Son's father remarried & "told" me via our son

[singlemomintn]

A little context for this: My ex and I were never married (were together for 12 years and engaged for the last 3 but my concerns about him prevented me from taking the plunge) and split up just over 4 years ago. He's an alcoholic who has had several DUI arrests and this past fall after another arrest, I formalized our custody agreement with the courts. I now have 80% custody and he has our son every other weekend. He'd been dating another woman (with 3 children of her own from 2 previous relationships) for about 18 months.

My son (age 6) came home last week and while discussing his weekend with his dad, shared that his dad got married and then asked me if he now has 2 moms. I kept my cool and calmly explained as well as I could. My ex still has yet to tell me and they didn't talk to any of the kids about this in advance of the ceremony. Just popped it on them one day and they were in the backyard wedding that same day. I'm dealing with the confusion and questions that my son has, yet not able to properly answer them without any information myself. How do I best talk to him about this situation? What can I do to further reassure my son? If I had know about this beforehand I feel that I could have better prepared him for it, but to just blindside the kids like this seems incredibly irresponsible and I'm not sure what to do to help him process his feelings. I'm just incredibly concerned. Any insight, resources or advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[babycrazy1706]

i just found a link to this book called. 'daddy's getting married'. hope that helps. xx

and big hugs to you

https://www.amazon.com/Daddys-Getting-Married-about-Books/dp/0764135031