Smacking your child in public

[Larkspur]

I dont think anyone actually reads my posts

If you're talking to me, I think a FTM would probably get a wide enough range of opinions here to not have to feel that she's the "worst mum ever".

I agree that saying things like "all spanking is child abuse" is not particularly helpful but I don't think saying you would never choose to smack a child is the same thing. I get it, I know you didn't think you would smack either, but that doesn't change my perspective.

 

[LDC]

I think its very, very clear from the original post that this Mother was smacking her child excessively. Those that seem to veer this fact onto 'oh don't judge me because I tap my child!', need to re-read the original post and most subsequent posts. Tapping a child's hand away from a fire or pushing a hand away quickly so that your child doesn't smack another, is not, in my books violent. No-one is judging any parent about this sort of parenting, so please don't take offense.

What is violent and abusive is pasting shit out of a small toddler in public. Its reportable and extremely offensive and also very upsetting for those that have to watch and battle with a 'shall I or shall I not intervene?' decision.

We are bombarded with news stories about babies and toddlers actually being beaten to death in the news and this makes us extra vigilant when out in public. Its natural to want to step in.

I will also re-iterate that you cannot EVER justify smacking a child in an excessive manner with a weak excuse such as 'you don't know what happened beforehand, so don't judge this poor mother's behaviour'.

Just imagine this visual image - A man in a supermarket hitting and hitting and hitting his wife over the head screaming at her 'where the hell have you been! I was worried sick!' and then bashing her again whilst she cowers down to the floor in fear. I guarantee that the police would be called, domestic abuse cited, people gathered in a group to watch and stop this horrendous act, staff running to stop it........so why then is it okay to to do this same, exact thing to a small child?, who is actually even more defenseless and vulnerable than an adult woman?.

There is no excuse in the world for hitting a child repeatedly. end of.

Definitely agree with you that the original post showed excessive smacking.

However, following on people on this post seem unable to distinguish between excessive discipline and giving a smack on the bum/hand. The comments are along the lines of I wouldn't smack full stop and compare it to hitting a woman are well off the mark.

I don't know if people comprehend a smacked bum in different ways and picture full force hitting, because (in my book) that's not what it is hence, some of the comments on here seem pretty ridiculous IMO in regards to parents who do or may smack.

Each to their own I guess, as I said before we all parent differently. It doesn't mean that one way is right or wrong. Nothing in relation to parenting is ever going to be black and white - surely we've learnt this from bnb by now!

I think sometimes threads are opened, probably with the right intentions, but people must know the topic is going to start a debate. In this case the op knew her own opinion, I personally don't see the point coming on here where opinions are going to conflict to start a thread. She acted appropriately at the time, now we move on.

Someone will now come back with some of the same things already written.

I think this thread should be closed now, it seems to be going round in circles. Xx

 

[Sunshine12]

Personally dont think its for anyone else to decide whether its appropriate or not without knowing the whole story. I personally dont intend to smack my child (albeit i may change my mind as she gets older) but I dont think its fair to judge without knowing the events that occurred beforehand or to see it first hand. x

Huh? no-one has to know the whole story?? If you see a child being hit repeatedly in public and in a way that is very distressing for the child, also other adults and children to watch etc then you have a duty to even report it, especially if it is getting out of hand. OP saw a woman hitting her child many times. Sorry, I wouldn't really care about events beforehand...does any circumstance justify smacking the holy bejeesus out of a three year old?

I think OP was good to say something and be concerned

I completely disagree. You do need to know the story before hand, and what the child had done. You can smack repeatedly stop to talk and continue smacking when you're in a little haze. I have stressed out throwing things around them room before, stopped to cry and then carried on and it's taken someone to physically restrain me before I snapped out of it (no one was in the room at the time, they came in to stop me). And once when DS ran out into the road right in front of a car that had to slam on it's breaks I went off on a major rant shouting at him and some people may have passed by and I thought I was being really harsh, that I was a terrible mum and that there was no need for me to say what I say and make him cry, which he did. But he had been running out into roads continually and nothing else worked, but that did and he hasn't done it since. It may not have been spanking but it is a time when people might have judged the way I parented without knowing the full story behind it my actions.

My point exactly. Without seeing it i cant judge (if she was whacking the living daylights out of the child then obviously no excuse for it but i didnt see what happened so not jumping to conclusions about the situation). x

 

[Dezireey]

Oh give me strength.................Goes off to get a cup of tea and watch Peppa Pig.

 

[meli1981]

Then stop posting

 

[Noelle610]

I really haven't seen one post in this thread that said parents who smack/spank their parents are bad people.

 

[SMoose]

For how far south these threads can go , honestly the posts back and forth have been pretty tame IMO.

 

[Noelle610]

For how far south these threads can go , honestly the posts back and forth have been pretty tame IMO.

I thought so too!

 

[meli1981]

I really haven't seen one post in this thread that said parents who smack/spank their parents are bad people.

Its pretty plainly implied.

 

[fieryphoenix]

Not directed towards anyone in specific, but some people on here are SO sensitive! It's really kinda silly lol. It doesn't bother me what some anonymous random usernames think of me...

 

[HappyAnjeL]

In the store there was a small child
running off he made his mom wild
she struck his bum
is she a terrible mum
or do you think it was quite mild

 

[fieryphoenix]

In the store there was a small child
running off he made his mom wild
she struck his bum
is she a terrible mum
or do you think it was quite mild

nice one!

 

[Dezireey]

Then stop posting

I just can't help it...........

 

[Noodlebear]

Christ almighty

I actually think that 99% of the posters on here are in agreement (you wouldn't think it to look at the way the thread has gone lol) - one tap on the hand/bum is 'acceptable' in that it's down to individual parents whether or not they wish to discipline their child in that way. A great whack or what the woman in the OP was doing (REPEATEDLY hitting her child) is wrong. And I personally don't give a rats ass what the story behind it was that was child abuse.

As I said previously, I'm not against smacking and while I don't really want to use the method myself I'm sure that at one time or another I will smack Lucas. There is a monumental difference between smacking/spanking a child and hitting.

 

[Noelle610]

I really haven't seen one post in this thread that said parents who smack/spank their parents are bad people.

Its pretty plainly implied.

really? Which posts do you think imply that?

 

[ukgirl23]

personally I agree with the second comment on this thread, I am totally anti smacking but when my daughter was 4 she walked out into a busy road in front of a bus, my world went into slow motion and in those seconds my world turned into my worst nightmare, luckily a man reached out and grabbed her for me as I stood paralysed by fear. Even as I type this I am crying remembering it lol. Once we got her to safety the first feeling that hit me was anger, as strange as that sounds. I wanted to smack the chit out of her for being so stupid and putting herself in danger. All reasoning of her age and inexperience went out of my mind and all I could say to her was you stupid stupid girl. Once the fear had subsided and I had calmed down I cried and told her how sorry I was over and over. I cried on and off all day. I had assumed that she would hold the pushchair by herself as we walked to school but she saw one of her friends across the road and went to walk to him. I had a wrist strap on her for ages after lol.

Same thing happened when this stupid woman pulled out into our car while we were crossing a junction she crashed into the side of the car which my son was sat in. Luckily my OH sped up so she just clipped the back or things might have been much worse, but my first reaction after making sure Luke was safe was to go out there and shout at how stupid she is and how she could have hurt my son, after the adrenaline had subsided I managed to accept her apology and say sorry to her for shouting at her lol..

As mothers we are all doing our best and we should not judge unless we know the full story it's reasons like judgement that make mothers feel uncomfortable in public. We've all been on the end of being judged and it isnt nice.