Stay at home mom or working mom or both?

[CowgirlBaby]

Alright so DH and I are getting ready to TTC soon (Nov. 18th to be exact!) and I am super excited I am counting down the days, but I'm curious. If the option is available would it be better to be a stay at home mom or a working mom? Or better yet both! Now the only reason I say both is because I just started up my business Fairy Confectioneries. Right now is the slow season for bakeries. Hence why it is the best time to TTC. Christmas might pick up a little. Right now I have 3 orders for December. But January, February and March are when it will pick up. Somewhat in April as well, because of Easter, but the first three months mainly because we bakers find that's when A LOT of people are having baby showers. At any rate; didn't mean to babble about the business there lol. I say both because of the business. So would taking a year off from the business be best? Or would it be ideal to either keep going or maybe just cut back on the orders when I have a baby. My DH has a really good job as a mechanic. So I think financially we would be okay if I did take a year off from my business. I am just wondering what you guys think might be my best option.

Also is anyone else drooling over crib sets and baby stuff? I have been shopping for my god daughter when she is born in March, and I drool over a particular crib set for each gender. The boy is the Dumbo the elephant one, and for a girl its the swan princess one. Also I am drooling over the baby stuff and right near the crib displays is a photography place, that my sister used to work at. So I want to either do maternity/newborn pictures there or have my sister do them! Eek so excited to try, but I know it won't happen in an instant but still can't help myself from drooling!

 

[kksy9b]

I would definitely recommend taking some time off after baby is born. Tbh, you'll be sore and tired and whatever extra time you have will either be spent sleeping, snuggling baby or sneaking in a shower lol. After those early days/months though, I don't see any reason you couldn't still fulfill orders. If baby is more demanding (mine was) than simply accept less orders and if they are more relaxed, you can take on more. That's the great thing about being self employed- you can set your work schedule around your home life

 

[CowgirlBaby]

I would definitely recommend taking some time off after baby is born. Tbh, you'll be sore and tired and whatever extra time you have will either be spent sleeping, snuggling baby or sneaking in a shower lol. After those early days/months though, I don't see any reason you couldn't still fulfill orders. If baby is more demanding (mine was) than simply accept less orders and if they are more relaxed, you can take on more. That's the great thing about being self employed- you can set your work schedule around your home life

I absolutely love being self employed for that reason I can arrange my schedule how I like. I love your suggestion though. Take the first few weeks/months getting used to the baby (it will be my first) off and then i can get back into it I wasn't sure how to go about it so i needed an opinion from someone who has had experience, or would have an idea about it!

 

[arturia]

IMO, take a few weeks or months off to physically recover, then get back in the game. You are self-employed and can certainly work around your baby's schedule. (to a degree, as I know baking is very timing based) In the long run, however, you will want to keep the momentum of your growing business going, so that's why I recommend getting back to work after you are recovered.

 

[CowgirlBaby]

IMO, take a few weeks or months off to physically recover, then get back in the game. You are self-employed and can certainly work around your baby's schedule. (to a degree, as I know baking is very timing based) In the long run, however, you will want to keep the momentum of your growing business going, so that's why I recommend getting back to work after you are recovered.

Oh definietly take at least a little time off after having the baby to physically recover. I guess it was more should I take an entire year off or not. I would have the baby and then get right back into it lol that would be the worst option ever!

 

[MindUtopia]

I would say try not to overthink it and see how things go and what you want to do once you're there and doing it, but I would at least plan several months off and then decide if you want more time or if you want to ease back into it. I had all sorts of plans for work (emails, planning, writing, etc. admin like things) I was going to get done when I was off (I'm also self-employed, but I had paid maternity leave). Absolutely none of it got done. The first four months or so were fairly overwhelming. I used to have no idea how women didn't manage to shower or eat meals with small babies. But literally, it was an amazing day if I actually had 15 minutes to shower, or to eat an actual hot meal. It's intense. If you have accounting work or other admin things you can do, those things are easier, but keeping customer appointments (or god forbid, baking something) would have been a stretch for me. I barely managed to make food for myself for the first few months!

In an absolutely ideal world, I think I would love to have the option to work 3-4 days a week while my daughter was small (not in school yet). I was at home full-time for a year, then worked part-time 3-4 days a week until she was 2.5, and full-time since then. I love working and I absolutely never under any circumstances would want to be at home full-time indefinitely. I enjoy the work I do (not to mention I've put a lot of time and money into education in order to do it) and I would work even if we won the lottery and had all the money in the world. But working full-time, long hours, is hard when you have small children, so it makes it easier if one of you can either work part-time or has flexible hours so you can balance everything. I'm lucky that until recently I've largely worked from home and my husband is self-employed, so we've always had a lot of flexibility, even if we have to work long days. Now, I work full-time but less of that is working from home and on the days I'm in the office, they're very long days (13 hours from when I leave in the morning until when I get home at night). On the other days, I work a normal 7 ish hour day while my daughter is at preschool, I get to take her and pick her up, and do normal things with her. But on my long days, my husband has the flexibility to work the hours he wants as he runs his own business. It definitely makes things easier to have 1-2 days home a week to get everything done, but I wouldn't be happy having more than that as I just wouldn't be able to do everything I really wanted to do. I like the balance of doing both.

I think see how it goes and see how you feel. You don't need to make any decisions now. And a lot will just depend on how you are managing yourself, what kind of child you have, what your day to day life is like, and what works for you all as a family. Until you're in it, it's hard to know how you'll feel. But I think almost everyone would benefit from having one parent at home during the very early months. It's hard. And you don't get that time back. I would have lost my mind without my maternity leave (9 months, plus I then took an extra 3 months unpaid).