So close to the finish line....

[MamaTex]

I am 35 weeks today and feel so blessed to be here. What pains me is that the negative thoughts just won't go away. My baby girl has been looking pretty good at each and every appointment. No issues have arisen, but I can't help but worry about something going wrong right at the last minute. My mind starts wondering about the chances for still birth or complications during birth. Why can't I just be happy and excited for once? My mind just ruins things for me.



I have been feeling positive for the most part, but every now and again I revert to doom and gloom scenarios. My husband asked me why I still look down at the toilet paper at 30ish weeks. I told him it is a habit I can't get rid of, no matter how great things are. Any advice from people who have been at the very end? I keep trying to focus on meeting my rainbow girl and this all becoming real, finally. Some days I succeed more than others.

 

[scarolinarn04]

I can completely relate to this. So far everything has been fine, but I still cant/wont let myself get excited. Even when I do start to think about positive things I immediately remind myself that it's still not guaranteed. I would love to give you some great advice about how to overcome this, but obviously I'm failing at this too. It's a personal protective measure for me and I don't think I'll get past it until LO is here and safe. Oh- and as for checking the toilet paper- I still do that too.

I hope someone can help you better than I did, but know you're not alone.

 

[MamaTex]

I can completely relate to this. So far everything has been fine, but I still cant/wont let myself get excited. Even when I do start to think about positive things I immediately remind myself that it's still not guaranteed. I would love to give you some great advice about how to overcome this, but obviously I'm failing at this too. It's a personal protective measure for me and I don't think I'll get past it until LO is here and safe. Oh- and as for checking the toilet paper- I still do that too.

I hope someone can help you better than I did, but know you're not alone.

I appreciate your kind words. This pregnancy still remains very surreal, even through the kicks, rolls, and Braxton Hicks contractions. I watch my stomach sometimes and have a "Gee golly!" moment. I can't believe all that alien movement is her. I (hopefully) have a few more weeks to go to have this all sink in.

 

[SusieRose]

I am glad it is not just me. May be tmi but you know when you can feel discharge come out do you still get that feeling of what if it's blood. 36 weeks today for me and still feels surreal. No reason not to worry but I guess everyone worries until their babies are born healthy.
At least we have not got long now : )

 

[elleff]

Hi mamatex, I remember you from the first tri when I was pregnant with my angel. I would have been over 36 weeks pregnant by now. Fortunately I'm growing my little rainbow girl
I know how you feel. I'm not as far on as you but even at this stage for me I check toilet paper every single time I go, everytime I have that wet feeling as susie mentioned, I dash to the toilet fearing the worst and already preparing myself before I can even pull my clothes down.
I know despite being way past where I was last time the fear never leaves. I am desperate to get to 24 weeks so my baby is at least viable and it would no longer be a mc if I had her now.
I feel like I am going to have my baby in December but so far I can't see past that, I can't imagine her life yet and I think it's because I'm scared to let myself.
You're not alone

 

[MamaTex]

Hi mamatex, I remember you from the first tri when I was pregnant with my angel. I would have been over 36 weeks pregnant by now. Fortunately I'm growing my little rainbow girl
I know how you feel. I'm not as far on as you but even at this stage for me I check toilet paper every single time I go, everytime I have that wet feeling as susie mentioned, I dash to the toilet fearing the worst and already preparing myself before I can even pull my clothes down.
I know despite being way past where I was last time the fear never leaves. I am desperate to get to 24 weeks so my baby is at least viable and it would no longer be a mc if I had her now.
I feel like I am going to have my baby in December but so far I can't see past that, I can't imagine her life yet and I think it's because I'm scared to let myself.
You're not alone

Congrats on the rainbow and thank you for letting me know I am not alone!! I am now 37 weeks and 2 days, so I am ever closer. The wet feeling definitely gets to me too. It is always discharge when I check, but I can't help but worry it is something else ominous!!

Don't push yourself to do anything you are not entirely comfortable with, but when you do feel the urge to look ahead and day dream, go ahead and do it. It doesn't have to be for too long. Just do it a little bit and sooner than later you will be able to embrace the pregnancy as a certainty. To those who are not in our position, it would seem odd to not think of pregnancy as a certainty but once you have been through what so many of women have unfortunately been through, it is hard to have faith that things will be alright. I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy!!