So Many techniques, which is right?

[bfpierce4077]

Hi,

I just joined this group. My wife and I have been trying to conceive before it's too late. I will be 41 next month, she will be 38 (we actually have the same birthday )

Because of my age, we have been researching the best and fastest ways to get pregnant. I am also diabetic, which obviously doesn't help. I do take pills, but they are really expensive since my insurance won't cover more than 4 per month.

Anyway, obviously the more we research, the more we find. The thing is, some stuff contradicts the other stuff. In regards to the act of sex, some say have sex every day, some say don't. Some say position matters, some say no. Some say not to have sex if you're not in the mood, some say to do it no matter what during ovulation. And some say that I should let my sperm build up as much as possible, others say that if she's on her period, I should (my apologies for the bluntness) ejaculate by other means to have fresh sperm ready to go when her period ends.

The only thing from above that we are pretty sure makes sense is to not bother having sex if you're not in the mood, especially her. According to what we have read, if she's not in the mood, her hormones will not respond in the way necessary to conceive. We have also read that I should ejaculate first so that when she does, the sperm are already there to be helped along their journey.

I really hope the "I should ejaculate first" thing is wrong because, due to my diabetes, (again apologies for the bluntness) if I can't get my pills, I lose my erection very quickly after orgasm, leaving her a very limited window to have hers.

I can't tell you how demoralizing it is to have to lie next to my wife and help her masturbate to orgasm because I am unable to provide her with one otherwise. I also know how demoralizing it is for her not to be able to stimulate me to a full erection for very long, especially since she has self-esteem issues regarding her body. We both know it's the diabetes. But knowing is one thing. How it makes you feel in your heart is quite another.

I am so sorry if any of this is TMI, but I figured the only way to truly get answers was to provide total honesty and disclosure right from the start.

Any advice anyone here can offer would be greatly appreciated!

In our hearts, we are already parents. We just need to make it a reality!

 

[Libbystepof4]

I'm so sorry you guys aren't already parents. We all know how frustrating it is to keep wanting!
And you happen to have landed yourself in the middle of the capital of TMI! Idk if you've read much on the forums but we all share pretty gross details.
I can only tell you what I've been told. If she's not in the mood, the issue is probably going to be a lack of cervical mucus to help the swimmers get where they're going. Idk if you've heard of a lubricant called Pressed, but it is safe for sperm and many on here swear by it. I've seen some get pregnant soon after starting to use it. If she's ovulating, her hormones are probably doing what they should (or she wouldn't ovulate), and its simply a mechanical issue. Get it done. It's obviously way better if she's in the mood but she WILL NOT get pregnant if you don't have sex when she's ovulating. There is a very short window of time when the egg is eligible for fertilization. Seriously, like 12-36 hours. If you wait a day, you wait a month. Now, if you guys are patient, then great, wait til the stars align. I'm not patient! Lol
I'm 36 and I'm sure you have heard the over 35 statistics. Blah blah. What my doctor said about building up the sperm is that in a healthy man with a normal sperm count, there is no need to try to do that. The point is to get them in there and give them a chance. They can live for a few days in there so if you are religiously set on every other day, it makes little logical sense. They're all still alive and well in there from last time, right. So my doc said, don't worry about that, if you feel like it, then do it!

Idk if any of that was of any help to you, but I wish you much luck!!