So upset today

[Dezireey]

CSA called me this morning. My horrible ex has responded to their letter. He is now denying that he is my son's father. I am just sat here crying again. How low can he go?. I am being made to feel like the bad guy for asking for child support. Just because he barely has any money, is that my fault? I think he thinks I am the lowest person because I am asking him for money for his child when he doesn't have the money. He knows how to play the system, I am sure of it. I told the lady on the phone that I have no problem with DNA testing but warned her that he was playing the game and he is doing this for a reason.

What is wrong with him? he will end up paying them money now, money he doesn't have because he is saying he is not the father. She asked if there was a chance he was not the dad, I said 'Unless I am the bloody virgin mary, yes, he is the father'

 

[babycrazy1706]

just when you thought it was sorted aswell !!

urghhhhhh!!! there is just not a horrible enough word to describe men like this!!

so what happens now? does he have to pay for the DNA test to 'supposedly' prove he's not the father. does he not realise it will prove him wrong?

i hope they do the test in a controlled environment so no one elses DNA can be used to con them!!!!

you will get there soon hun, its a long battle and he's putting up lots of hurdles for you but stay positive, you will get him in the end!!!! Xx

 

[Dezireey]

He goes to a Doctor's office with his passport, pictures etc. They do a swab in his mouth in a controlled environment i.e making sure there is no way he can contaminate anything, then that gets tested against a swab from both myself and LO after he has done his (no point me and LO going there if he doesn't turn up, so they wait first for him to do it). CSA pay for this and in the meantime (which is a relief, someone told me today) they continue with the premise that he is the father and they carry on with what they are doing (in this case a deduction of earnings order). If a DNA test comes back as a man not being the Dad, then CSA re-imburse him any maintenance he has paid and he does not have to pay for the DNA test. The mother then ends up paying for it (I think), because obviously she has wasted everyones time, if he is not the Dad. In my case, my stupid ex is going to look a fool, as he is definitely the father of my child, so the dufus will then have to fork out something like £100+ for the test and then also have to pay maintenance.

Oh well, let him, doesn't change reality, he still has to pay. Perhaps if he hadn't lied through his teeth and also listened to me when I asked him to come to a mutual, amicable arrangement, he wouldn't be in this mess.

I hope some of the stuff I have said on here about CSA helps some other mums?

 

[Ceejay123]

To be fair Honey, more fool him. He knows hes the dad hes trying to wind you up! He'll end up paying for the DNA test, so it'll all backfire on him. Just sit and laugh, he won't get what he wants. x

 

[babycrazy1706]

Oh that's good! He's such a prat! Glad the CSA are carrying on as normal with your claim! Xx

 

[KayBea]

At the end of the day hes going to have to pay for that test so dont worry you will get the money he owes you!! xx

 

[Dream.dream]

He's just stalling. Men are stupid and just don't want to own up to their responsibilities . You know that he's the father so screw him. He'll look like an idiot in the end

 

[xxsteffyxx]

I'm suprised my ex hasn't pulled this one yet, but then again he is going for access at the moment so I guess he doesn't want to jepordise looking like a fool in front of the judge.

The CSA have to do what they have to do... I feel sorry for them. Because to be honest hun they probably know he is lying because why has he sudden perked up now accusing you of cheating and him not being the father?? So they'll do what they have to do to please him and then basically shove it back in his face. He'll always be backdated on his payments and HE WILL have to pay for the DNA. Especially if he is working...

 

[BabySeal]

Don't let it worry you the only one who will look ridiculous is him. My LO's father denied he was the father when CS was addressed so when I scheduled the CS appointment I said yes to a DNA test. (They ask everyone here)

He had to go down and get swabbed, and guess what? No more questions about paternity.

Getting the results back will make him feel as small as an ant! So try not to let it stress you.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

That must be so hurtful. I was half expecting this when I left FOB, I'd have just crumpled if he'd tried it. It really boils my blood to see parents denying their children - especially to get out of providing for them, it's repulsive
Hope he complies with the testing for you and it all goes smoothly.

 

[Dezireey]

He has now backed out of the DNA testing! Oh what a surprise.

I reckon they must have told him how much it would cost him if it came back as being positive. He was obviously trying to avoid paying. I have a missed call from him aswell but I have ignored it. He causes me far too much stress and I don't need that anymore.

I don't care how broke he is or how much he can't cope with kids. Saying he is not the father of his child to avoid child support is low and that also implies I was cheating on him, which is also low......considering how much of a bloody liar he was.

Karma......that's all I have to say

 

[babycrazy1706]

Oh well he's given them the answer already then hasn't he!! Karma for sure!! Xx

 

[xxsteffyxx]

I had a phone call today from them stating that they still don't know what he is doing as he claimed he made a claim for benefit later March and according to him (April end of) he is still waiting for an answer... BS!!!!

They're now checking the lead I gave them for a job he may have that he said in court and if not it's off to revenues again to find out what's been going on...

MEN!!!

 

[Dream.dream]

He has now backed out of the DNA testing! Oh what a surprise.

I reckon they must have told him how much it would cost him if it came back as being positive. He was obviously trying to avoid paying. I have a missed call from him aswell but I have ignored it. He causes me far too much stress and I don't need that anymore.

I don't care how broke he is or how much he can't cope with kids. Saying he is not the father of his child to avoid child support is low and that also implies I was cheating on him, which is also low......considering how much of a bloody liar he was.

Karma......that's all I have to say

When my sons dad pulled this I felt the same way . It's like a double slap in the face them denying there child and saying that you cheated . It's just rude

 

[babycrazy1706]

Anymore news dezireey? How are you feeling now? Hope you're doing ok Xx

 

[Dezireey]

I'm better thanks hun. I have good days and bad days. The good days are always about my son and the future and just the pure joy he gives me. The bad days are being angry with myself for still loving someone who has done so many cruel things to me. I know many people feel the same but gosh, don't you wish there was some magic potion you could drink which made you completely disregard anyone who treats you like crappy doo daa?

I admire people who switch their emotions straight off whenever someone treats them badly!

As for CSA no word yet, they are just getting the ball rolling with taking it out of his wages now.

 

[babycrazy1706]

That's me. I have no feelings for ex WHATSOEVER!! I just got sick of his shit. I'm so over it.
You will be able to shut off soon too.
Keep thinking of your beautiful son and have lots of happy days!! Hugs Xx

 

[babycrazy1706]

dezireey, how r u hun?

any more news from csa?
has fob been in contact?
how's LO?
Xx

 

[Dezireey]

Hi sweetie

Getting first payment this month, so fingers crossed. LO is fine and is turning out to be a lovely little person and he giggles at anything!

FOB text me about a week ago to say he was homeless and it was my fault? can't understand what the hell he was talking about and he even implied that someone from CSA had gone round to where he lived and spoke to his landlord? He is just bonkers crazy, truly. Highly unlikely CSA sent someone to where he lives and even if CSA were there, what landlord chucks someone out of their property for that reason?.

I have given up trying to even understand the man and the way he communicates. I feel at ease and happy now that he is not a part of our lives.

 

[babycrazy1706]

your fault ??!!!!

glad you and LO are doing well and hooray for the first payment!!!

onwards and upwards from here!!!