Starting to wonder about "early potty training."

[bestmomideas]

Boys tend to potty train later than girls do so good luck to you.

 

[adrie]

To each her own but I agree with the other poster about taking a more child-led approach. EC is not child led, as the child is not actually communicating his or her needs but rather just doing what babies/toddlers do--pooping and peeing. It's definitely more of a parent-led approach for that reason. The difference in the approaches is that parent-led is more focused on teaching, while child-led more so encourages and guides in the process with the knowledge/interest the child has already expressed in the training process to begin with.

With my daughter, I initially planned to try at exactly 2.5, give it a go for a week or so and see if she was ready. But she had other ideas, and started of her own volition at 28 months. By that point, there was no "teaching" really, but rather guidance. She knew what the potty was, she knew her poop was flushed down, she liked washing her hands and she was self motivated to use the potty. It's basically been a breeze. Thank God.

 

[CaptainMummy]

Quite frankly, I don't know how you can even be bothered to try for so long!
My girls have been as easy as pie to train (within days, at 27 & 28 months) and even then, I didn't enjoy it one bit. I certainly wouldn't draw out thw whole process over years!
My youngest is 21 months and she tells me when she needs a pee, she asks to sit on the toilet a couple of times every day, she is dry after her nap most of the time and about half of the time in the morning... But Im too lazy and am keeping her in nappies!

 

[Ro168]

I say try if you think your LO will take to it.
My toddlers are 2 years 2 months and we have introduced the potty and they know what it is for but have no interest in starting. We originally wanted to have them trained for when they start preschool in the fall but it doesnt look likely at all. I don't know how I'm going to tackle it yet.
If anyone has potty trained multiples themselves then I would love some advice. I'm not sure whether to do all three at once or just start each child on their own when they seem ready.

 

[SarahBear]

I suppose EC isn't child-led in that the child is actively choosing, but it is child-led in terms of listening to your child's needs and responding to them. Your child needs to eliminate and you respond to that, just like you respond to your child's need of hunger. And then as your kid gets older (sometimes under a year, sometimes over a year), they begin to communicate about their needs and you respond to that. Sometimes Leo actively communicates with sign, gesture, et cetera and other times he just tries to use the toilet, or other times I just catch him in the act. He's a toddler; he's still learning. At this point it's not really so much "parent led" or "child led," but "parent and child cooperative" with some parent led aspects that are sensitive to the child. Think about how weaning isn't "child led," because the parent begins to expose and provide food rather than waiting for the child to "ask" to eat food. It's the same concept except with the toilet. It's also low-pressure and low-stress when expectations are kept reasonable. With Violet, things just sort of clicked at 18 months, and I wouldn't be surprised if the same was true for Leo. Violet had lots of ups and downs with the potty, but that was a first experience for me and Leo is much more even-keeled than her, so I expect things to be smoother with him. I'm not looking for miracles, but teaching my child that the diaper is the place to go and then un-training them later just doesn't make sense to me. Hence the early potty exposure and transitioning over to the potty at a more natural pace.

 

[adrie]

We definitely disagree about what child led versus parent led means as a whole. I know I'm not the first to say that I honestly don't understand the point of EC. A child at 18 months is vastly different in cognitive ability, lack of boundary testing and independence, etc., than that of a 2-3 year old as those skills aren't really developed yet. It's not so surprising to me that something such as this becomes just another way to try and assert their own independence. It seems like too much work for negligible results a lot of the time. Like you said though, maybe your son is more suited to it than your daughter. How old is your daughter and is she trained now?

I wouldn't compare feeding a baby to potty training for the simple fact that as long as your child is eliminating, the need is met; it doesn't matter to him or her at a very young age in which way he or she does so. In other words, your child will void regardless of a diaper or a bare bottom; on a potty or the floor, etc., etc. Obviously, if you don't offer food, (including the breast in the early months if BF) your child doesn't eat.

Finally, my daughter had a very early exposure to the toilet and everything that goes into it, as early as she started following me in the washroom, but it wasn't anything I had to train her about if that makes sense. She was probably 14+ months or so, I don't exactly remember. One of her first phrases was "bye bye poo poo" as we cloth diapered her, and she would watch me flush her bowel movements. She always loved washing her hands and listening to potty songs and reading her potty book. I naturally explained the process but didn't ask her to try or teach signs. Had she never shown an interest that young, I wouldn't have bothered, to be honest. You and I just have very different approaches, that's all.

 

[SarahBear]

We backed off for a while because despite vacation having no negative impact on the process, he stopped using the potty/toilet for a bit after we came home. He's back at it though and even communicated his need to poop which hasn't happened in a long time. Generally, if he communicates about poop, it's to let us know after he has gone. So progress is decent. He has awareness, he has intentional communication and he knows potty use elicits clapping. Violet had a breakthrough with this method at 18 months and it wouldn't surprise me if a similar breakthrough is around the corner for Leo. If not, hopefully this communication about poop continues, haha.

 

[SarahBear]

With all the potty threads going around, I was thinking about my own little guy! I wanted to work on pottying over winter break, but we were either traveling or feeling crumby, so no concerted potty efforts were made. Leo does seem to be starting to get better though. We'll also be traveling for spring break which otherwise would have been a good opportunity (He's also turning 2 over spring break. Exciting!). However, he HAS come back around to requesting the potty on occasion or pointing out when his diaper is wet or poopy. Pee is also still far more reliable than poop. It's been a VERY long time since he's pooped in the toilet or potty. He usually lets me know AFTER he has pooped and then will sometimes follow it up with a pee in the potty or toilet. I'm going to continue to support his communication about the potty and encourage him to use it. I'm also going to continue offering the potty when he wakes up or goes in the bath. I think I'll just continue the way I am and if he starts to use it more regularly, I'll look at transitioning him out of diapers. If he doesn't naturally transition out of diapers, I'll give potty training a go over the summer when I have time off from work again. He'll be about 2 years 3 months at that point. If that doesn't work, I'll try again with more incentives before he's three such as over NEXT winter break.

 

[Pearls18]

With both my children I waited until they were just about to turn 3 (we did try a bit with my eldest at 2.5+ ish but I could see he wasn't ready), I'm incredibly relaxed about training, I don't understand why people like doing it so young when it seems to take ages, lots of accidents, regression and stress. My main goal is I like them to be done before the pre-school room (3) so they don't have to have their nappies changed in there, both were a month or so shy of 3, it was the easiest thing, done in less than a week, very few accidents to speak of. My eldest needed a bit more encouragement with pooing but as we could communicate easily with each other it was a short blip. I never over thought it, they don't have accidents and haven't ever regressed even in stressful life changes, my eldest has issues with nighttime but that's a separate issue really, my youngest was dry at night same time as day. I just don't understand why people put themselves through the phaff and often stress doing it younger when it can be SO easy if you just wait a little longer, just seems nicer for the child as well really? I appreciate every child is different, but for me coming up to 3 my boys were clearly ready to be able take it on so quickly.

 

[JumpingIn]

Tried with my 19 month old. He laughed in my face and peed on the floor and it was all a massive game. He definitely has control of his bowels and when to urinate. But pottying right now? Hell no.

 

[Boo44]

I e only skim read so sorry if I've missed something crucial but I can't understand why when you outline how tricky it has been for your daughter starting so young, you would want to potentially go down the exact same route with your son!

I know of so many children who 'cracked it' pretty darn well at 18 months but then regressed back to nappies before 3. I just wouldn't risk it! It takes like 2 days if you wait until they're older and ready!

 

[MAMA MOON]

Quite frankly, I don't know how you can even be bothered to try for so long!
My girls have been as easy as pie to train (within days, at 27 & 28 months) and even then, I didn't enjoy it one bit. I certainly wouldn't draw out thw whole process over years!
My youngest is 21 months and she tells me when she needs a pee, she asks to sit on the toilet a couple of times every day, she is dry after her nap most of the time and about half of the time in the morning... But Im too lazy and am keeping her in nappies!

This ^^

I think I must be the laziest mother here because I put it off as long as I possibly could & at around 30 months old he practically potty trained himself.