**So scared of the journey AGAIN**

[Early_Bump]

Well im 13wks tomoro but ive seen consultant this last week, after discussions back in jan it was agreed that we could have one last attempt at a term baby but this meeting didnt go well this week they had said in jan that a stitch could be the answer to my problems.... but this week they have gone back on it and said no its not the right treatment as my cervix doesnt dialate it just shortens and funnels then my waters go... and a stitch cant prevent my waters going it would just go round the stitch.

Im totally devistated and feeling quite lost...

I mean ive done it 7 times so far and lost 2 along the way...

33wks
22wks
28wks SPROM @ 28wks
27wks SPROM @ 26wks
25+6wks SPROM @18wks
24+3wks SPROM @18+wks
25+5wks SPROM @ 18+wks

I was praying we'd get to experince the whole term baby just once but i now feel like its been taken away from me AGAIN, My goal before this news was 36wks, but now ive been told 28wks would be a realistic goal and thats if im lucky....

All they can offer me is swabs at 17wks to make sure of no infections and give me antibiotics just in case, but we also went over the last 3 pregnancie notes and thier was no sign of infection when waters went even on days they went and bloods were done and swabs they were all clear... so i dont think thats the problem, my cervix shortens then funnels then they go, but after they've gone i dont dilate.

After my 24+3 weeker who died at 5hrs 8mins i was told i had hughs syndrom adn needed heprin dont get me wrong when i was pregnant with my last one it made me laods better i normally bleed alot i didnt bleed at all but my waters still went and she still came super early...

I have a scan tomoro for cervix but i know this one will be ok generally the changes dont take place til around 17wks.... Got my gender scan at 14+4. Im being scanned every other week at my nhs hospital but im having private scans every 4 wks so basicly thier only one week were i have a 2 wk wait if that makes sense. BUt in last 3 pregnancies ive been scanned weekly from 18 anyway to monitor fluid levels...

Sorry to go but i just needed to get that all out of my head....on a good note my last section ive had 6 so far as a classical and my consultant has said thier was no reason for that and she's happy to do lower segment thatnk god recovery was a nightmare.

Hardest part im 13wks tomoro so im halfway in every sinse of the owrd so hard to take in... i havnt bought a single thing cos i honestly have this gut feeling this is all going to go wrong and we may not come home with our baby ;(

 

[Wobbles]

Just wanted to give you a

x x

Lots of luck that LO stays snug as long as possible x

 

[Mumof42009]

I would push to see someone else and see if there is anything else they can do for you hun, im scared as well of giving birth pre-term and im only a week away from when had dd2 sending you hugs xx

 

[lauraperrysan]

massive for you xxx

 

[nkbapbt]

I didn't want to read and run...but I really dont know what to say. Which sucks since I have been there once too. Only once..I can't imagine seven times, you are one strong lady!!! You can get through this, you are not alone! Even when you feel you are, you have all of us pushing for you and your LO to stay in there for as long as possible.

*hugs*