Lunabelle
Mother of one
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2015
- Messages
- 249
- Reaction score
- 49
So this is going to be a long story, but my OH announced yesterday that he will going on a stag weekend in Amsterdam this weekend. I need to vent. He said he had been invited weeks ago, but hadn't realised it was a stag due so he said he wouldn't be going. So it's not really something he is eagerly happy to do, but feels like he has to since it's his friend's stad due.
He is already very mature, not a silly little boy anymore and going to strip clubs and all of that is not really his thing anymore. Yes he did use to do that when he was younger.
I don't get the whole stripper thing and ''last nigh of freedom'' talk, as all of the men there are married or in committed relationships and the groom himself is getting married after being in a longterm relationship. Might be last night of freedom with an arranged marriage, but really these guys have had their 'last night of freedom' a long time ago.
He doesn't know all of the guys that will be going as some are the groom's friends from abroad. I don't personally know the groom very well, but one of the guys who is going I can just imagine would do everything nasty that one could imagine and maybe more... He is just a sleazy man, don't think he would be able to resist temptation. But that's just my opinion, I don't have any proof against him.
When he told me about it yesterday, he was very sweet and said he hadn't promised anything before he spoke to me as he wouldn't want to do something that I was really uncomfortable with and wouldn't want to risk loosing what he have. I was very upset about him going, but at the same time I don't want to restrict him and stop him from doing what he wants to do. I mean if he wanted to cheat, he could do anywhere I suppose. We agreed that he would go, as I do trust him and don't want to retrict him. But we agreed no lap dances, he did admit that strip clubs are likely as it's a stag due in amsterdam. I know there needs to be trust in a relationship for it to work, but really a stag due in amsterdam?
Now today I have been looking up at stagg due's in amsterdam and there is a lot more to it too than just strippers, a lot of nice things that really guys should be doing on a stag due. But there is also worse things to do, I read stories where the guys were given blowjobs by strippers etc, brothels, live sex shows...Grooms even having sex with girls, restling in mud with naked girls... things I definatly would not approve off and that would really hurt my feelings. And it said about why guys would go there ''so you don't have to bump into your fiancees grandmother while walking down the streat with one stripper in each arm''. I'd like to think that these guys are more mature than that, but when you're in a group and drunk or high on mushrooms you just do stupid things that you wouldn't do otherwise. Fact.
I love my OH, I do want to trust him and do trust him under normal curcumstances, but I also know he is quite sexual with a high testosterone and loves sexy girls... I don't want to be the evil crazy paranoid girlfriend, but feel like I am turning into one.. Oh and he was also like there will be times when you'll be going on hen nights, and I wouldn't want to restrict you then but at the same time wouldn't feel comfortable with some male stripper rubbing his penis all over you (TMI). But I think that's joke, because the hen nights I have been to have been very innocent and in general hen night tend to calmer. I think the ''worst'' thing was that the bride gave her bra to some guy at the bar, maybe panties too can't really remember. And now that I think about it, even on that hen night things did get a little wilder, but let's not go into details...
What I really worry about is that something could happen, and if it does I do think I will find out and the relationship will just never be the same. I know we could try to stay together but I know myself and have been cheated on before and it just isn't something I could ever forget or forgive. It wouldn't be my choice anymore to stay or leave, because the relationship would already be gone. But are these just the things you have to accept in a relationship? I honestly don't think I can tell him not to go, without that too having an impact on our relationship. Really I don't think I should be stopping him from going, I don't think it is something he should choose to go onto. It's not something I would choose to do in a relationship. But he is going, and I will just have to wait and see.. Maybe I will cook a nice dinner tonight or ask if he wants to go out for dinner, we have a bottle of wine and have one more great evening together before he goes, just in case it'll be our last one...
He is already very mature, not a silly little boy anymore and going to strip clubs and all of that is not really his thing anymore. Yes he did use to do that when he was younger.
I don't get the whole stripper thing and ''last nigh of freedom'' talk, as all of the men there are married or in committed relationships and the groom himself is getting married after being in a longterm relationship. Might be last night of freedom with an arranged marriage, but really these guys have had their 'last night of freedom' a long time ago.
He doesn't know all of the guys that will be going as some are the groom's friends from abroad. I don't personally know the groom very well, but one of the guys who is going I can just imagine would do everything nasty that one could imagine and maybe more... He is just a sleazy man, don't think he would be able to resist temptation. But that's just my opinion, I don't have any proof against him.
When he told me about it yesterday, he was very sweet and said he hadn't promised anything before he spoke to me as he wouldn't want to do something that I was really uncomfortable with and wouldn't want to risk loosing what he have. I was very upset about him going, but at the same time I don't want to restrict him and stop him from doing what he wants to do. I mean if he wanted to cheat, he could do anywhere I suppose. We agreed that he would go, as I do trust him and don't want to retrict him. But we agreed no lap dances, he did admit that strip clubs are likely as it's a stag due in amsterdam. I know there needs to be trust in a relationship for it to work, but really a stag due in amsterdam?
Now today I have been looking up at stagg due's in amsterdam and there is a lot more to it too than just strippers, a lot of nice things that really guys should be doing on a stag due. But there is also worse things to do, I read stories where the guys were given blowjobs by strippers etc, brothels, live sex shows...Grooms even having sex with girls, restling in mud with naked girls... things I definatly would not approve off and that would really hurt my feelings. And it said about why guys would go there ''so you don't have to bump into your fiancees grandmother while walking down the streat with one stripper in each arm''. I'd like to think that these guys are more mature than that, but when you're in a group and drunk or high on mushrooms you just do stupid things that you wouldn't do otherwise. Fact.
I love my OH, I do want to trust him and do trust him under normal curcumstances, but I also know he is quite sexual with a high testosterone and loves sexy girls... I don't want to be the evil crazy paranoid girlfriend, but feel like I am turning into one.. Oh and he was also like there will be times when you'll be going on hen nights, and I wouldn't want to restrict you then but at the same time wouldn't feel comfortable with some male stripper rubbing his penis all over you (TMI). But I think that's joke, because the hen nights I have been to have been very innocent and in general hen night tend to calmer. I think the ''worst'' thing was that the bride gave her bra to some guy at the bar, maybe panties too can't really remember. And now that I think about it, even on that hen night things did get a little wilder, but let's not go into details...
What I really worry about is that something could happen, and if it does I do think I will find out and the relationship will just never be the same. I know we could try to stay together but I know myself and have been cheated on before and it just isn't something I could ever forget or forgive. It wouldn't be my choice anymore to stay or leave, because the relationship would already be gone. But are these just the things you have to accept in a relationship? I honestly don't think I can tell him not to go, without that too having an impact on our relationship. Really I don't think I should be stopping him from going, I don't think it is something he should choose to go onto. It's not something I would choose to do in a relationship. But he is going, and I will just have to wait and see.. Maybe I will cook a nice dinner tonight or ask if he wants to go out for dinner, we have a bottle of wine and have one more great evening together before he goes, just in case it'll be our last one...
