Someone tell me i'm not being stupid, please!

[Katia-xO]

This may become a rant lol sorry in advance. Well, i have a year left at college to complete 5 A Levels and want to get that done with, then maybe (just maybe) go to Uni and do an accounting degree.

My OH wants me to get a job this year and not go back to college so that we can afford to move out. My argument for not doing what he wants is that there aren't many jobs available atm and if i was lucky enough to find one, i'd probably only be on minimum wage. I do NOT want to be working in low paid jobs all of my life! I'd rather spend the extra year or so getting qualified so i can just start jobs on a higher salary.

His argument for me getting a job is so that we'd have a dual income. I understand this 'cos i wouldn't want to move in with him properly if i'm not contributing to the house or anything. He dropped out of college at 17, he's now 20 and is earning £12k a year as an accountant. In my opinion, he just got lucky tbh! If i go to Uni and do accounting, if i started the same job under the same description as him i'd be starting on at least £18k! He wants me to find a trainee job like he started off on, then work my way up within the company. Everywhere i've looked, no-one is taking trainee's on, they're looking for already qualified people.

Anyone think i'm being completely horrible to him by wanting to stick to my life plan? He's acting like i don't want to be with him!

 

[Mrs Poppy]

Hi hun. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all- you have a plan that will ultimately enable you to earn more money which will benefit him as well. I think you need to go with your original plan xxx

 

[pinklizzy]

I don't think you are being unreasonable either, Mrs Poppy is right, your plan will put you in a better position in the long-term, especially in the current job market.

 

[Katia-xO]

Exactly, if i do decide to go to uni i'll be studying for another 3 years. By the time i'm done, the whole economy should have started to pick up and i'll be much better off for having waited rather than stacked shelves for 3 years. Thank you both SO much! x

 

[Amygdala]

Is there any chance he might not want you to go to college because then you'll be "wearing the pants" financially? I really can't see any good reason why he wouldn't want you to go. Yeah, it'll take longer till you can live together. But you'll be set up for life! I find it more than dodgy that your partner is actually asking you to not get a qualification. He should support you in your decisions and in taking your education (and career) as far as you want it to go.
Don't let him hold you back! You're young and (though I know you won't want to admit that to yourself) he might not be forever. But getting a qualification is SO much easier for you now than it will be in a few years time. Please don't give up on your plans for his sake, you're more than likely to regret that one day, even if you two do stay together.
Good luck!

 

[missobrien]

hi! just my two pence worth!
i dropped out of my A levels After the first year, and i was pressured in to it a bit (my mother was very ill and needed looking after.) i was told it would be ok and i could work my way up blar blar blar. and guess what......after three years i had to go back to college and study to be able to work my way up in the career i have chosen. so now at 22 i have just in july completd my A level equiverlant national diploma.

i dont mean to sound harsh but.....i was told it would be ok, id work my way up on experience but unfortunatly you have to be very lucky to do it with no qualifications. you need that piece of paper. if you manage to get on a training programme then great!!

id say stay where you are. its only one more year, and if you want to do a degree you can do it part time and work as well. so you can contribute to the ous and bills thats what im plannng on doing in september.

just to echo what others have said,i find it a bit strange that your OH doesnt want you to get your qualification. mine has supported me through my education and will also help as much as he can with my degree....he wants me to be qualified and not have the bits of paper to enable me to sucseed!

please please finish your A levels i really regret not staying to finish ine and spending 3 years working my butt of for nothing and having to go back.

xx

 

[shambaby]

someone once told me you will always regret something you don't do far more than you'll ever regret something you do. wise words indeed!

i really think you should stick to your plan - it's very short sighted to say you should give up on your education in order to start earning now - if you get qualified you'll earn more in the long run and what's more you'll hopefully be happier and more fulfilled in what you do, knowing that you worked so hard for it.

good luck, hope you OH comes around to the idea (i too was wondering if he might not like the idea of you earning more than him?)

 

[lozzy21]

Id stay at colage and get the qualification and go to uni and get that degree. There arnt enough job's around for everyone at the moment so why would you possibly make your self unimployed. Once at uni you may qualify for a bursary to help with housing costs. As the girls have said, no partner may be there for every but a qualification is.

 

[morri]

I think the chances are much better if you do what you want to do. Not everybody has the mind ir determination to crawl up from a minimum age job to a well paid job. Rather have more qualifications before you start hats always better.

 

[Katia-xO]

I've said that to him about us not being together in the future, that i'd be completely resentful of him pressurising me into dropping out. Well it all came to a head last night, i cried, he refused to talk it through and i ended it :/ that soon got him talking!

He told me that he wants me to do what i truly want, just not to whinge when i have no money. The only issue he had with me staying at college was my whinging apparantly lol.. So i made him promise that he'd talk about issues with me and now we're ok .

Don't get me wrong, i am eager to get out there NOW and make some money, but i don't want to waste a few years now just to go back to college again when i'm older. I'd rather get it out of the way and then it's always there on my CV no matter what i do.

To be honest, i do think that the money is a big part of his waryness.. When i'm 22 and fully qualified, i'll be earning almost twice what he is on now.

Thank you all for your replies, it gave me the strength to get it all got sorted! x

 

[shambaby]

yay, glad you managed to talk it through and get him to understand your point of view. good luck with your studies x

 

[Katia-xO]

Thanks! x

 

[lovehearts]

Im glad you managed to talk things through and sort it out. I too am an accountant Never made chartered though - still in a well paid job with the qualifications i have got and i have worked hard for them. My OH was in a very low paid job when i met him - he saw my determination to make something of myself and he now earns over a third more than me and is a fully qualified gas man!!!
Has your OH thought of going back to college to speed up his qualifications?

 

[toffee87]

I do agree with you, however, take the debt into consideration. £3,000 a year fee's and £3-4,000 a year on loans....

 

[bunnyg82]

I think if you want to get that qualification then you'd only regret not doing it now. You have to do what you feel right and in the long run, surely it's better to get that qualification to better your chances for your career. I am glad you have talked it through and your OH understands x