So Empty

[twinkle458]

Hi everyone

I'm new here. I've been loitering though... I went in for a scan on Wednesday morning after some 'wiping' bleeding, to be told our little one had no heartbeat. We had a scan the week before and the hb was found. I was 9+4.
I went in for D&C yesterday but actually passed our baby in the morning and proceeded to miscarry myself throughout the day so was not taken for surgery.
I had a miscarriage 3 years ago yesterday also.

I feel so very very empty and like my body let everyone down. All the excitement has gone. So very sad xx

 

[Hanskiz]

I'm so sorry for your losses.

This is such a hard time for you, I hope you find the support you need here. We have all been through what you are experiencing and totally understand where you are coming from.
You mustn't blame yourself - none of this is your fault.

Big

Take care and be kind to yourself.

 

[Alpinestars]

So sorry for your loss
With love
Jo
X

 

[JoH]

I'm so sorry for your loss - miscarriage is such a terribly devastating thing. I too lost a baby a few weeks ago and had my first miscarriage three years ago and I can still feel the pain and horror I felt three years earlier. I don't think we're alone (just look at this website full of hundreds of women, many who have suffered so many losses).

In my desperation I trawled through the net and found a really good book on Miscarriage by Prof Regan and I'm half way through reading it and it explains the medical side of miscarriage and this has really helped me to understand that your body isn't letting you down, it's protecting you when a pregnancy is 100% right. What was interesting were the statistics, that she said 1 in 4 women miscarry, but this could be a lot higher as many go undetected. She also said that most women go on to have successful pregnancies when they've had previous miscarriages. A lot of the time it's down to what she says is 'bad luck' and I do think there's some truth in that. The frustrating thing is that no one can quite understand how scary it is trying again after a loss - that's why most women who miscarry are looking for answers and to get a reason for the miscarry, but sometimes there simply isn't one.

If you can, get a copy from the library or off Amazon - sometimes it helps to understand what your body is doing and that it's not to spite you, but it's nature working.

I'm going to try one more time and am seeing a Consultant prior to trying for baby number 3. Sadly I'll have to do this privately as the NHS want you to have three miscarriages before they'll look into and my GP said he wouldn't fund - nice eh!! So I have applied for my M&S 0% visa card and plan to put the treatments on this and pay off as and when I can!!!

Try to stay positive - it's easy to say I know. I am thinking of you x x

 

[JoanaGoldman]

I am so sory to hear your story. I felt quite sad afterwards.

I do not know what i could say to make you feel better, but the only way i see this easy on you is to try to take your mind away from getting pregnant and just try to think at yourself, at making you happy, doing something for you as a woman. You have to be positive and let it come to you.

Take care.

 

[jessalex26]

hi there,
there are no words that i can say that will take away your pain, i to had a miscarriage a few months ago after i had wiping bleeding. It has been the most awful experience and i also feel like my body is against me. What makes it worse is that there is no reason but thats hardly easy to accept, you naturally want something or someone to blame.
What helped me was my family, my mum was great she was ther for me on those dark days. I hope you have support around you, someone to listen when you want to talk and someone to hug when you need to cry.
thinking of you x

 

[twinkle458]

Thank you everyone. I am still feeling very down. And whilst i understand the 'medical side' of miscarriage (i'm medically trained), it doesnt take away my total need for another baby.

I feel very blessed to have my happy, healthy 2 year old ds.

Lots of love to you all xxx