starting to worry im doing it all wrong.

[anna_t]

Since day one ive had Alex sleeping on my chest most of the time for daytime naps and at night he has always been happy to sleep in his moses basket and cot most of the time, we have been happy doing this and i enjoy the cuddles when he is asleep on me.
But now the last couple of nights he has been fine to be put down in his cot when me an OH goes to bed but after his first wake up for food he wakkes up completely as soon as he touches the mattress and in the end starts moaning and crying. He has just gone through a growht spurt last week and it was impossible to put him in his cot as he started screaming straight away so he stayed in our bed. A few days later he was back to normal again. But now its like i said he moans for a while and then starts crying until i pick him up..
What do i do wrong? Is it because i let him sleep on me during the day? Whats changed him?? I feel like ive done it completly wrong for letting him nap on me, does he now suddenly expect to sleep on me at all times?
Starting to stress out now and dont know hat to do

 

[AlwaysPraying]

Oh your not doing anything wrong! It could be that he's used to sleeping on you. You just need to show him that he can sleep without you now that's all. Don't feel bad for wanting snuggles. Putting him to sleep in his crib during he day for naps will help for him to sleep better at night.

By the way we all do things that are "wrong" at some point!

 

[anna_t]

Thank you, i just dont know how to get started. He is VERY VERY hard to put to sleep unless he is on his stomach on me and i just put my hand on his bum and move it up and down. And he stays asleep alot longer and better on me than when he is say in his carseat. He is in it at the moment, fell asleep when i was on my way home and so far he has stayed asleep. Hope he at least will manage another 30 min that means he slept for roughly 45 min.
Shall I maybe get him to sleep on me and then move him over on to the bed and try to get him used that way?? And when he is good at staying asleep on the bed i will then try to get him to sleep with me laying next to me? I dont care if he cant self settle I just feel it might be time to give up all the cuddles with him when he naps in order for him to get back to what he used to be like at night. How do I get started, feel so confused. And I think i give up way to easy. I try for about 15 min and then if he hasnt gone to sleep i feel like he wont unless on me, because i have tried on an odd occasion.
Do you think I can still have him sleeping on me during one of his nap a day because i love the closeness + that means i get a bit of a rest aswell

 

[LeanneS177]

could it be the 4 month sleep regression? Ive heard alot of the ladies here talk about it, but i really cant remember if my eldest went through it

 

[mumnbean]

Try not to stress... you are doing a good job just because you care!

He is probably going through his 4 month sleep regression... Arielle had a monster regression at this age, and before that was sleeping through the night! I still haven't got her back to that even now.

You just need to decide on how you want your LO to sleep, and then find a method that works for you. If you are happy to co-sleep, and like it then go for it. If you want him sleeping in his cot, then follow a method that works for you and stick with it. There are heaps out there...

Most run along similar lines about how long baby should sleep and give an idea of when to sleep, feed, play and tips for achieving it.

Good Luck! x

 

[redpoppy]

I was going to suggest 4 month sleep regression too. Ours lasted three weeks.

 

[jentomo]

Hi ya we did exactly the same as you used to let Daniel fall fast asleep on us then carried him upstairs he always slept through from 6 weeks so didn't have a problem with him waking and not going back to sleep. He is now 7 months old and I have just this past week been trying to get him to go to bed awake he screamed and screamed as he was not used to it. I know it's hard not to pick him up when he is crying but i persivered and now we have a routine which works great. I hope you find a routine that works for you x

 

[anna_t]

what does the sleep regression mean? That he doesnt want to sleep or just want to be near me?
I would love to co-sleep but my husband doesnt really want to as he moves around quite a bit in his sleep.
Is it best to let him sleep in the same place both days and nights?
It just seems so hard and feels like he wont ever be happy sleeping on his own during the day.
I hope it is the regression during the night.. Will have to read about it I think.

 

[anna_t]

oh he just woke up 5 min ago so he only slept for 30 min in his car seat

 

[anna_t]

jentomo: Did you stay in the room with him and comfort him with a hand on his chest or pat his chest or something? I dont know if i could let him scream and cry without me holding him until he falls asleep.

 

[Odd Socks]

bella's a similar age (4 months on saturday) & seems to be going through the sleep regression as well. she slept on me for the first 10 weeks or so in the day, then needed to sleep in her moses basket, she couldn't sleep on me any longer. now she's having real difficulties going to sleep & staying asleep. last night, she woke several times crying.

basically, there's a huge growth spurt & developmental spurt at this age, & they can't switch off properly. bella's getting really tired because she's doing all these new things, & i think she's processing so much in her head even when she's asleep that she's not sleeping properly.

you're doing everything right

xx

 

[anna_t]

bella's a similar age (4 months on saturday) & seems to be going through the sleep regression as well. she slept on me for the first 10 weeks or so in the day, then needed to sleep in her moses basket, she couldn't sleep on me any longer. now she's having real difficulties going to sleep & staying asleep. last night, she woke several times crying.

basically, there's a huge growth spurt & developmental spurt at this age, & they can't switch off properly. bella's getting really tired because she's doing all these new things, & i think she's processing so much in her head even when she's asleep that she's not sleeping properly.

you're doing everything right

xx

Did you do anything to get her to sleep when she sleeps in her moses basket?
Alex has had his growth spurt which last 3 or 4 days. But when he has been on me sleeping during the days and these lasrt couple of nights he hasnt had any trouble staying asleep. He has only been waking up twice like normal but instead of being aleep when i put him back in the cot and stay asleep he starts moaning and then crying until i pick him up. Could that be a sleep regression?
Thanks

 

[anna_t]

He has been asleep for 50 long minutes in our bed this afternoon. I put him down on it as he was tired and he cried a long time but i was next to him all the time, shushing him, telling him i love him, stroking his face, patting his chest and just having my hand on his chest and after 25 minutes he fell asleep, i lay next to him while he slept. He kept "jumping" in his sleep as if he kept scaring himself. But i cant belive that he did fall asleep, im so happy.
So i will be doing this for the next few days to get him used to it and after that lay further away from him but still show him im here and then after that i will get him to sleep being next to him but when he falls asleep i will go out of the bedroom and see how that goes.
Feeling alot more hopeful now seeing that he can sleep somewhere else apart from just on me or his daddy.

 

[PepsiChic]

we stopped letting our LO fall asleep on us (me specifically) at 2 months old because t got to the point where he wouldnt sleep at all, unless on me, day or night. and being such a light sleeper i just ahd to move slightly and he was awake and miserable from lack of sleep.

what i've done since he turned 2 months old is when its time for a nap or bedtime, i feed him, wind him and when hes calm and not crying or fussing i put him in his bassinet. I dont talk to him, but i do shhh for a minute then get up and walked out of his view. id count 5 minutes on my clock, then if hes cryng id go back pick him up pat his back till hes calm again, and repeat.

i wouldnt go back to him if hes moaning or fussing a bit after the 5 minutes, ONLY if he was crying. by the end of the 2nd month, he was sleeping in his bassinet, but he would moan for the first 2 minutes he was in there.

at 3 months his bedtime was perfect, he goes down without a problem, i had a trip to the uk which messed up his naps like mad, but in the last 2 weeks ive been sorting them out and now hes going down for his naps no problem, no crying/ moaning or anything.

the other trick i use is bottles of EBM, i give him 4oz for his first nap at noon, and another one at 4pm, then 6oz at bedtime and he sleeps through.

during the day he bf on demand from me. he normally sleeps anywhere from 1 to 2 hours for his naps, and 10-12 hours for bedtime without waking.

 

[jentomo]

jentomo: Did you stay in the room with him and comfort him with a hand on his chest or pat his chest or something? I dont know if i could let him scream and cry without me holding him until he falls asleep.

hi ya what i have been doing is not letting him sleep after 4ish else he would never settle lol

I take him upstairs at 6.45pm put on a little lamp and read him a story which i think relaxes him then i turn the light offand he has one off these musical seahorse which has a little light and plays soft music 8 lullabies (i only let him have this at night time so he knows it's bed time) i stay and stroke his head for about 5 mins normally he is quite settled. The first couple of days as soon as i left the room he would cry but i would wait on the landing and go back before he gets tooo upset and put my hand on his chest and say there there your fine stay for 5 mins then do the same until he fell asleep. I tried not to pick him up else he would think he has got his own way lol. Now 2 weeks later i put him to bed read him a story and away he goes all by his self. I know it's not nice to hear them cry but i think Daniel has learnt now. Hope this helps i just sort of had to do this as i thought i cant rock you to sleep when your 15. My hubby wasnt very supportive as soon as he cries he says bring him down.So bed time is mummy time will proberly introduce Daddy to bed time routine in a few weeks. Good luck xx

 

[anna_t]

Last night to put him to bed was a nightmare. We started at 7.45, both me and OH was on our way to give up. It took us an hour to get him to sleep and he cried all the time. Had him laying in his cot and i was sitting next to him patting his chest and shushing him all the time, we took it in turns. After an hours time he started to nod off and it took us another 30-45 minutes to get him off in to a good sleep (He kept waking up and cry in his sleep) And his first wake up was at 1 for a feed and I put him back afterwards and he fell asleep straight away. His second wake up was 3.45 but fell back to sleep by himself till 4.05 and i fed him then, after that put him straight back to his cot and fell asleep and then he woke up for the morning at 7. His first nap this morning was at 9.30 so i put him in his cot once again and he was crying but more of a moaning cry until he nodded off at 9.45. YAY, only 15 min with very little crying. BUT, he was very jumpy in his sleep and he woke up 25 min later Will that get better in time? Or do I have to do something to help him sleep longer. I assume 25 minute naps a few times a day isnt gonna be enough for him.

 

[Dani-lou]

I am glad I stumbled across this post because I am having exactly the same problem. My son is 7 wks, he was 5 weeks prem so according to the dr's his adjusted age is 2wks, whether this has any impact on his inability to settle I dont know. I have tried everything, tried the whole routine business bath milk lights out bed etc but he screams as soon as I leave the room. He has taken to falling asleep in the moses basket downstairs and then we bring him up with us when we go to bed. He is usually ok until his first feed that is when he completely wakes up, we try to settle him and put him back in his basket but the screaming is relentless and I am struggling to know what I should be doing. He has been co-sleeping after his outbursts as there is really nothing I can do to get him to stay in his crib. People say let them cry but thats v.hard in the early hours of the morning. I feel absolutely knackered I dont mind the getting up for feeds but he just wont settle afterwards and this is what is wearing me out.
I am worried about co-sleeping, how safe is it? i fear it may be my only choice.

 

[Tudor Rose]

could it be the 4 month sleep regression? Ive heard alot of the ladies here talk about it, but i really cant remember if my eldest went through it

im going through this now she use to sleep from 8pm-8am with a 4am feed shes now going off at 8-9pm up at 1am and usually up for the day at 4-5am! Leyla sleeps better on me in the day time so if im a little wore out i let her sleep on me so i can put me feet up.
Leyla settles better a night with me (dh sleeps in he spare room now) trying to get her back into her cot now.

 

[anna_t]

his 2nd nap for the day was hard to get him to sleep, i tried for 25 min, in the end i put him on my boob and he fell asleep pretty quickly, put him down in his cot and he slept for 50 min i think the first half he was pretty jumpy but second half was alot better. He is down again (only last 1 1/2 hour before getting tired) put him down at 13.45 and fell asleep just before 14.00 and he is still sleeping, he hasnt been as jumpy this time round only the first 10-15 min.
Thinking of getting my oh doing the night time one as i find it hard hearing him cry and me not picking him up or cuddling him. He always or at least 98% of the time cries when going to sleep even when he is on me so I know the crying he does is "normal" for him. Its like if he does that to settle down before falling asleep but its still heartbreaking.
I hope this really works for us.

 

[anna_t]

I am glad I stumbled across this post because I am having exactly the same problem. My son is 7 wks, he was 5 weeks prem so according to the dr's his adjusted age is 2wks, whether this has any impact on his inability to settle I dont know. I have tried everything, tried the whole routine business bath milk lights out bed etc but he screams as soon as I leave the room. He has taken to falling asleep in the moses basket downstairs and then we bring him up with us when we go to bed. He is usually ok until his first feed that is when he completely wakes up, we try to settle him and put him back in his basket but the screaming is relentless and I am struggling to know what I should be doing. He has been co-sleeping after his outbursts as there is really nothing I can do to get him to stay in his crib. People say let them cry but thats v.hard in the early hours of the morning. I feel absolutely knackered I dont mind the getting up for feeds but he just wont settle afterwards and this is what is wearing me out.
I am worried about co-sleeping, how safe is it? i fear it may be my only choice.

Your lo is still very young though. He probably will learn in the end. I dont know what you can do as my lo was really good going back to sleep after a feed.

I also worry about co-sleeping but my body knows i cant move when i have him in bed and most time when he is in bed with me, my oh goes to sleep on the sofa as he doesnt trust himself, he moves quite a bit in his sleep.
Sorry i cant help you.