Stayed team yellow at the scan, but it got ruined

[misspriss]

Ugh. I'm so upset right now. Like irrational pregnant upset.

Stayed team yellow at the scan, the tech was awesome about it, it was great.

Got a message today they added new stuff to my online health record, and there was my ultrasound report. I looked at it, I didn't think they'd put the gender in as it's not medically necessary. I was careful though I looked for all the headers before I read the info, like "Placenta location:, heart chambers:" etc - none for gender. I am skimming through and I see the tech added a note at the bottom that read "Confidential!!! _____(gender)" Just a note- it wasn't required on the report. I know it's just an unfortunately mishap, but still. I was so looking forward to the birth and getting to find out the gender then.

I'm disappointed and in a foul mood.

 

[Berri]

Oh that sucks. Totally understand your irritation.

 

[misspriss]

It's not like you can get that experience back. This is probably our last pregnancy, so it would be the last chance I'd get.

The good news is that my MIL is wrong At least that brings me a bit of joy...

 

[tcinks]

Oh no! I'd be so upset too. I also get my reports online and have been nervous to look through them for this reason! Definitely going to stay away for sure now.

 

[misspriss]

Oh no! I'd be so upset too. I also get my reports online and have been nervous to look through them for this reason! Definitely going to stay away for sure now.

I assumed it would be all medically necessary stuff in the report, I didn't assume they'd notate the gender in a report that they know is made available to the patient. It wasn't a space specifically requested in the form (like you have fill in certain things), it was just put into the notes. Maybe that is normal for techs? I'm not sure. I'm disappointed.

 

[DobbyForever]

Were you not EMUsed? Was it super HAWKward? Did it leave a CHIRP off your shoulder? Did it ruffle your feathers? Ok I'm sorry. I had to. Homophone mix up: foul not fowl

On to my actual response, I am so sorry. I asked to know sex asap, and I did notice that gender confirmation was the first thing on the ultrasound report. It is standard for it to be included as it is pertinent medical/anatomy information BUT the fact the released it to you without redacting it is unfortunate. I only got my reports when requested. Did you request yours? The tech was very adamant it was for doctor's eyes only and my SO and I lit her up. And then I b*ed to my gyn and she printed it for me. I could see a miscommunication when requesting records. Too many hands on it. Or they might assume you wouldn't look and just discuss results with your doctor. Idk. =\. The note probably was to let techs know the gender but keep it a secret to you, and all the notes have to be made available.

But I'm so sorry. I'd be pissed as well. are you going to tell people now or still let everyone else be surprised?

 

[misspriss]

Were you not EMUsed? Was it super HAWKward? Did it leave a CHIRP off your shoulder? Did it ruffle your feathers? Ok I'm sorry. I had to. Homophone mix up: foul not fowl

On to my actual response, I am so sorry. I asked to know sex asap, and I did notice that gender confirmation was the first thing on the ultrasound report. It is standard for it to be included as it is pertinent medical/anatomy information BUT the fact the released it to you without redacting it is unfortunate. I only got my reports when requested. Did you request yours? The tech was very adamant it was for doctor's eyes only and my SO and I lit her up. And then I b*ed to my gyn and she printed it for me. I could see a miscommunication when requesting records. Too many hands on it. Or they might assume you wouldn't look and just discuss results with your doctor. Idk. =\

But I'm so sorry. I'd be pissed as well. are you going to tell people now or still let everyone else be surprised?

Thank you for pointing that out. I'm sure a lot of people like to be publicly called out on their grammatical errors, especially when they are admittedly upset already.

It was the last thing on my report, under the "notes:" section, not a specific section for gender. It is not medically necessary to note the gender, it is necessary to note that the anatomy is "normal". That is word used for everything else in the report, either "normal" or a numerical entry denoting size. The notes can say that the genetic anatomy is "normal" without stating which gender it is. I'm sure I'm not the first person to stay team yellow, surely the doctor could come up with some kind of covert way for the staff to get it in the report without it being blatantly obvious, like writing "confidential!!" then LEAVING SOME BLANK RETURN SPACE SO YOU KNOW IT'S COMING.

I did not request records, due to the Affordable Care Act, health records should be stored electronically and a record be made available for the patient. I log on to an electronic patient portal to fill out my forms, update my information, etc - I can view summaries of all of my appointments after the doctor has reviewed them. I got a message that the doctor had reviewed my last visit and it was available on the portal. There were links in the message to my ultrasound report, my notes, and my lab report. They note my weight, BP, the bacteria culture from my UTI, etc - all of the information is mine and is available to me. I think it is required by law in the US, so you should be able to access it as well. Perhaps ask the administrative staff at your OB office about a patient portal?

 

[DobbyForever]

It was a joke to lighten to mood and cheer you up with some puns. I love puns, so I just hoped it would make you smile.

Different hospitals have different policies as to what goes into the report and how it is arranged. Some information is considered too personal/confidential for online posting and I can only get those records via phone, face to face appointment, or formally requesting them (free of charge) from the facility. And ugh do not get me started on the ACA lol

But still I want to say again how sorry I am. . Especially with it being something they can't undo/take back.

 

[misspriss]

It was a joke to lighten to mood and cheer you up with some puns. I love puns, so I just hoped it would make you smile.

Different hospitals have different policies as to what goes into the report and how it is arranged. Some information is considered too personal/confidential for online posting and I can only get those records via phone, face to face appointment, or formally requesting them (free of charge) from the facility. And ugh do not get me started on the ACA lol

But still I want to say again how sorry I am. . Especially with it being something they can't undo/take back.

It is okay, I am just having a horrible night already and I have my glucose test in the morning. And my daughter's childcare fell through. And I have to pick up my car from service tomorrow and switch out the carseats from the loaner....

I have never had any hospitals say that. They use a purpose built, secure medical records service, it is not just emailed, the email just says you have records. I giess everywhere is different.

 

[tcinks]

It was a joke to lighten to mood and cheer you up with some puns. I love puns, so I just hoped it would make you smile.

Different hospitals have different policies as to what goes into the report and how it is arranged. Some information is considered too personal/confidential for online posting and I can only get those records via phone, face to face appointment, or formally requesting them (free of charge) from the facility. And ugh do not get me started on the ACA lol

But still I want to say again how sorry I am. . Especially with it being something they can't undo/take back.

It is okay, I am just having a horrible night already and I have my glucose test in the morning. And my daughter's childcare fell through. And I have to pick up my car from service tomorrow and switch out the carseats from the loaner....

I have never had any hospitals say that. They use a purpose built, secure medical records service, it is not just emailed, the email just says you have records. I giess everywhere is different.

This is how most of the hospitals around here are, too. All test results and medical records are just available in an online patient portal. It's nice to not have to wait for a call from the doctor's office to get results from something!

I hope your week gets better.

 

[DobbyForever]

. No I'm so sorry poop is all hitting the fan tonight. I hope everything gets sorted and you can put your feet up this weekend.

Yeah idk why you have to jump through hoops to get info. I know they silence their techs because they aren't trained to diagnose just scan, but if I want my report just give it to me. The only time it bugs me is when it's at the hospital (25m away). They won't release it until it has been reviewed by a doctor, which can take up to three days. And I'm not about to drive across the bay in traffic to request it. Luckily, my gyn just prints stuff for me because I have anxiety and depression so she bends the rules a wee bit lol

 

[DobbyForever]

But yeah any betas or hiv tests or certain screenings I either have to wait for my gyn to call/email or call in myself, but they have a 24 hour line. STD tests you have to make a password and call in to get your results.

 

[misspriss]

. No I'm so sorry poop is all hitting the fan tonight. I hope everything gets sorted and you can put your feet up this weekend.

Yeah idk why you have to jump through hoops to get info. I know they silence their techs because they aren't trained to diagnose just scan, but if I want my report just give it to me. The only time it bugs me is when it's at the hospital (25m away). They won't release it until it has been reviewed by a doctor, which can take up to three days. And I'm not about to drive across the bay in traffic to request it. Luckily, my gyn just prints stuff for me because I have anxiety and depression so she bends the rules a wee bit lol

LOL my doc has to review it too, it took him over 3 weeks! 3 days is good. I also suffer from anxiety and more recently depression, it does not help.

As a correction, it was ARRA, not the ACA, but federal mandate is federal mandate, lol

 

[StillPraying]

But your MIL is wrong so that's a silver lining so sorry it got spoiled for you hon. Maybe do a surprise gender reveal party instead?

 

[misspriss]

But your MIL is wrong so that's a silver lining so sorry it got spoiled for you hon. Maybe do a surprise gender reveal party instead?

Yeah. MIL keeps saying what she thinks it is, but she is wrong. We've recently come to be on some very bad terms. When she found out we were expecting she declared it made us unfit parents and told us how unfair this baby would be to our oldest (whom I have recently realized she favors over my second born). Knowing that every time she says it in front of family or friends that she will be wrong when the baby gets here, well that takes the sting out of it a little.

No, I'm not telling. I am not even sure if I want to tell DH. I can't tell if I want to hold on being the only one knowing (because he might tell accidentally, honestly) or being jealous that he gets that surprise in the delivery room and I don't, so then telling him.

 

[DobbyForever]

Wow. That's so uncool. I'm so sorry she said those things.

I just realized you posted in the last pregnancy thread, too. I'm so sorry she ruined your surprise especially if this is your last.

 

[StillPraying]

Well you do have the luxury of holding onto the info until you decide what you want to do. Maybe tell your DH what happened when you're ready and see what he wants to do?

I'm sorry your MIL is so horrid. If mine said something as to another child being unfair to my oldest I would probably snap. Definitely have someone record her reaction when she finds out she's wrong!

 

[misspriss]

Well you do have the luxury of holding onto the info until you decide what you want to do. Maybe tell your DH what happened when you're ready and see what he wants to do?

I'm sorry your MIL is so horrid. If mine said something as to another child being unfair to my oldest I would probably snap. Definitely have someone record her reaction when she finds out she's wrong!

Oh I called DH in tears when I found out because I was so upset. He knows what happened but I have still not told him the gender yet.

She said it to DH, she wouldn't say anything like that to me. She then acted like she thought DH wouldn't tell me what she said! I have come to the conclusion that she is a narcissist who will never feel remorse for any of the things she has said or done.

If it were up to me, she'd never have the joy of meeting this precious child after her behavior, or seeing DD for that matter (because if this child is unfair to DS, what does that make DD?). But I see the difficulty of that, in reality.

It just sucks. Everyone who we've told we were team yellow always commented on how those were the most exciting births to attend (for the medical professionals, anyway) and how beautiful and exciting it was to find out when you meet your LO for the first time. I feel like in an instant, with a silly little mishap, I was robbed of that and I'll never get it again.

Yeah. I'm not sure if it's our last pregnancy, but DH is. Since it takes two to tango....and that being said, this has been the most difficult pregnancy I've had. I've had a much more difficult time emotionally and I'm having a really hard day today.

 

[StillPraying]

Yeah I'd at least limit my kids time with her and defintily limit what information she has. She spunds like my grandpas wife. Some people are just awful. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. When it rains it pours, but the sun does come back out I hope you can find a way to turn this mishap into something special for both you and Dh, even if it wasn't the way you had originally planned to find out.

 

[DobbyForever]

Maybe write them a letter? It won't fix anything but it might be therapeutic and might get them to look into how they write their info in the notes to prevent it from happening to somebody else. In the meanwhile, I know a lot is going on but do something nice for yourself. Treat yo self. It's silly but it helps.