Smug BF mummies-rant

[mrsf1234]

My LO is five months, FF since about 5 weeks, very very happy, healthy and has always slept well, eaten well (sttn 10pm til 7am from 7 weeks).

But when talking to some bf'ing mothers I often get the 'oh well ff babies are easier to get into a routine, sleep better' ....the comment doesn't bother me but the way it's said does......as if I've taken the easy option and unless u r gruelling through motherhood, bf'ing and not sleeping, you aren't a proper mother etc!

Grrrrrr....I bite my tongue when they say babies are still feeeding thru night as I want to scream " perhaps your BF is low and your baby is just fricking starving!!"

Uruguay what's so bad about ff anyway.....my darling DH made me feel so much better when I ranted to him about whether Formula was ok and said "they can put a man on the moon....I think they can make food for a baby!..,love him.

 

[mrsf1234]

Just wanted to add I'm not saying bf isn't great for your baby, don't want to get into that but just that in this day and age, women have choices.

 

[Bats11]

No No No, I totally disagree with "those" bf'ding mothers who make comments like that, I bf for 3 months and she only ever use to wake once through the night for a feed, Im ff now and have ff for the past month and no difference!! she has just started sleeping through the night with not wanting a feed this past week!

Dont worry about negative comments, people like that are just bored with their own lives!

 

[Mummythree]

I bet they have been a mum for all of 5minutes but know it all lol
no offense to first time mummies, i just hate mums who have been a mum a very short space of time to their first baby and think they know it all.

Anyways that's ballocks, ive three children 1 was bf for 14months and that was hard work, she fed constant and wasn't a great sleeper. I have also ff 2 of my children (ds was bf for 5days before i had to switch) and the whole ff babies are easier they sleep great and feed great ect is utter rubbish.

DD1 Was ff and she didnt sleep through the night till she was 2.
DS Was in a routine and slept 10-12hrs till he developed reflux at 3months old and feeding and sleep has been severly disrupted so the feeding method is irrelevent.

 

[skunkpixie]

Luckily people like that are in the minority though. Also its not just BF mothers who can have this attitute, I have also seen it equally from FF mothers aswell. Bosting about how they get loads of sleep and how their babies never cry. Rolling their eyes when a mother latches her baby on in public etc. Its all wrong. Nobody should think that they are a better, more superior mother if they feed a certain way. Equality, not superiority. xx

 

[mrsf1234]

Mummy three -actually this comment WAS by a new mum haha and skunk pixie, totally agree. I have no issues what any mother wants to do, just live and let live!

 

[urchin]

agreeing with SP here ... it is sad when mummies play 'I'm better than you' games. We are all doing our best for our babies in our own personal family circumstances - It ain't a competition!

 

[Mummythree]

Mummy three -actually this comment WAS by a new mum haha and skunk pixie, totally agree. I have no issues what any mother wants to do, just live and let live!

i would have loved her to say that to me i would have laughed and told her "youve a lot to learn"

 

[HellBunny]

It annoys me when i see "its not normal for a baby to STTN" i feel like saying "no its not normal for a 4 year old to still be bfing through the night either". Works both ways, my eldest wanted to be fed twice at night until 14 months, my youngest hasn't had a night feed since 3 months. I haven't done anything to discourage him from having a night feed either, but i'm fed up of the usual "its dangerous for babies to STTN/babies should wake every 30 minutes to be fed/mine fed til X age and is happy secure etc. Also fed up of the "easy way out" term aswell, i BF my second for only a short time mainly due to the fact i couldnt spend any time with my toddler, so yeah i did take the easy way out, that doesn't make me less of a mother, i just wanted to give my toddler some one on one time too. Rant over! lol

 

[sandilion]

Grrrrrr....I bite my tongue when they say babies are still feeeding thru night as I want to scream " perhaps your BF is low and your baby is just fricking starving!!"

I just wanna say make sure you don't ever actually say that because in all honesty it could leave you looking silly; as a BF baby needing to feed frequently/cluster feeding is actually completely normal and nothing to do with low milk supply. My 8 month old was born premmie and he actually still clusters at night (drives me insane!) and i have heaps of milk, in fact i have battled over supply issues all the way through. Just thought id mention that just in case you find the urge one day and say it!

But yeah, in saying all of that i totally can understand how you feel. As a BF mother I have come across some pig headed BF mum's in my time. I have even been judged for having a cup of coffee which i have been given the 'ok' to do! I was once grilled for eating chocolate as well, as apparently it 'hurts their gut' so i am basically being completely selfish by eating chocolate

And on the other end of the spectrum, I have been basically snubbed by a FF friend. Even though i let her voice her opinion every time my LO needed a feed, i didn't bother to get into it with her on one single occasion when she found the need to tell me how pointless BF is and that i am clearly doing it because i was 'forced to' (of course i told her that I am dong it by choice, but then i didn't get into any debates with her ever)

She has never come to terms with her own guilt of never attempting to BF her LO (not saying you are the same at all, just telling you about this person) that she in fact can't stand to be around BF women anymore, and even though her and I had started to get close, it soon became more of a competition in mothering and the fact I BF was a deal breaker for her in the end so I never hear from her now. If i do hear from her it's just the occasional comment on my facebook, giving me more unwanted advice to do with my LO. I have never been smug with her ever.... in fact i have always been completely open minded.

Another one is my sister, I was told recently by my mother that my sister isn't interested in meeting my LO until i no longer BF. She has been a FF from the start too, and never have i judged her. But yet again her own issues with her decisions are some how taken out on me as if i am a pest.

So yeah it really goes both ways and it's unfortunate. I just don't give a shit anymore about what people say. I have received some pretty shitty comments as of late since i have decided to start transitioning my LO onto formula, as since i have been BF this long why stop now... blah blah blah. Because I am done with it that's why! Instead of being commended on making it this far, i have been looked down on by some for now wanting to stop!

Oh god and don't me started on us becoming Vegan.... ha ha ha.... boy do people have opinions and judgments on that!

I think with all walks in life we're bound to come across ignorant rude people, it's just a given.

Sorry this was a bit of a rant too!

 

[Ktothema]

Whilst out last weeken, there's us struggling with our poor refluxy ds and this lady sat down, popped her ds on the boob and sat there happily drinking a cuppa and reading a paper. We got chatting and having a laugh about how easy she made it all look. Even though she found it easier now she said it wasn't for weeks. And she thought babies with formula were meant to be more settled. It's easy to judge either way.

 

[greenpear]

I've seen smug moms on all sides when it comes to feeding issues, sleep training/not training, diapering and baby wearing/stroller

why can't we just agree to disagree and be done with it?

Oh and my BF baby has been STTN since 2.5 months so not all babies wake multiple times - I don't think it has anything to do with how you feed a baby but with their temperament. Both me and my sis were FF and I STTN very early but my sis did not sleep at night till she was close to 2 (my poor mom). We have very different temperaments too.

 

[leahsbabybump]

i also totally disagree with the lady that said that to you my babies habbits and routines etc with both my youngest never changed when we switched from breast to bottle

 

[jessicaR4bbit]

Yep, another one here with a mum who had no changed experience switching from breastfeeding to formula. My sister was breastfed till 6 weeks and she didn't STTN till she was 2 as well. Although my mum stopped breastfeeding because she was pressured to formula feed because my sister had a really bad temperament and it was put down to "she's starving put her on the bottle".

2 years later I'd imagine my mum wanted to kill my grandma and her doctor for those comments