Sorry another post, question about your FOBs though!

[beanzz]

If your FOB pays maintenance for your child and see's them occasionally, do you expect them to have their own nappies and wipes at theirs or do you think it's okay to have to provide them for him?

FOB gives me £160 on the 1st of every month for LO and see's him Tuesdays and Thursdays for an hour and a half, then every other Saturday morning til Sunday evening.. I'm expected to give him enough nappies and wipes to last for those times though...surely the maintenance is to pay for the things LO needs whilst he's with me? Or am I being greedy here?

He has a good paid job but his excuse is cos he has to pay rent.. He shares bills with his girlfriend whereas I'm surviving on benefits until I return to work. Is like a fiver for a pack of nappies that will last him a couple of weeks with how much he see's LO so don't see how he can't afford :/

 

[Becky61]

Hi,
I regularly have this debate in my head, never with FOB though, as I know what his response will be.
FOB doesn't currently have lo over night as I'm breastfeeding, but he does have him at his house for 4hrs per week all in one go, then sees him at mine 3 times a week.
I simply pack my Pink Lining Yummy Mummy changing bag (I tell you this as he then takes lo out with this strapped to the pushchair haha) with enough nappies, wipes, food, spare clothes etc. for the duration of the time FOB has lo. He currently doesn't take him out ie. play centres, that kind of thing as lo is too young, but when he's old enough, FOB will pay for that.
I have decided (and not yet told FOB) that when lo is old enough to stay overnight or weekends, FOB will have to provide food, keep spare clothes (that he has gone out and bought) and pay for any outings/activities they do together. But, I will still pack a bag with nappies, wipes etc. Calpol, thermometer, all the things I know FOB would just never think of!
I know exactly where your coming from though, but I cant be bothered arguing with my ex, I know what he would say, in that he pays me maintenance blah blah.
I will be interested to see what other ladies say on this matter.
Becky
x

 

[Mummy1995]

Not really relevant to my situation as you're aware but I would expect him to pay for everything whilst he had lo! Same way you have to!

 

[bump_wanted]

My little one is toilet trained but for the baby I would send nappies and wipes with them tbh but in the same breath if I hadn't sent enough I'd expect him to buy them.. It shouldn't be a huge issue imo if the baby needs nappies wipes or food then FOB should just deal with it! Xx

 

[Natsku]

I used to provide nappies and wipes but I stopped doing that since we made the custody agreement. I still provide medicines and vitamins and clothing (but I sent a whole lot for him to keep at his so I don't have to keep packing some) but I think he ought to pay for nappies and wipes himself (and food of course)

 

[KayBea]

no he should provide everything your LO needs while hes with FOB xx

 

[babycrazy1706]

I would probably just send the nappies n wipes with LO but I do think your fob is silly to say he can't afford nappies. That's just petty. I wish I got £160 a month! Xx

 

[Dream.dream]

Actually your supposed to send them. If he only has visits and pays child support his support payments are supposed to buy those things for the child ad he shouldn't have to pay twice for them.

Unless you have the child 50/50 your supposed to provide clothing and diapers and wipes and formula for him when you send him

 

[beanzz]

Actually your supposed to send them. If he only has visits and pays child support his support payments are supposed to buy those things for the child ad he shouldn't have to pay twice for them.

Unless you have the child 50/50 your supposed to provide clothing and diapers and wipes and formula for him when you send him

Really? Shit, should have gone through CSA to get the full amount of what Oakley is entitled to then I am obviously just greedy haha. Children cost so much though

 

[babycrazy1706]

I wouldn't be able to get through £160 plus £80 child benefit. I'd have loads left! I'd feel rich. Lol. Xx

 

[Dream.dream]

if your not already then go trough Csa its not about being greedy unfortunately its just they way it is.

My child support don't cover anything really , my sons payments didnt even cover half his daycare so everything else he needed I had to pay for . It's rediculous,

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I don't know what the proper protocol is if he's paying full maintenance but I never used to send nappies/wipes/formula. I did for the first few months until he got used to the routine but I had enough to do while Lucas was with me without making sure FOB was sorted out too.

 

[babycrazy1706]

my ex went shopping to asda yesterday with a list i made for him and it came to £80. when he got back to mine he asked me to split the bill with him

dont worry, he will split my bill next time i go shopping too. he reckons it should be 50/50 but has no idea how many times i have to shop for top up bits of food for LO. not worth the arguement though as some women get nothing