Something to remember

[Natsby]

I often feel after coming on here that ttc is a hard slog with little reward and everyone is suffering through it. But it is important to remember that most of us came on here because we had problems and needed support, I am sure there are thousands of over 35s who get pregnant first cycle, without hitch, and go full term. I am not trying to make you all feel bad or jealous, just the opposite, if we can support each other but still bare in mind that success stories are possible and happening all the time, then we may feel less stressed and more confident that that will happen for us too
.
I am always seeing older mums with babys so it is possible and the fact that the media kicks up such a stink about it means it is happening everywhere, we are not alone and we are not without masses of hope. Now ladies take a deep breath, relax those shoulders and lets get some BFP for June!

 

[dachsundmom]

My DH said something to me the other night that really hit home...when I mentioned age and not knowing how much time we had left to do this, he said no one knows how much time they have left to do anything. If you get hit by a bus tomorrow, are you going to say "thank God I didn't have that glass of wine, lol"- I got so angry thinking to myself that he just didn't get it.

I think he might be the one who gets it! He also said that as much as we women complain about men not getting how hard TTC is, women don't get that men gauge our mood by ours- if I wake up happy, he knows he's going to have a good day, when I wake up moody, he knows he won't be able to win with me, lol.

 

[sarahincanada]

its very true. When I finally get my BFP I will be ecstatic but also worried....Ive read so much about MC and complications on here that it has skewed my vision of pregnancy. But we have to realize many people who are having troubles join message boards, not the general population as a whole.

I truly believe that a BFP is possible for all of us, it might just take some time. It can take a young healthy couple 1 year, so it could just take us longer. When I met my FS she said a year TTC at age 38 is normal, she would be more concerned if I was younger and it still hadnt happened.

 

[NorthStar]

All very true, I joined because I have no one to talk about this TTC stuff to except my OH, as all my friends have kids already (sign of me being a late starter I guess)

The one girlfriend that I thought would be a bit more approachable about this stuff (had her first at 37) was all doom and gloom about the whole thing to be honest, she had major fertility issues though I think they were not so much related to her age, more that her mum had taken this drug called DEET back in the day.

Anyway I'm glad I met you all, at least we can support each other through this mental process.

And I'm not reading anymore articles about how 35+ women are high risk blad de blah de blah, they just upset me

 

[Macwooly]

I joined the site just as I came off my BC as I wanted people I could talk to about TTC as DH & I aren't telling anyone we're trying and I find the ladies in the over 35 section truly inspirational and to be honest I usually leave the site feeling more positive about TTC.

I must admit when I read the statistics and hear the media bang on about TTC over 35 I have always thought "yeah yeah" as we're all different and our TTC journeys and pregnancy journeys will all be different.

My mottos for life has always been:
"Today is called the present because it is a gift from God so live every moment of it in case it is your last"
and:
"There is tremedous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all things you have that money cant buy."

They are both sayings which I came across just after my darling dad died (I am unsure who the authors were) but they both struck a cord with me and I try to remember them every day.

I desperately hope to see every one of you get your BFPs and I pray they will all be sticky and in the meantime I hope I can offer the right words when needed or support when needed the way you fabulous ladies are able to do for me

 

[Indigo77]

I hope I can offer the right words when needed or support when needed

U do it every day

 

[Butterfly67]

You are right Natsby, and sometimes I also forget that a lot of people graduate from the TTC board to the Pregnancy ones.

Like Sarah I have become a bit more worried about mcs and stuff since I come on this board but in another way I have learnt so much from here in a short space of time that might just give me that extra chance of getting a BFP.

to everyone and hoping the BFPs come for all this year.

 

[cebethel]

You ladies are the greatest!!! Baby dust to all! Group hugs!

 

[Janie66]

Your right natbsy, this does put it into perspective, after having such a shitty week this week, all I needed was to watch on TV1 on thursday a tv prog called "too old to be a mum" which was terriable negative towards age, I could not get any lower this week, I was on my knees in my bedroom when OH came home from work after watching that, screwed up in a ball, cying, sobbing actually, everything just hit me at once i think, TTC is so exhausting, and being my age, no one can help anymore ie; nhs , they have done all they can do for me, I feel so alone, but I have got myself back up again now, and reading this has helped me further, its true, look at the bigger picture, people do mostly come on here to get help, this isnt showing the bigger picture of all those who DO concieve at 35+ and have H&H pregnancys, so positivity at that one, amen xxxx

 

[Natsby]

Also I just want to say, ok actually shout I AM NOT OLD I´M ONLY 38!!!! 45 is not old, old is 90 old is not fit, not with it, no energy, old is a state of mind but old is not me and I´ll be a great mum when it happens no matter what age I am so can we all stop focusing so much on our ages, young people have fertility problems too. My friend here is 30, just and she has been trying for 3 years with no bfp. we live longer healthier lives than at any other point in history, in 20 years time this will be so normal no one will mention it. Humans stay younger longer, just ask my line dancing mum 69 this year, so ok our eggs are older too, but surely they have also benefited from better living standards too, if that wasn´t true then surely it wouldn´t matter what we did, we could all smoke and drink like fish, but no those things do harm so the good things must do good. my 38 year old eggs are a 2011 stardard, and that is gold standard. We are not old. Right rant over race you to the swings!!!!!

 

[Ruth2307]

You are right Natsby, and sometimes I also forget that a lot of people graduate from the TTC board to the Pregnancy ones.

Like Sarah I have become a bit more worried about mcs and stuff since I come on this board but in another way I have learnt so much from here in a short space of time that might just give me that extra chance of getting a BFP.

to everyone and hoping the BFPs come for all this year.

This time last month I was still TTC but have 'graduated'. I am 37, have a blocked tube, chronic PCOS and am 'fluffy' (I so love that word!!)

Kosh 40, Storm1jet2 35 and ClaireyB 37 amongst others are also 'graduands' and first time mums-to-be. Oh yes, there are success stories!

This is the BEST forum I have ever belonged to; emotionally mature, well-considered and meaningful advice and support.

 

[Natsby]

Yay for us the fantastic fourum!