So disappointed

[sarah2211]

My husband and I have been TTC since November with no luck. It's still early days so I'm trying to reassure myself that it will happen. We'd love a big family and I'm 26 so I'm feeling some pressure. I'm still young but I don't want to rush this whole parenting thing.

Anyway, I'm CD 5, 4th month TTC.

Today DH, who is in the military comes home and says he's been posted overseas on Monday to help with a natural disaster and he'll be gone 4-6 weeks. I was feeling a little gutted, a whole cycle and possibly a half gone. Then, I find out that the country also has Zika and they're told to avoid unprotected sex for at least 4 weeks upon return.

Our baby before Christmas has just gone out the window. It won't be until the end of May when I ovulate and we can actually go back to TTC.

 

[PeasnCarrot]

Sorry to hear that Sarah I'm sure the time will fly past and you'll be pregnant by Christmas. Not quite what you're hoping for but it'll happen xx

 

[kksy9b]

 

[sarah2211]

It just feels so unfair. We wanted to start trying a year and a half ago but decided we'd just wait until we were married. Just as we were beginning to try, it's another wait. It feels like it'll never be our turn. He'll probably come back and be deployed for a year.... I just keep bursting into tears.

Thanks for listening to me complain.

 

[sarah2211]

And if he gets Zika, that'll put a stop to TTC for 6 months!

 

[~curiosity~]

I'm so sorry Hun, totally get where you're coming from. I'm 26 and would also like a big family, we were planning to TTC next month, in Jan it was planned my DH would be away for 6 months in August... I was so upset, but now he won't have to go, it'll be a mix of visits. Cue excitement we can try next month still...now our house purchase is in jeopardy so again we're going to have to wait until we've got it sorted It is such an emotional journey when all us ladies want is to get to the point of having our baby!! Here if you need to chat, especially when your OH is away x

 

[sarah2211]

I'm so sorry Hun, totally get where you're coming from. I'm 26 and would also like a big family, we were planning to TTC next month, in Jan it was planned my DH would be away for 6 months in August... I was so upset, but now he won't have to go, it'll be a mix of visits. Cue excitement we can try next month still...now our house purchase is in jeopardy so again we're going to have to wait until we've got it sorted It is such an emotional journey when all us ladies want is to get to the point of having our baby!! Here if you need to chat, especially when your OH is away x

Thanks Curiosity. I'm currently CD 10 and get goes away tomorrow. He's dunked everything in permethrin and has plenty of insect repellant. It's a 6 month wait if he does get Zika. That is once he gets home! Who knows when that wil be. Last month I was buying pregnancy tests, this month I'll be buying condoms!

I so get where you're coming from. It sounds like you've had a few delays. It's so hard when you were able to start TTC but then have to wait. I hope your house purchase goes through quickly so you can start TTC asap!

I'd love to chat. its hard when you're not publicly announcing you're TTC and people don't get why you're especially gutted about him going away.

 

[~curiosity~]

I'm so sorry Hun, totally get where you're coming from. I'm 26 and would also like a big family, we were planning to TTC next month, in Jan it was planned my DH would be away for 6 months in August... I was so upset, but now he won't have to go, it'll be a mix of visits. Cue excitement we can try next month still...now our house purchase is in jeopardy so again we're going to have to wait until we've got it sorted It is such an emotional journey when all us ladies want is to get to the point of having our baby!! Here if you need to chat, especially when your OH is away x

Thanks Curiosity. I'm currently CD 10 and get goes away tomorrow. He's dunked everything in permethrin and has plenty of insect repellant. It's a 6 month wait if he does get Zika. That is once he gets home! Who knows when that wil be. Last month I was buying pregnancy tests, this month I'll be buying condoms!

I so get where you're coming from. It sounds like you've had a few delays. It's so hard when you were able to start TTC but then have to wait. I hope your house purchase goes through quickly so you can start TTC asap!

I'd love to chat. its hard when you're not publicly announcing you're TTC and people don't get why you're especially gutted about him going away.

Aw hun have you got any hobbies or anything that can keep you busy while he's away? When I thought hubby was going I planned on knitting baby things so I at least felt I was planning for baby. Will you be able to keep regularly in contact with him?

I have really struggled with the will we/won't we part, we had a miscarriage 6 years ago and it has been agony waiting for the right time to try ever since, especially with family members having babies and knowing that my sister-in-law is trying again. I couldn't stop crying every time I thought we were no longer going to be able to TTC!

I hope you still get to be a 2016 momma and the time he's away goes fast xx

 

[sarah2211]

Thanks Curiosity,

He left home on Thursday, but they've actually departed for the island this evening. We have had a few phone calls, but from now on it'll just be the very odd email. It's most difficult not know when he'll be back.

Advise from their medical team is no unprotected sex for 6 months when they return. If I was pregnant now, I could have almost delivered the baby before we are actually able to start trying again. I just want to swear and yell and scream. We've been waiting years, waiting until we were married to start trying and this feels like a huge delay. And what makes it worse is that this isn't something I can share with people. I can't tell people that this is the worst part of him going away. If we hadn't started TTC it might have been easier too. It feels like I had to wait so long to be in this position, got to begin to enjoy it and pretend that it was a reality, to have it all taken away again.

 

[~curiosity~]

Loop

Thanks Curiosity,

He left home on Thursday, but they've actually departed for the island this evening. We have had a few phone calls, but from now on it'll just be the very odd email. It's most difficult not know when he'll be back.

Advise from their medical team is no unprotected sex for 6 months when they return. If I was pregnant now, I could have almost delivered the baby before we are actually able to start trying again. I just want to swear and yell and scream. We've been waiting years, waiting until we were married to start trying and this feels like a huge delay. And what makes it worse is that this isn't something I can share with people. I can't tell people that this is the worst part of him going away. If we hadn't started TTC it might have been easier too. It feels like uI had to wait so long to be in this position, got to begin to enjoy it and pretend that it was a reality, to have it all taken away again.

stay strong Hun, here any time you need to vent. I know it must be very hard wondering what if. When I was working abroad from my husband for a few months I made milestones and that was what helped ie in two weeks it'll be however many days or whatever works for you. I also found setting a countdown app on my phone has given me something to check and focus on, it's amazing how fast the time has gone. That and keep busy.

Keep smiling though I know it must be very hard xx

 

[sarah2211]

Thank you. That is usually what helps me to get through other deployments he's been on but unfortunately we don't know how long he'll be away so a countdown wouldn't work this time. I've been counting up on our calendar and seeing how long it's been is helping.

We managed to get a quick phone call last night and he said he'll make a request to be tested for Zika when he returns. He doesn't think they'll test everyone but he will ask and explain we are TTC so we need to know. Hopefully they will listen

 

[ssarahh]

Can completely understand how upset/frustrated you must feel. Fingers crossed frer will listen and he can be tested quickly.

 

[sarah2211]

Thanks. He's been speaking with someone who can make this sorts of calls and they've said he has a case to be tested. And he said if they refuse then I'll just pay to be tested.

I guess he's got to be in the country first for that to even make a difference!

 

[~curiosity~]

Little things Hun but it sounds like things may be looking up a bit. I suppose not knowing how long it will be could be a good thing, it could be less time perhaps than you're expecting x

 

[Cjayne]

I'm so sorry that your plans have been spoiled x

 

[sarah2211]

Thanks. By the sounds of it, the two month maximum is not longer the case. They'll be there for quite some time yet, while in stuck here with no job, no family nearby and no baby. We've been married two months today, so much for enjoying being newly weds.