Something I thought I would never see...

[Laura2919]

FOB dropped the girls back today and we had a chat.

I said that if he really thought his girlfriend and him are something then I would be ok with her meeting the girls. They have been seeing each other for 3 months and officially together for 2 months, as much as I want to pretend that its not long enough there never is going to be a right time. Its always going to hurt me and its always going to feel really sad but at the end of the day as long as she knows she isnt their mum and that FOB, myself and his family are the only ones who are going to be the authority in their lives I am happy as I can be.

I feel like I have reached a point where if I dont forgive him I will never move on with my life. I cant keep holding onto the anger and the stress as its not going to be any good in my personal life.

I am hoping this change sees the start of something new for me also, just being able to be me without the need to wonder where our next fight or argument is going to be.

I told him we spent 6 years together all for this. To sit here and wonder what problem is going to come next. I really dont want that.

I hope maybe we can be on good terms where if I needed him to babysit he would.

We have agreed that he still only takes Chloe and Jaycee to his mums house and that his girlfriend sees them there and not at hers. Im not ready for that yet.

Anyway just an update. Feeling a lot more positive, maybe that means better things are to come in 2012..

When he left he said he was going to go home and speak to her about them meeting for the first time. She is spending Christmas with them and she was going to come round once they have left so I said if she is ok with it just get her to come when you collect them next Friday.

 

[MummyJade]

I replied to you in SG....

do you know the girl? do you expect her to say hi so you know who is with the girls?

I would hope when the time came for me, the girl would say hi im so and so. Just cos if she is being with my child i would expect her to be polite enough to introduce herself..

I would expect the same of a future partner too if he came to meet Maizie...

Maybe thats odd!? lol!

x

 

[Laura2919]

I replied to you in SG....

do you know the girl? do you expect her to say hi so you know who is with the girls?

I would hope when the time came for me, the girl would say hi im so and so. Just cos if she is being with my child i would expect her to be polite enough to introduce herself..

I would expect the same of a future partner too if he came to meet Maizie...

Maybe thats odd!? lol!

x

Yeah I said if she was ready to meet them (and I fully understand if she is not as its a big thing) then I'd be happy for her to meet them but if and when it does happen she would have to come here with him to collect the girls.

He has them next Friday as you know so I said if she wanted to you could both come and collect them together and then I could meet her and she could meet me (FOB's told her I am a troll and the wicked witch of the west ) and see that I am not evil lol..

She is probably really worried about it cos FOB has probably exaggerated our arguments to the maximum lol.. She'll probably turn up in a bullet proof vest and a helmet on..

Now that would be funny.... FOB's mum doesnt agree with my choice but said she will make it the best as she can. She thinks its all too soon but I am sick of wondering when its gonna be and whats the point when I can control this situation and make it the best. I chose this opportunity because his mum, dad and sister will be there so the girls will be in a comfortable situation

 

[MummyJade]

Bullet proof Vest! that has cheered me right up!! If she does please get a picture!

Yeah they totally make you out to be the worse person ever and you abused them for the whole relationship... fed them on bread and water in a corner!

Yeah i see what you mean by having the extra family members there, They will probs not take much notice and think she is auntie's friend...

You never know she might not be ready to meet the girls, and tells him no.... Also with her coming to collect the girls you can see her and the girls reaction to each other and if its not how you like, you can stop it... x

 

[Laura2919]

its true though he even said standing in my living room she thinks I am a bitch lol.. Well that might well be true but I doubt you have made that easy! Lol.

I feel so much better just coming to that decision myself and not having it taken away, feel like I have some control over it. Makes me feel loads better.

As for the bullet proof vest she would need it cos FOB would be hiding behind her, he is a wimp, dont stand up for nothing lol apart from arguing with me. she would be protecting him...

Yeah I just kind of want to say Hi I am Laura, the wicked witch of the west, this is Chloe and Jaycee MY children, your Rachael and a friend of theirs, you dont involve yourself when they are naughty they have a dad, a nanny, a grandad and an aunty to tell them off. Your their friend for now. Nice to meet you by the way....

Haha! I'm not a rude person, I was speaking the twins Godmother who seperated from her sons dad and when she met her partner he had a daughter the same age as her son and the daughters mum wanted to meet her. She said at first she was like no but then she thought if it was me I would want to do that too. I think she is right.

 

[MummyJade]

I love how they are all mouth on phone etc but to your face there nice as pie, FOB is the same....

Once we was on phone having a row and he went 'Oh f*ck off' and hung up... then 2 mins later he rang back and said 'Do you really think i was talking to you, i was speaking to my mate Alex'... he doesn't even have a mate Alex! and he was at his mums own cos he told me 3 mins before that!

Yeah i would expect her to say hi, this is who i am...
I wouldn't like it, but i think thats cos FOB is so in and out of Maizies life i wouldn't want her confused more with a random woman there... When he was with ex i told him and her (she seem to think it was ok to answer his mobile and me i had to talk to her about my daughter instead of FOB!! Yeah alright love, i think the words 'I will not talk to his latest Skank so tell him to grow a pair and call me back'!) That she is to have nothing to do with my daughter until he has a solid stable relationship with Maizie 1st!!

(sorry bit of a moan there)
x

 

[Laura2919]

I love how they are all mouth on phone etc but to your face there nice as pie, FOB is the same....

Once we was on phone having a row and he went 'Oh f*ck off' and hung up... then 2 mins later he rang back and said 'Do you really think i was talking to you, i was speaking to my mate Alex'... he doesn't even have a mate Alex! and he was at his mums own cos he told me 3 mins before that!

Yeah i would expect her to say hi, this is who i am...
I wouldn't like it, but i think thats cos FOB is so in and out of Maizies life i wouldn't want her confused more with a random woman there... When he was with ex i told him and her (she seem to think it was ok to answer his mobile and me i had to talk to her about my daughter instead of FOB!! Yeah alright love, i think the words 'I will not talk to his latest Skank so tell him to grow a pair and call me back'!) That she is to have nothing to do with my daughter until he has a solid stable relationship with Maizie 1st!!

(sorry bit of a moan there)
x

OMG I would of said 'since when did he hire you as his secretary? Seriously, pass the phone over you tool'
I made that clear when he got with her that whatever, whenever down the line we needed to talk about Chloe and Jaycee it would be between us, money, their general well being, their schooling anything would be between me and him and no partners.
@ at him pretending he was talking to someone else.. Durr! How thick.

FOB is in the girls lives so is pretty good, he never misses his weekend or his day during the week. He never bails on them (still think thats hugely to do with his mum)
I've said to FOB that if she is ready to meet the girls its all at his mums for a little bit until they are comfortable around her and for now she is not to have them alone until they are comfortable with her being there.