Somewhat traumatic EMCS experience - share yours?

[Laurakiaora]

Hi all,

I never thought I'd require this forum but after having a long and slow progressing labour, my daughter was born by EMCS on the 30th (okay, it's very strange saying I have a daughter...)

I'd wanted a natural birth (pffrt!), drug free and using the pool and ball if I could. Nothing went to plan with my labour from the offset and it was all very traumatic.

I feel saddened that I haven't been able to deliver my baby naturally. I feel like I've missed on on some part of womanhood that I should have been able to experience. I was excited about having a vaginal birth.

My section was very rushed due to other ladies requiring emergency sections at the same time. I was pushed and pulled around and didn't really know what was going on. I was exhausted and emotional and the whole thing was a bit of a blur.

My baby is healthy and beautiful but I feel a bit down that I missed out on the birthing experience I really wanted.

Bit of a pointless post. Maybe I just need to get these feelings out somewhere as I don't think anyone really understand. I have an infection (they think) above my wound to the side which I'm on medication for as it's very painful and I struggle to move around much. I'm still in shock and think it will be a while before I'm over the experience.

Anyway, hi to all the others here. Does anyone have any similar stories they'd like to share? How long was it after your EMCS that you started to feel emotionally okay again?

 

[socitycourty]

Mine was somewhat like that, I had been trying to go natural and I did last about 24 hours before having to get an epidural but the whole thing was very scary, I had a high fever and an infection and so they wanted baby out ASAP.

I did not like the feeling of being awake and in surgery. I had never expected a c section.

I was pretty messed up after and felt like I didn't bond with my daughter right away.

I'm now 4 months past and I feel a bit better but I'm not myself still, don't know how long it will take

 

[minties]

Strangely, I was fine with the EMCS at the time - well ok, not at the exact time it was happening, but it took until around a year later when it hit me about what happened and what I missed out on.

I went into labour naturally, after about 11.5 hours of labour (around 10am) it was decided I was getting nowhere as I was stuck at 3cm. Que the syntocinon drip, being stuck on my back, epidural, then EMCS at 2:21pm.

I struggled to associate this baby that was handed to me with my pregnant belly. The first time I saw him, I just thought "cute baby, I want to go home now", but didn't feel like he was mine or that I wanted to take him. That did pass, but I feel that at the time it was due to the c-section.

My recovery was fine, but emotionally the missing our of the vaginal birth has been the biggest struggle. I keep remembering the pressure to have the c-section, and how helpless and unsure I felt. They made me feel like they were offering me choices, but to do anything other than a c-section was going to kill my baby.

Funnily enough, between 1pm and 2pm, they turned off the syntocinon drip and I started dilating, and he stopped showing signs of distress. This was NOT told to me. I only know as I had my midwife give me all my labour notes from the hospital.

I'm facing a repeat section due to uncontrolled gestational diabetes now, and I can't even begin to tell you how I feel. Ripped off, depressed, and very emotional for starters.

 

[Kimmi82]

I felt EXACTLY the same hun even now I look back and think of what might have been if things had gone to plan. I was induced at 12 days over.and stopped progressing at 9cmd and baby was in distress. The procedure itself was fine and i was so relieved but in the days and weeks that followed i struggled to bond and did end up on anti-d's as ny moods were so low, not that that will happen to you, but everything you feel is so normal, dont keep it bottled up, talk about how you feel and it does get better, i promise you xx im here 12 months on with a happy baby who i am still breastfeeding and i am off the meds too xxx

 

[lilbecksxx]

I feel exactly the same!! You definitely arent alone

My waters broke by themselves when I was 36+4. Went to the hospital - was 2cm dilated & 50% effaced. After 12 hours of very painful labour (5 attempts at epidural, couldnt get it in), they gave me a c section due to me being stuck at 4cm (even after pitocin). When they opened me up, they found my son had twisted himself into a really weird position & was completely stuck. It took 2 doctors tugging really hard & vacuum extraction to get him out. This was horrific for me - after I heard him start crying and as they were trying to put me back together, they ended up gassing me because I was having a panic attack.

I am SO jealous of everyone who gets a straight forward vaginal birth Knowing I will probably have to have another c section is already terrifying and makes me scared to get pregnant again

 

[TheSmpsns]

I had a planned C section due to LO being breech, but it turned into an EMCS. My water broke at 36 weeks, and I went to the hospital. I was in labor for 6 hours waiting for my C section. They did not give me any pain meds, nor did they check to see how dilated my cervix was at any point when I was there. The staff was horrible, and rude! The contractions were on top of eachother, and I felt something coming out and the urge to push. Just DH was in the room with me. We called the nurse and asked if they could come in, she replied with "Why?".
They came in and found that he was footling breech, and it was his leg that had come out. The doctor came in, and as soon as he felt the leg, they searched for a heartbeat and couldn't find it. So they rushed me off, and did general anesthesia since they had not done a block on me yet. So, I was unconscious. The unfortunate thing is that I didn't get to see LO until 6 hours after he was born.

 

[x__amour]

Still not okay with mine...

My birth story.

 

[anna1986]

My little girl was born by emcs due to a prolapsed cord.

My waters broke at 35 weeks and we already knew she was breech. We headed to the hospital and they confirmed i wasnt contracting but they were going to admit me for 24hrs to see if i went into labour if not id be sent home on anti-biotics. Hubby went home for the around 5am at 5:15 i felt like something was bulging out of me so rang the bell for midwife said something didnt feel right. She took one look and hit the emergency bell. She then told me all banys cord had come out and they needed to deliver her NOW! About 5 other midwife plus 2 docs ran into the room made me go on all fours whilst they tried to push the cord back in to stop it going cold and cutting of babys oxygen. I stayed on all fours with a midwife on the bed with her hand inside me whlst they rushed me to theathre. I was put to sleep and baby was delivered exactly 10 mins after me noticing the cord prolapse. She spent 10 daysin scbu. The saddest thing i find about her birth was that i never got to see her be born or hear her 1st cry and i didnt see her til she was 7 hrs old! BUT then i think about how thankful i am that she is here as it could have easily gone the other way if the docs and midwifes hadnt been so quick to react.
Shes now 18 months old and im expecting my 2nd child and am hoping for a more relaxed elcs this time around.

 

[skc22]

I had a pretty awful experience too, but at the time I was just glad LO got here safely. It wasn't until about 4 months ago that it hit me and I was really struggling with my birth experience.

I was induced on my due date because my blood pressure kept sky rocketing (180/100) then returning to normal. For the week prior I had been in and out of hospital while they monitered my blood pressure. I originally was told I could never have a vaginal delivery because I had pelvic surgery as a teenager and the consultant said I had the wrong shaped pelvis. But at 38 weeks I was told to give a vaginal delivery a go. That was fine by me because I wasn't scared of labour at all. My induction went for 5 days and I had back to back labour.

When I could finally push, I did so for 6 hours before I became too exhausted to do anything at all. They took me to theatre for trial of forceps and EMCS if needed. I tore pretty badly with the forceps and they did an episiotomy too. She couldn't fit through my pelvis. They then did a classical c section and a huge incision. The whole time I had rigors as my temp was 39 degrees, I kept vomiting and I remember hardly any of it. It took them 1.5 hours to sew me back up and my epidural wore off while they were doing it and I could feel everything. I kept saying I can feel that and the Dr didn't care. Finally the anaesthetist yelled at her to give me some local. OH was holding LO, but they moved him away from me as he could see all the blood on the floor and was turning green. I didn't get to hold Alexia until I was in recovery.

My insicion only just healed up when Alexia was 11 months. I had a large area that would not heal and the infection wasn't responding to antibiotics. It was horrible because I was always very uncomfortable, and it prevented me exercising to loose the baby weight.

I also had alot of issues with establishing bfing, so for me that has affected me more than her birth, although it isn't something I will ever be ok with.

 

[socitycourty]

I forgot to add that I had gotten to 10 cm and they had me push but no luck, she was in a transverse position as opposed to head down

 

[clarsair]

I was having a home birth but ended up transferring to hospital at 8cm due to a lack of progress. I was fully dilated but my daughters head was only 2/5ths engaged so the doctor diagnosed CPD and it was off for an EMCS I went. They really did struggle to get her head back out so she was properly stuck.

It had never, ever, crossed my mind I'd end up with a CS - I was big into hypnobirthing, Ina may Gaskin books, the lot. I wasn't afraid and truly believed it would all go normally. I ended up with PND and struggled to bond with my baby, I felt such a crushing sense of failure. I was so prepared for a natural delivery - why couldn't I do something that someone else could without even a second thought?

Anyway, it took me about 18 months to 'get over it'. Rather than being something that causes me pain and tears to think about, it's faded to a dissappointment that I feel I have learnt from and can move on from. I think I'll always have a niggling thought of 'if only I'd doesn't something differently or tried harder' but I know now that's being hard on myself. we can all only play the hand we are dealt. And that was my daughters birth - it was unique to her.

 

[ace28]

hey lady- sounds like your birth story and mine went very similarly! I wanted a natural birth too... just didn't happen, I wasn't dilating and after they did the c section they told me that he had been face up and stuck. Basically, a c section was the only way he was coming out! don't feel bad about your c section, you had to do what you had to do for a healthy baby!

edited to add: my only regret with the birth is that my son was born at 119am, I got to kiss him briefly, and then he was whisked away to the nursery. I was so out of it from the meds and tired that I crashed and they didn't bring me my baby until 530am. =( And THEN the stupid nurse wheeled him into my room and I said can I hold him and she said I have to press on your stomach first... at which point I burst into tears because I hadn't met my baby yet and this lady wouldn't let me hold him! grrrrrr.

 

[discoclare]

I haven't got over it after 2 1/2 years and I wonder if I ever will. I am having my second by elective section next Thursday (after really wanting a VBAC and arguing for months with the consultants before giving in) and feel terribly down about it. I hate the idea that I will have had two children and given birth to neither. I am also worried about recovery with a toddler and not being able to lift her and my breastfeeding chances being affected.

My story:
My DD never engaged, was always completely free. At 39+2 my waters broke and I went into labour spontaneously dilating to 10 cm. She still wasn't coming down into my pelvis. They did an ultrasound and said her position and face were perfect, also she wasn't big (she weighed 7lb 0oz at birth). We discussed what to do. Since I was determined for a natural labour and sure everything would be fine I asked if I could try and deliver her. I pushed really hard for over an hour on a birthing stool on the floor to try and open my pelvis as much as possible, they said I was doing brilliant and pushing well but her head wasn't coming into the pelvis properly. As she started to come in she got stuck. I got taken into theatre and they did an emergency section. this is where things went wrong!
Her head was very badly stuck and they had to do a lot of manipulation to free her. Whilst doing all of this my uterus tore twice, once all the way around the back wall and vertically through the cervix into the vagina. I had a big haemorrage and they had to bleep a gynae consultant to drive from home in the middle of the night for repairs. I have subsequently been told that I was lucky my uterus was saved but it is nearly 360degrees of fibrous scar tissue.

I was sure I would be allowed to go for VBAC this time, but have had several consultants opinions all telling me no (and my hospital is very pro-VBAC). They said if I really wanted to I would have to sign my notes to say that I was going against medical advice. the main reason for them not wanting me to go for it is increased risk of uterine rupture. I have been told normal risk is 0.5% after 1 section, about 2% after 2 previous sections and "at least 10%" for me! But also the consultants told me that normally even if uterine rupture does occur it isn't dangerous or difficult to repair as it is usually along the c section cut, whereas with me it could happen anywhere in my uterus because there is so much weak scar tissue, and that it could happen where the placenta is adhered at the back wall, which could be dangerous for the baby's oxygen supply.

So reluctantly for the safety of my bubs I have agreed to an elective section next week. I feel miserable really. I feel like all the excitement has been taken out of the experience.

 

[c1403]

Hi Ladies

I had a EMCS on 16th September and had a beautiful girl

I wanted a natural labour/birth, but was willing to do whatever necessary to keep me and baby safe....unfortuantly I never got that but so glad that me and baby are well.

My story (in brief) below....


My pregnancy had been perfect all the way through, I started getting contractions about 4 days before I finally went to hospital at 5am on the 16th when they were a few minutes apart.

I was only in the hospital 30 mins or so and I kept making these terrible pushing noises, the midwife got me on the bed as she thought baby was coming fast but I was only 4cm.

I was hooked up to a monitor and they watched closely,I kept on trying to push but was still only 4 cm, so I was made to have a epidural as i was brusing myself and also closing my cervix rather than open it. After this things went smoothly, I was monitored but I wasnt dialating fast enough so was put on a drip to bring my contractions closer, however this then made the babys heartrate drop. 8 hours later I was only 6cm and my contractions all over the place. The consultant came in and told me he wanted to do a test on baby by making a small scratch on their head, this was about 10hours after I first came in. He then came back with results that showed baby in distress and not getting enough oxygen and I was taken for EMCS right away.Our baby girl was born weighing 6lb11oz and perfect...I on the other hand was in a bad way. I was in recovery for 3 hours and my body temperature went through the roof but no blood pressure or pulse could be taken although I was fully awake and consious I was also out of it. There was blood coming from my wound so I was rushed right back to theatre incase it was internal bleeding, I was petrified by this point and hadn't even seen my baby properly (she was with her daddy). Fortuantly when they opened me up again there was no internal bleeding, they had no idea what was wrong. I went back to recovery and I was in and out of conciousnous, low BP and low pulse, I was freezing cold but sweating like mad. I ended up being rushed to high dependancy and was put on all sort of drips and monitored every 20 mins for the next 24 hours....all this time I couldnt be with my little girl, luckily my OH and parents were taking turns being with her and me. Finally about 48 hours after first coming into hospital I went back to maternity and started my normal recovery from the c section...turns out I caught a really bad infection.

I was finally re-united with my princess and since then have recovered really well and apart form low iron levels I am pretty much fully recovered.

Was a scary experience and I wouldnt want to go through it again, it has put me off another child but I think once time has passed we will think about it again. I would love a brother or sister for my little girl....not just yet though.

xxx

 

[SillyMoo1983]

I thought I'd share my story too as I remember everything vividly but don't get to tell people very often!

I'd had a perfect pregnancy, everything was going swimmingly. At 39+4 my contractions started and went on into the night. My waters broke in the car on the way to hospital. Contractions were coming every couple of minutes, I bearly got my breath back before the next one came and they were all in my bottom. Seriously, it felt like I needed a huuuge poo! My mum found someone to examine me (nobody came for a long time and i was struggling). I'd had no pain relief and wasn't offered any when the woman examined me. My god, it hurt! She was rummaging down there for a rather long time while I was trying not to swear. She said she thought she could feel a baby bottom instead of a head but would double check with a scanner. The scanner showed baby's head with her little toes by her ears up by my ribs. I did panic because I knew then I'd need a c section. They tried to put monitors on me but couldn't find babys heartbeat. That's when everyone (including me) really started to panic and i was rushed off for the epidural and straight into theatre. Soon after, my little perfect baby came squeaking into the world. She was 5lb 2oz and so perfectly tiny.

The theatre bit was actually quite nice as everyone was nice and looking after us. Once back on the ward though I did struggle. My baby was woken up every 3 hours to have a heel prick test for her blood sugar and also temp taken (because of the low birth weight). Every time they did this she would cry and I was told to breastfeed her. I tried so desperately and felt so hopeless that I couldn't get her latched on. There were feeding issues and I left hospital exclusively expressing 5 days later. I was severely anaemic too which didn't help. I had a lot of trapped air that had me in tears. It hurt more than the scar for the first 3 days.

I cried a lot for the first month, especially when I thought of the birth and also not being able to breastfeed. Hormones too! I was a mess! But things got better when I could drive again and i stopped expressing so I could spend time just enjoying my baby.

Looking back, I'd happily do it again BUT I would much prefer a planned section to an emergency one. I didn't like the feeling of not being in control of my body. I love my LO so much and I feel incredibly lucky to have her in my life. We've been on an amazing journey together