Soon to be Single Parent

[Sun_Flower]

Hi everyone, sticking my nose into this part of the forum - Haven't posted on B&B for a long time, but back here now a my SO of 7.5 years and I have recently separated.

It was my decision, there just wasn't any feeling there any more and after months and months of soul searching and trying to get those feelings back I realised that my reasons for staying were so I didn't hurt my partner or upset the lives my children have - no me in there at all, and no emotion in there at all.

Told my... well I guess my ex now, 3 weeks ago, he said he knew it was coming but was still devastated. He's going to be moving out soon, and I'm currently in limbo as I can't get on with things/ start to work through this until he's gone. I'm gutted as this wasn't what I wanted - if I could turn the feelings back on I would in an instant, I never wanted my kids to have parents who aren't together and I always thought I'd be with the father of my children forever... but it wasn't fair on either of us to stay in a situation where there was no intimacy or emotion or anything other than platonic friendship on my part, and eventually we'd have come to resent each other.

so... I guess I'm just saying hi, and feeling quite scared about my single parent future!

 

[RaspberryK]

I've been doing it alone since dd was 11 weeks and I'm finding it fine.

Big hugs as it's hard whatever the circumstances.

My biggest hassle was sorting finances and benefits although we've not sold the house yet so that's probably going to be tricky.

Xx

 

[Wriggley]

I could have written your post word for word myself!

this is the EXACT situation im currently in - split with my boys dad nearly 3 months ago for the exact same reasons you have stated and left it so long for the exact same reasons you stated you didnt wanna read... honestly reading your post was like looking in the mirror! i was also with my boys dad for 7.5 years!

big hugs it gets easier! and your be able to start adjusting when he does move out. mine didnt move out for 2 weeks after we split

 

[george83]

Can I join this club please? Me and my oh have had issues since I was pregnant with ds1 who is now 4. Somehow in that time we managed to have two more babies (19 months and 4 months now) but I can see that our issues never went away and now I cant take anymore. I listen to everybody else talking about how wonderful their husbands are and how much they do for their babies and I look at what I have and feel so miserable. I never pictured my life like this for one second

 

[teal]

My situation is different but saying hello . I've always been a single parent (not by choice) and it really does get easier. I even managed to get back to education last year. Sending you hugs xx

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Wow this is me to!!
My husband and I split up a week ago. He is still living with us. Although he still wants to work at it and is very bitter towards me.
I'm scared to death of being a single parent but figured it's better that way than being in a relationship with no feelings.
Everything is so up in the air. I wish he had somewhere to go.
We constantly argue and say hurtful things to each other. That I know neither of us really mean.
Massive hugs to you all xxx

 

[baileybubs]

Sorry to hear you ladies are going through a difficult time, I was in your situation almost a year ago and it was really scary. Some days it seemed really hard (and sometimes still does!!) but it will get easier and you'll get into your own routine with the kids.