petite ping
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OH is travelling a lot and has a big project in the middle east so he is spending a lot of time there. At the moment the rythm is 2.5 weeks out and 4-7 days at home before he leaves again. When he's here his work is like a third person in our marriage - constantly calling on his days off, at night, on the weekend. The project has a lot of problems and my OH is unfortunately seen as the man to sort it out - so he is under quite a bit of pressure. It's been like this since Xmas - I've seen my OH 5 weeks in total since then. Other times he comes home because I travel for work too (I work in export) so when he come home I leave. I don't see any end of this before the end of the year. OH has always travelled but not as much (may be a week out then 2 weeks at home and then long periods at home)
I asked to work from home when DD2 arrived because it would have been impossible to organise my home life and my professional life with OH travelling - my work place is a 1.5 - 2 hours from home. Whilst it's great for the girls, it's incredibly lonely and isolating. I feel chained to my PC. My boss has asked me for a full reporting on how I spend my days (something he doesn't ask from anyone else - even the others that work home office) and is constantly pressuring me to travel more which I can't because there is no-one to take care of the kids. With my OH out - sometimes I can spend weeks without adult company. OH calls me every night and he makes an effort to listen to me because he knows I'm alone but it's no longer enough.
My nanny has imposed her 4 weeks of summer holidays mi july to mid august. I have a business trip the last two weeks of july - thanks to my boss and my OH has just announced that there is a good chance he will have to travel beginning of August. So no summer hols with my OH. Great! I can't even motivate myself to book any thing.
My in laws were meant to come over a week or so ago to see the girls over a long weekend. It was a visit that was organised in february because we weren't able to meet up at Easter (that is another long story). My relationship with my MIL is strange - not conflictual but we are just not easy together - but I was looking forward to seeing them - some adult company after all - and had planned the whole weekend around them. The week before I call them to ask them when they were planning to arrive. There was a long moment of silence - and she said that she would call me later as she was going away on the weekend. I thought "crap she forgot". But I thought it was a bit strange as 1. she never forgets anything 2. we had talked about it around easter. The day before the long weekend I call them again - no one picked up. I spent the whole evening trying to reach them and finally they picked up at 9pm and told me sheepishly that they were not coming because of "ASPARAGUS"!!!!!!!.
It's the asparagus season apparently and the local producer of asparagus announced that they were ready so my in laws felt it was more important to spend the weekend canning than with their grand kids. They haven't seen DDs since november. I was too speechless to say anything. It's silly but I spent the night crying. I felt so much more alone. They could have just said they didn't want to come - it would have been less insulting. They could have warned me much much earlier so I could have arranged to visit friends - normally everyone fills up their long weekends pretty early. I don't know why I expected them to come. They never came when I asked them for help implicitly and explicitly - they refused to come and help after DD1's birth and DD2's birth because of runner beans and to visit us because of tomatoes.
My parents have never come and will never come. My friends are far away. I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick of having to rely on myself. I'm sick of putting on a bright face for my warring and worried toddlers I'm sick of my OH coming and going. I'm worried all the time as he's working in a dangerous part of the world. I'm sick of his work. I'm sick of my work and my new boss who's sole purpose in life seems to be adding to my work load. I'm sick of feeling like I'm in a prison from 9-6. If it weren't for my kids I'd spend the whole day hiding under my duvet. I thought I was braver.
Sorry for the long post - but this has been building up for some time.
I asked to work from home when DD2 arrived because it would have been impossible to organise my home life and my professional life with OH travelling - my work place is a 1.5 - 2 hours from home. Whilst it's great for the girls, it's incredibly lonely and isolating. I feel chained to my PC. My boss has asked me for a full reporting on how I spend my days (something he doesn't ask from anyone else - even the others that work home office) and is constantly pressuring me to travel more which I can't because there is no-one to take care of the kids. With my OH out - sometimes I can spend weeks without adult company. OH calls me every night and he makes an effort to listen to me because he knows I'm alone but it's no longer enough.
My nanny has imposed her 4 weeks of summer holidays mi july to mid august. I have a business trip the last two weeks of july - thanks to my boss and my OH has just announced that there is a good chance he will have to travel beginning of August. So no summer hols with my OH. Great! I can't even motivate myself to book any thing.
My in laws were meant to come over a week or so ago to see the girls over a long weekend. It was a visit that was organised in february because we weren't able to meet up at Easter (that is another long story). My relationship with my MIL is strange - not conflictual but we are just not easy together - but I was looking forward to seeing them - some adult company after all - and had planned the whole weekend around them. The week before I call them to ask them when they were planning to arrive. There was a long moment of silence - and she said that she would call me later as she was going away on the weekend. I thought "crap she forgot". But I thought it was a bit strange as 1. she never forgets anything 2. we had talked about it around easter. The day before the long weekend I call them again - no one picked up. I spent the whole evening trying to reach them and finally they picked up at 9pm and told me sheepishly that they were not coming because of "ASPARAGUS"!!!!!!!.
It's the asparagus season apparently and the local producer of asparagus announced that they were ready so my in laws felt it was more important to spend the weekend canning than with their grand kids. They haven't seen DDs since november. I was too speechless to say anything. It's silly but I spent the night crying. I felt so much more alone. They could have just said they didn't want to come - it would have been less insulting. They could have warned me much much earlier so I could have arranged to visit friends - normally everyone fills up their long weekends pretty early. I don't know why I expected them to come. They never came when I asked them for help implicitly and explicitly - they refused to come and help after DD1's birth and DD2's birth because of runner beans and to visit us because of tomatoes.
My parents have never come and will never come. My friends are far away. I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick of having to rely on myself. I'm sick of putting on a bright face for my warring and worried toddlers I'm sick of my OH coming and going. I'm worried all the time as he's working in a dangerous part of the world. I'm sick of his work. I'm sick of my work and my new boss who's sole purpose in life seems to be adding to my work load. I'm sick of feeling like I'm in a prison from 9-6. If it weren't for my kids I'd spend the whole day hiding under my duvet. I thought I was braver.
Sorry for the long post - but this has been building up for some time.