Lacuna
Expecting #1 <3
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2012
- Messages
- 45
- Reaction score
- 0
So, when I first realised that I was probably going to keep the baby, I decided not to tell anyone until I was 12 weeks along, because of a) less chance of miscarriage, b) I didn't want lots of people to know before my OH's mother, who wasn't to know before 12 weeks because of a recent miscarriag she had and c) I just wasn't ready. With the exception of my housemate, because I lived with her, and I decided to tell my ex-boyfriend, because I had to explain why I didn't want to go to a gig with him. I made him promise not to tell ANYONE, especially not his best friend, who is a girl he cheated on me with (when she was my best friend), who I DESPISE but I know they're very close. 
Thing is, I still don't feel ready. The important people know, and one or two close friends, but I just don't want people in general to know. My family don't know and I'm terrified of them finding out. The last contact with my mother ended with her telling me, two days before my birthday, that she wanted nothing to do with me and then her getting my stepfather to drop off my things that were in her house. He must have smashed my laptop against a brick wall, as it was smashed to pieces and covered in brick dust, and then he left it outside my front door. This was the end of a year-long dispute that began with her forcing me to take sleeping pills that I was distinctly warned against taking alongside my anti-depressants, her kicking me out of my home and her being emotionally abusive for months afterward (telling me I was an awful child who did everything I could to hurt her, etc).
She is absolutely crazy and said to me as a child that she would force me to have an abortion if I got pregnant. I'm terrified of her reaction, especially when she knows where I live. My father is not as crazy, although he was abusive to me as a child in a similar way, and would probably be more accepting of my pregnancy, but I'm not ready to tell him. I can't deal with the last of my family saying that I'm a disappointment and that they want nothing to do with me.
As a result of this, I don't want people in general to know because people gossip and my family (both sides) are fantastic at picking up on gossip.
So, what does my ex-boyfriend do? He told the girl I hate. Who told her boyfriend, who knew a day before I told him. That made me angry enough, but now someone she knows has just posted on my facebook wall "Congrats." Could have found out from someone else, but I'm so angry. I can't deal with this. I'm so angry that people are finding out about *my* pregnancy, *my* baby, through somebody else, when I'm not ready. My half-brother on my father's side is my friend on facebook, but thankfully I had the hindsight to restrict what he can see on my wall.
Am I overreacting? I think I am, but, god... he was my best friend once upon a time, and I trusted him, and he told someone I despise. I've already had it out with him and blocked him, but I'm still upset. Blergh.
Thing is, I still don't feel ready. The important people know, and one or two close friends, but I just don't want people in general to know. My family don't know and I'm terrified of them finding out. The last contact with my mother ended with her telling me, two days before my birthday, that she wanted nothing to do with me and then her getting my stepfather to drop off my things that were in her house. He must have smashed my laptop against a brick wall, as it was smashed to pieces and covered in brick dust, and then he left it outside my front door. This was the end of a year-long dispute that began with her forcing me to take sleeping pills that I was distinctly warned against taking alongside my anti-depressants, her kicking me out of my home and her being emotionally abusive for months afterward (telling me I was an awful child who did everything I could to hurt her, etc).
She is absolutely crazy and said to me as a child that she would force me to have an abortion if I got pregnant. I'm terrified of her reaction, especially when she knows where I live. My father is not as crazy, although he was abusive to me as a child in a similar way, and would probably be more accepting of my pregnancy, but I'm not ready to tell him. I can't deal with the last of my family saying that I'm a disappointment and that they want nothing to do with me.
As a result of this, I don't want people in general to know because people gossip and my family (both sides) are fantastic at picking up on gossip.
So, what does my ex-boyfriend do? He told the girl I hate. Who told her boyfriend, who knew a day before I told him. That made me angry enough, but now someone she knows has just posted on my facebook wall "Congrats." Could have found out from someone else, but I'm so angry. I can't deal with this. I'm so angry that people are finding out about *my* pregnancy, *my* baby, through somebody else, when I'm not ready. My half-brother on my father's side is my friend on facebook, but thankfully I had the hindsight to restrict what he can see on my wall.
Am I overreacting? I think I am, but, god... he was my best friend once upon a time, and I trusted him, and he told someone I despise. I've already had it out with him and blocked him, but I'm still upset. Blergh.
I hope at least your dad is supportive. 
She could find out through someone else in my family for all I'd care, that's ridiculous. But then that's me, I hope whatever happens turns out okay! 
