So scared about telling my parents!!!

[mummytobe_93]

I am 21 and have a one year old, I was 19 when I got pregnant with her and had a Mc before that pregnancy. My parents have always been very supportive and have never made me feel like a disappointment for getting pregnant so young but I still can't help but feel nervous about telling them for a third time!!
I have a long term partner we have a house and a mortgage and he has a well paid job, I'm a stay at home mum but currently going through interview process to get in to university to get on to a midwifery course (very competitive so no guarantee I'll get in anyway!)

This pregnancy wasn't planned and anyone who knows me knows how determined I am to get in to ink and become a midwife it's all I've been talking about for years!

So how am I going to tell them?! My partners parents were awful when they found out, told us we were ruining our lives and for me to get an abortion etc etc but now they love my daughter and I think they'll be happy about this pregnancy.

Basically, I know that both of our parents will be fine about it but it's just the initial telling them. I hate it. It's so awkward! I really don't want to tell then face too face but don't think a text can justify it

Anyone else?

 

[QueenQueso]

I'm several years older, but in a somewhat similar situation. I'm 29 and currently pregnant with #3. I'm married, we've been living on our own for 6 years (prior to that, I did move back in with my parents after divorcing my oldest child's father) and don't take any help from them or anyone else.

I had my first at 19, my mom told me I should 'have that taken care of' and we didn't speak for several weeks. I ended up marrying his father after he was born, but when he was 2, we divorced. When he was 3, I started dating my now-husband and we ended up moving in together. When my son was 5, I got pregnant (on purpose) with my second and while they didn't outright tell me to get an abortion this time, they (and my maternal grandma) were very negative and told me things like I was being unfair to my son and ruining his life and stuff.

Now my boys are 8(almost 9) and 3 and we're expecting #3 in August. We haven't announced yet, mostly because of my parents. We're waiting until the 12 or 13 week mark to do so, because that's when the risk of mc goes down. Some people want to tell right away, because if anything does happen, they can expect support from their families. But me on the other hand, I can only anticipate them saying hurtful things like 'it was for the best'. So we'll wait until well after viability has been established. (I know things can still go wrong after that point, but things can go wrong at any point in life.)

So while I don't have any helpful advice or anything, I can commiserate with you on unsupportive parents.

 

[emyandpotato]

I am frightened too. I'm 24 (next week), married, we rent a nice apartment and although not well off we're financially independent and don't receive any benefits, and OH's job is secure as any job is at the moment. I'm not established in my career but getting there and this baby won't impede upon that at all. But I had my first young too and have never gotten over the feeling of shame. We tell them tomorrow and I'm so stressed out and upset about it. Doesn't help that last time I saw my mum I was about to say something unrelated and she said "you're not pregnant again are you?" jokingly but it really hurt my feelings.

I'm sure it'll be fine OP. Just think, first time around they didn't know how you'd cope and how your relationship would manage. Now they have seen you raise a child already and probably see you as more of an adult and so will have fewer reservations.

 

[Buffyx]

I'm Sorry that all of you have to feel like this. I can't imagie how it must be. I was exploding to tell my parents because I knew they'd be thrilled.

Hopefully your parents surprise you

 

[babyvaughan]

I was so scared to tell my dad I told him last and I waited 3.5 weeks after everyone else, I finally woke up one morning and said to myself I'm going to get this over with. I love my dad but basically he is an ass he doesn't care if what he says hurts you, and its his way or no way! My fear was him disowning me. My dad loves his puppy grand kids but tells me all the time I dont want any grand kids I always told him with four kids your bound to have some! I'm the first and also the youngest of my siblings to have a child I'm 22. I was also scared that it would ruin his relationship with my fiance. We have been together 5 1/2 years so they are very close. My heart was pounding before I told him my mom was pep talking me and I just said dad 3 weeks ago I found out I'm pregnant. All he said was " You know how I feel, and it is what it is. I left after that and didn't come visit them for a few days so he could process it and think about what he said to me before he said a bunch of hurtful things. I was expecting him to mention abortion or say something really mean but he hasn't said anything. I actually thought he may have forgot until he said my daughter is pregnant on xmas eve! If it helps tell one parent first who you think will be more understanding and then have them be your support to tell the other parent. My mom was upset but supportive the first week after that gloating with excitement. Its seems so scary but they love you and they love your daughter so much they might be shocked or upset at first but they will fall in love with your new child just as they have your daughter! My entire family has now adjusted and are all excited for me, I'm excited to see my parents as grandparents I know they will love it as they are amazing aunts and uncles!

 

[pgfairy]

I was pretty terrified to tell my mom too, and I'm 31, married to a man I've been with over 10 years with a nice house and good incomes and I STILL felt like a 16 year old who'd gotten knocked up.

You can't change how they are going to react at first that's on them. Tell them in whatever way you want to tell them, cos you're the one that has to look back on it and either say 'I'm glad I did that' or 'I wish I'd done it differently' and after that it's out of your hands so breath deep and dive in.

Good luck.

 

[MNgirl1991]

I was super nervous to tell my parents too. Not for a really good reason. I've always had a very close and wonderful relationship with both of them. But after I dropped out of college because I didnt know what I wanted to do with my life yet, I have been struggling financially working retail. Got married in August and although my hubby makes decent money in the Army, we still struggle a bit because I'm looking for a new job in a new state. So when we found out we were pregnant, I was SO nervous that my mom and his parents were going to lecture us about how we should have waited till one of us was done with school or we both had good jobs, but it is what it is and both my parents and my in-laws were very excited and happy to hear the news.
So maybe they will surprise you. I hope so!
GL!

 

[Puppylove52]

I was scared to death to tell my fil. He has not really been a huge fan of me in the 3 years we have been together. I had dh tell him without me to get the negative comments out of the way. Surprisingly, he didn't have any! He was excited! It's hard not to be a little happy for an amazing gift and blessing like a baby...

 

[Miss_BB]

I was in tears this morning to my mum, telling her the news and absolutely not wanting my dad to be disappointed about it. I'm 36 and have a 3yr old son, married with a secure income... But I was crapping my pants!

I think its natural to be worried hun xx

 

[mum140381]

im 33 been married 16 years and was dreading telling my parents that i was preg with number 7 but i had a nice surprise and they where thrilled x

 

[ellahopesky]

good luck! I've only told my mum so far, I'm going to make her tell my stepdad i won't tell my biological dad until we have our first scan, i know he's going to be very disappointed, despite the fact I'm 23, have my own place and I'm married with kids already!

 

[smileyfaces]

I never told my dad in either of my pregnancies, I was too scared lol. I made my step mum tell him each time. Its scary!!