soo he got in contact and now wants to be at the birth....

[tiasmummy]

if youve read my previous posts ive said i broke up with fob at 32 weeks preg due to him being violent and controlling. since then in that very short space of 5 weeks hes moved on and has another gf. initially he said he didnt want to ever see me or the baby again bt hes bn in contact over fb today and asked to be at the birth, i of course said no as i dont want him there seeing me all animalistic when were not even together the thought makes me shudder. also i need my supportive family around while im in pain not a gd 4 nothing pain in the ass like him. i have said he can come and visit me on the post natal ward afterwards though simply coz im happy hes making an effort i want a dad for my dd and i dont want to take him away from her or her away from him. im worried how it will go though....anyone been in a similar situation? and did it turn out for the best?

 

[emeraldbaby]

I'm in the same situation as you, only I'm married and separated. My husband was abusive also.
I think you are doing the right thing for your personal circumstances. Best of luck xx

 

[resursval]

To be honest I am not sure if such men make good dads..
Sooner or later their abusive, controlling ways show through and the child-ren may adopt the behavior, or almost worse: try to find someone like their abusive, controlling dad when they become adults...
You want a dad for your baby but to what cost?

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

I was in the same situation... Except he expects me to be cool with his stupid gf being around my son.... No thanks. He wants to be at the birth but I told him that he gave up the chance to see the birth of his son when he stuck his dick in another woman... So he's not seeing my vag or his son come out of it!

He's welcome to see the baby and me immediately after the birth and that's only so he can sign the affidavit of proof of parentage so I can get him for child support.

 

[tiasmummy]

I was in the same situation... Except he expects me to be cool with his stupid gf being around my son.... No thanks. He wants to be at the birth but I told him that he gave up the chance to see the birth of his son when he stuck his dick in another woman... So he's not seeing my vag or his son come out of it!

He's welcome to see the baby and me immediately after the birth and that's only so he can sign the affidavit of proof of parentage so I can get him for child support.

you go girl!!! i feel exactly the same way regarding him moving on so soon with another girl it makes me sick tbh but yea i want child support from him and he can have contact with his daughter under MY terms which means i will have to be there as well hes not taking her by himself, never know what might happen....

 

[miasmum2012]

oh god i was in exactly the same situation as you! violent and controlling ex, broke up with me when i was pregnant and had another girlfriend within weeks and he asked to be at the birth and we eventually ended up getting back together

biggest mistake of my life!

he was the same for 4 months and now has tried to go back to his ex girlfriend again, my advice let him be there for the baby but DO NOT get emotionally attached to him again, people like that never change

 

[tiasmummy]

oh god i was in exactly the same situation as you! violent and controlling ex, broke up with me when i was pregnant and had another girlfriend within weeks and he asked to be at the birth and we eventually ended up getting back together

biggest mistake of my life!

he was the same for 4 months and now has tried to go back to his ex girlfriend again, my advice let him be there for the baby but DO NOT get emotionally attached to him again, people like that never change

yea miasmum its hard not to become emotionally involved i havent seen him for about 6 weeks and when i see him holding our daughter im scared i might fall in love all over again! however, i dont think he will leave his new gf anyway so lets nt worry about that....did your fob leave his gf for you coz he liked the whole 'family idea'?

 

[miasmum2012]

no he left her because he got her pregnant too and he wanted nothing to do with that baby, he didn't want me knowing about the baby but i found out.

now hes got bored of me hes tried to go back to her, no doubt if she had got back with him when he'd got bored of her he'd have tried to get back with me lol

i'm glad i got out of that :/

 

[tiasmummy]

no he left her because he got her pregnant too and he wanted nothing to do with that baby, he didn't want me knowing about the baby but i found out.

now hes got bored of me hes tried to go back to her, no doubt if she had got back with him when he'd got bored of her he'd have tried to get back with me lol

i'm glad i got out of that :/

Oh dear...my babys dad just constantly reminds me of how much of a shit gf i was and how much better hes done for himself now. hes got 2 kids already from 2 different women that he doesnt see, i will be the 3rd and definately not the last....

 

[Rhio92]

I was in this situation, except I stupidly allowed idiot arsehole wanker to be there Worst experience of my life, I found myself trying to support him when he was supposed to be supporting me, and he kept swearing at me and telling me not to be a wimp
Stay strong with your decision girls! xxx

 

[tiasmummy]

I was in this situation, except I stupidly allowed idiot arsehole wanker to be there Worst experience of my life, I found myself trying to support him when he was supposed to be supporting me, and he kept swearing at me and telling me not to be a wimp
Stay strong with your decision girls! xxx

oh god i can just imagine that being my baby father he would do exactly that! hence why hes not gonna be there....and he doesnt deserve to see me looking so undignified!

 

[teal]

Sounds like the right decision not having him there. You need people you're comfortable with when you're in labour! xx