Speculum Exam Pain - Worried about Labour!

[Sander]

Hi everyone,

Last night I went in to L&D because of some spotting/bleeding at 28 weeks, and while I was in they did an exam with a speculum, which was veeeery (like extremeley) painful - it came out all covered in blood.

So that was last night, and today my midwife came in and was like so you need to look into pain medication for your labour because your exam was very difficult. I thought I did such a good job! It hurt like crazy, but I didn’t even make any noise, I just kept my legs open and let her shove it in there - and now she’s all shaken my confidence in being able to go through labour!! I’ve always had problems with being too ‘tight’ - if DH and I don’t take enough time beforehand even sex can be painful - but I guess I figured my body would naturally do what it needed to do when it comes to pushing something out than pushing something in. Anyways does anyone have experience with speculum exams? Am I going to not be able to deliver this baby naturally??

I think it just bothers me so much that my midwife seems to have lost all confidence in me when I feel like all I did was tense up when she shoved quite roughly a giant plastic tool up my insides. I was hoping she would have faith in me and help me to have faith in myself that I can do it! Now she seems to think I won’t be able to, and I’m starting to freak out because if she doesn’t think I can do it then maybe I can’t!

 

[Kirstiedenman]

I think the fact she did a speculum exam while you were bleeding was really unnecessary. I have always been told they avoid this and do a scan to see where the bleeding is coming from as the speculum will only make it worse.

As for pain meds I think that is very unsupportive of her! I also need to be well lined up or lots of four play before sex due to being tight otherwise it is very painful and I have had 3 babies with zero pain relief. I would trust yourself and your body not an unsupportive midwife. There is a very big different between having a speculum that most likely would not have been lined up as it would throw off any test she was doing and having a baby.
Take her thoughts and throw them in the bin hun you are more than capable of doing this and if not when it comes to the day then you can discuss it. Make sure you write a thorough and in depth birth plan to cover all these areas.

 

[Sander]

Thank you so much Kirstie! Your comment helped a ton - especially knowing you’ve had natural childbirths with the same ‘tightness’. I’m going to talk to my midwife at our next appointment and tell her how I feel. I really think I need her in my corner!! But I’m going to try and stay positive because I really feel like I can do this pain med free if I want to - and then if I change my mind and want meds I’d hope that can be an option too

 

[Bumpontherun]

Your midwife is talking absolute rubbish. I had some bleeding last week and also had a speculum (I was 30 weeks). The doctor who did it was quite gentle and I'm normally OK with these sorts of things but it was still very uncomfortable. Despite the fact that I've had two babies and am normally fine with smear tests etc. You are much more vascular and sensitive down there when pregnant and it's totally normal for a rough examination to hurt! It has absolutely no bearing on your ability to manage pain during labour.

Keep your birth plan the way you want it - as you say if you need drugs its not like you have to order them in advance - your plan can be fluid, but I honestly don't think you can equate finding a speculum exam difficult with not being able to handle the pain of childbirth - your midwife sounds a bit stupid!!

 

[Kirstiedenman]

Thank you so much Kirstie! Your comment helped a ton - especially knowing you’ve had natural childbirths with the same ‘tightness’. I’m going to talk to my midwife at our next appointment and tell her how I feel. I really think I need her in my corner!! But I’m going to try and stay positive because I really feel like I can do this pain med free if I want to - and then if I change my mind and want meds I’d hope that can be an option too

That is great just express your feelings and wishes and say you would really like to be supported to have no pain meds but if on the day I say I really can’t cope I would like to discuss then then not beforehand. Most of the time women ask for them at 8cms and as much as at the time you think you possibly can’t make it, it feels that way because you are so close to the end and will have your baby soon so it’s extremely intense and usually having pain meds at that point can slow the process how ever it doesn’t mean if at the moment you want it and feel you need it you should feel guilty just something to think about if you ask for it when you are that close to the end. If you haven’t already look into doing hypnobirthing you can even start as late as 36 weeks. This is what I have used for all of mine and it honestly gets me through until a good 8cm before I think yes this is starting to become painful it is an extremely powerful and successful labouring tool xxx

 

[dinidani]

Labour is a lot more painfull then a speculum heck if you ever have a sweep that hurts like someone rumaging around your organs and if it is your first baby i think you have to be open to ideas of pain relief because a speculum isnt ment to hurt so maybe your body may not stretch without the pain ive had three natural births with just gas and air and my first was such a long labour the pain and exhuastion kicks in so you really cant shut down the pain relief and thinking off it as i had things in my birth plan as a back up just incase like alternative delievery methods to try before worst case if makes sence

 

[Unexpected212]

You can do it. The two aren't even comparable I promise. Just ignore her, sounds like a not very nice midwife and she did a crap job with the exam.

You can and will do this I have literally no pain threshold at all yet here I am on my 4th haha

 

[phantomfaery1]

I had exactly the same as you but at 36 weeks only difference is i screamed like anything lol i wouldnt let what the midwife thinks bother you everybody and every pregnancy is different and she should know that. Youll be fine during labour you were alot braver than me if the speculam didnt make you scream and i got through labour (well to 10 cm, unrelated crash section) you have nothing to worry about and everybody is scared of labour to some degree , so what if someone screams or panics more than someone else during labour x its a scary painful time but that has no bearing on the outcome if they are getting the correct help so just concentrate on you and enjoy the next few weeks

 

[MindUtopia]

I've had two completely natural home births. While pushing was intense in both of them, I wouldn't describe it as 'painful' really. By far the most painful parts were the vaginal exam (only had one in my 1st birth and declined any exams in my 2nd) and then getting stitches for a small tear. Actually giving birth was manageable, but those definitely hurt! So I wouldn't doubt yourself. That sounds like a perfectly reasonable reaction to a painful medical procedure. I didn't find birth was anything like that for me.

 

[Brightxeyes]

My pain threshold is incredibly low, and EVERYONE was convinced I'd be straight on an epidural (even me), I am actually more scared of having the needle in the spine though..

I tried to manage with gas and air and there was one point I was like okay give me it (I think I was more tired than anything as contractions were super close together) but it was too late. Didn't really use the gas and air towards pushing as I was concentrating so hard, but honestly... I can only ever describe it as 'not as bad as I expected it... but also very painful... I think the contractions were worse than I was expecting, and the pushing not as bad as I was expecting!

You can do it! Everyone is different, say you want to give it a go without, and you'll look at pain relief when it comes to it!

 

[Allie84]

Such good comments here! I can't add much but I hope these helped you feel better. I totally and completely agree your midwife was talking pish!!!!

 

[Sander]

Yes thank you everyone these comments were extremely helpful!! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who had a painful exam! You all helped to build my confidence back up haha, I have 11ish weeks to go and I think I’ll be ok after all