So proud of myself!!

[Ash_P]

Well after the ups and downs and the emotions of everything. I took a stand between last nite and today. FOB wanted to go to my MW appointment on friday cause he wanted to hear for himself of the risk of my early labour etc etc. The more and more I thought about it, I just thought why the hell should I let him! He has done nothing in the past 7 months to show any support to LO hasnt been a help to me what so ever. And even tho he was informed of the HIGh risk of baby coming early, he still went and booked a holiday to go away with his new girl next week.

I told him I didnt want him there, that he has been a waste of space and no support to his child. And was more or less an excuse as a father. That he is 31, with a failed marriage under his belt, just been declared bankrupt, and a child on the way that he has failed to stand by.

He said that seeing me scan last week (he took me to hospital for an emergency appointment as I couldnt get up myself due to the pain) made him realise that there was actually a baby in there, and he needed to get prepared!!

So i wrote a very long text back to him telling him exactly what I thought of him and his behaviour lately.. I was calm, mature and I feel handled it very civilally.

I expressed my feelings about how in the 7 months Iv been pregnant, he took me to hospital ONCE. He texts once every 4 weeks asking how the pregnancy is. He has bought nothing for his baby (but yet can afford to take his HO on holiday) and even tho he took me to hospital last week, is yet to send a text and ask how the baby is and if there has been any further problems.
I said that from the day I found out I was pregnant I have made sure that my actions and feelings are based on the best for my child. And that from the day my baby was concieved, he has choosen to put someone else before his own FIRST BORN baby.
That my baby will never miss what it never had, and that as long as it has me, It wont need anyone else in its life. Certainly not him.
And that for the rest of his life, he will have to life with the fact that he didnt care enough to support the Mother of his baby, or show concern for the growing child on my belly.
He failed to reply to that, although replied to every other message.
Whether I hit a cord or not I dont know, but Im glad I finally had the balls to tell him what I think of him and how he has handled this situation.

 

[sweetlullaby]

Go you

I done the exact same thing yesterday....threads about somewhere...though mine started off as a text to FOB bitching about FOB....which wasnt supposed to go to him...though im glad it did because i got everything out in the open and told him exactly what i thought etc Lets hope he either replies or thinks long and hard about his actions....i got replies and a massive headache but am glad its done and feel as if i've got somewhere and am proud that i managed to keep a level head and not lose it completly and tell him where to go!!

Now its just wait and see.....Im waiting to see if FOB's either ALL talk or is going to make an effort and prove he cares. If not...he can go piss up a tree because i wont have him saying he cares etc and not proving that fact! Found out he wasnt even in the country all last week!( When i was 37 weeks pregnant) So much for caring!He also wants a dna test to "prove" he's the father and yet he supposidly cares about LO...who he isnt sure is his??!!I just dont know what they think!

I hope FOB in your case realises his actions and makes one hell of an effort for your LO!! xx

i bet you feel a lot better after it all!!

 

[Ash_P]

Glad u spoke u mind hun, Its liberating in a way I think.
God u wonder at times how we ended up attached to such plonkers.
My FOB normally gives me a complete ear bashing and we would get into a complete text war but for whatever reason he didnt reply to the last one I sent him. Its not like him not to have the last word.
I hope for our LO`s sakes the the FOB`s stand by the kids, and prove us all wrong. But im regards to my situation, I really cant see it happening.

I made sure I reminded FOB that after trying for over 2 years to get this wee thing, he decided to end his marriage, and put his pregnant wife out of the family home so he could move his bitch in.
I really hope that in time it hits them like a tonn of shit the mistakes they have all made.

At least we can always hold our heads high and say we stand up for our responsiblilites, not run away like a frightened child they way they do.

Men are pr*cks! lol

 

[tinkabells]

Well done to the both of you xxx

 

[suzanne108]

Well done Ash!!!

We should stick up for ourselves against these idiots more often. xxx

 

[purpledahlia]

hope hes realising now! xx