you do use an occassional spanking as part of discipline, it should never, ever be done in anger. I would certainly imagine that the mom was just probably out of her mind worried that he wandered off and did it out of an overflow of emotion. I think it's good you spoke up, you probably sort of snapped her out of it and brought her back to her senses.

I will say, I have never spanked my child in public and never would. Goodness, in the US you could get arrested for that!

 

[Noelle610]

That would bother me. As the PP said, if you do use spanking as discipline it shouldn't be impulsive or out of anger.

Truthfully, I don't understand impulsively striking a child. I may eat my words when DD is older, but I've impulsively done things I'm not proud of (swearing, shouting), but I've never had the urge to hit her. Ever. I just don't get it.

 

[mellyboo]

I was smacked as a child, and not very often as i learnt it hurt, but it worked as a method of discipline for my mum. However, that being said i will not be smacking LO at all, as i don't believe in it, and there are other ways to discipline a child. Even if i was panicking that i lost him, if i chased after him i think my reaction would be to not tell him off but to pick him up in a hug thankful i hadn't lost him! I'm going to be too soft i can see it now!

I 100 % agree with you.

Me and my mom had a HUGE debate the other day about spanking your child my mom's friend takes her grand daughter often and apparently smacked her on the bum because she tried to run off IMO i dont think its up to the grandparent to be spanking there grand kids its up to the parent on form of discipline.

I would be pissed if anyone smacked Jordyn i would be honestly furious.

 

[special_kala]

Screw the public bit, smacking imo is not ok at all.

 

[Seity]

I'm a firm believer in using spanking as a means of discipline, but only in certain situations and only one time to the butt. I always try other means first, if the behavior continues, I warn that a spanking is coming, if it persists after the warning he gets a smack on the bottom. I absolutely can and will spank in public. It wouldn't make sense to wait until later to do it and I firmly believe that what I'm doing is perfectly fine and it's most definitely not illegal.
However from what you described, she's doing it all wrong. Multiple strikes in anger like that just aren't right. She may have been scared and reacting to her fear from the child wandering off, but she didn't handle it well.

 

[special_kala]

That would bother me. As the PP said, if you do use spanking as discipline it shouldn't be impulsive or out of anger.

Truthfully, I don't understand impulsively striking a child. I may eat my words when DD is older, but I've impulsively done things I'm not proud of (swearing, shouting), but I've never had the urge to hit her. Ever. I just don't get it.

I dont know, a cold unemotional smack unnerves me more.

 

[Noelle610]

That would bother me. As the PP said, if you do use spanking as discipline it shouldn't be impulsive or out of anger.

Truthfully, I don't understand impulsively striking a child. I may eat my words when DD is older, but I've impulsively done things I'm not proud of (swearing, shouting), but I've never had the urge to hit her. Ever. I just don't get it.

I dont know, a cold unemotional smack unnerves me more.

I see your point - perhaps it's more shocking as a premeditated thing?

Again, I know I may feel differently as my kid gets older but it's just very much against my instincts to hit her.

 

[kimberleyrobx]

We sometimes give Emily the odd bum skelp (a tap more than anything) if she becomes a hand full but to smack a child for wandering off? Ridiculous! Good on you, I'd of had her told! That's what happens when your eyes arent peeled... I'd never hit Emily in public, mainly because I'd hate to see anyone smacking their child! I usually ignore Emily's bad behaviour, probably the reason she laughs at me whenever I tell her off