so scared

[aebnygds]

Hi ladies,
I am so scared I'm 10 weeks and 2 days. I cry everyday for fear of another loss. I was so happy to see the heartbeat but I know so much can happen. I'm trying my best to enjoy my pregnancy but I can't. I inspect the toilet every time after I go. I stare at the toilet paper for the faintest red streak (sorry tmi) I'm driving my self and husband nuts. I am constantly praying. I just want to enjoy my pregnancy. I haven't told anyone yet and its killing me. I just don't want to go back and have to explain again that unthinkable has happened. I know at this point some early symptoms start to fade but I wish they would stay just so I could feel better. I'm a nervous Nellie to say the least. Thanks for reading my long post. I don't have much of a support group so hopefully I can find that here.

Happy and healthy 9 months to all. F/X for everyone

 

[Mizze]

Oh sweetheart - I know its hard, it really is but you arent too far away from your 12 week scan now. I know its really really difficult but a Positive Mental Attitude does help. Stress is no good for you and we all have to accept we cant change the outcome of this - all the stress does is make our lives harder during a difficult period.

You say you know so much can happen but after seeing the HB the chances of anything actually happening have reduced greatly so try to focus on that. The chances of a healthy pregnancy are much higher than the changes of a miscarriage or problem.

Checking for blood is completely normal behaviour for a woman who has had a loss - in fact from my experience in the 1st tri section its fairly normal whether you are PAL or not. I still check mine - every single time, its too ingrained now not too. BUT all you accomplish with being constantly terrified is to stress yourself out, for your own sanity you need to find a way past that.

For me a stress counsellor helped A LOT - you say you pray everyday, do you have a chuch leader/vicar etc you can speak to? If not then id recommend a stress counsellor, im seeing mine this morning and im really looking forward to it because I have been struggling this last week and need the support.

Hope this is a sticky bean for you

Mizze xx

 

[aebnygds]

Thank you Mizze. I started looking into a counsler last week. I am trying so hard to take it easy. But it just feels like if I let go I will not be prepared when/if the worst happens. I know I shouldn't expect it. Unfortunately the last loss was a very bad one. I'm just hugging my son and hoping and praying for the best. Thank you so much for your reply. I am gonna work on that counseling. I think that going to be the best bet for me.

 

[Mizze]

great idea getting hugs from your son

I had a great session with my counsellor today (and im feeling goood - Nina Simone stylee)- thoroughly recommend it.

Mizze xx

 

[aebnygds]

at around 930am I started cramping and bleeding. Cant see dr until 3pm. I cant believe this is happening to me again.

 

[Mizze]

Oh hon - is everything okay?

Mizze

 

[Tulip]

I hope everything is OK sweetheart - please let us know. Thinking of you xxx

 

[hb1]

Hoping and praying all is well Hope you have good news from the dr.

take care

hx

 

[aebnygds]

Thanks for all the kind words. Little flicker is still going strong. I saw the heartbeat and the baby is measuring right on date. I'm on bed rest for a week now. And I'm taking that as I should. Happily! I have told everyone I don't want to be stressed by holding on to this huge secret. You guys are so supportive. I think I have found a home in PAL.

 

[Tulip]

Welcome to the team So pleased little one is OK xx

 

[Mizze]

Thanks for all the kind words. Little flicker is still going strong. I saw the heartbeat and the baby is measuring right on date. I'm on bed rest for a week now. And I'm taking that as I should. Happily! I have told everyone I don't want to be stressed by holding on to this huge secret. You guys are so supportive. I think I have found a home in PAL.

Hurray!!

You had us all worried there for a while hon!



Mizze xx

 

[Beanbabe]

I so glad everything is ok hun. great news.

 

[aebnygds]

Thank you guys. I went for another u/s yesterday. I heard the heartbeat! I cried. I'm so happy. This bed rest is so hard especially with a 2 year old. But my husband and sister help a lot. I'm ok with it. I have a stack of book and movies and fruit. I hope everyone is doing well.

 

[Beanbabe]

Thank you guys. I went for another u/s yesterday. I heard the heartbeat! I cried. I'm so happy. This bed rest is so hard especially with a 2 year old. But my husband and sister help a lot. I'm ok with it. I have a stack of book and movies and fruit. I hope everyone is doing well.

thats wonderfull. how much longer are you on bed rest. I can imagine its very difficult but its so important.

 

[kmac1975]

thank goodness ur little one is ok. Bed rest is a pain but it will all be worth it in the end. We all check our paper in the loo everytime we go, its a habit for everyone who has suffered a loss, still checking mine now. I'll prob keep on checking forever now! is that barmy? oh well, all these strange habits are perfectly natural I'm sure. I wish u all the best for the rest of your pregnancy, Karen

 

[aebnygds]

@Beanbabe until next tuesday. Thank goodness its already saturday. But the dr said I get one down the stairs and up the stairs a day. So I make for about 5 hrs until I need to use the bathroom. Eitherway its ok with me.