Stepson calling me mum?

[Elizabeth Ida]

My partner has a little boy who just turned 7 last week, called Kai. Kai's mum has never been in the picture (she walked out when Kai was a few weeks old and hasn't made contact since). And i'm really the first mother figure he has had as i'm his dad's first serious girlfriend. Anyway, should he call me mum? He sometimes does, but not all of the time. I love Kai to pieces, I treat him like my own, but for some reason when he calls me mum it just feels strange. I've not even been in Kai's life for a year. I do plan on adopting Kai if possible (there's some issues involving the mother and needing permission), and the new baby will eventually call me mum.. so does it make more sense for him to call me mum?

 

[isil]

I think it should be completely up to Kai. If it's what he feels comfortable doing, then let him. Maybe he won't all the time. I think for you, it might just be a case of getting used to it. I wouldn't let him know if you don't feel comfortable with it though, because it might dent his confidence a lot, particular as his bio mum isn't on the scene at all.

 

[Elizabeth Ida]

Yes, you're right. I suppose it will just take some getting used to if he wants to call me that

 

[fairyflowers]

i think its really lovely for him to call you that even sometimes, xx

 

[holly2234]

I think you should just leave it up to him. He will do whatever he feels comfortable with. In the beginning, even us bio mums find it strange to be called mum! But after a while its totally normal.

 

[FeistyFemme]

I appreciate your feelings for him.

I think you just leave it up to him. He will do whatever he feels comfortable with. In the beginning, even us bio mums find it strange to be called mum! But after a while its totally normal.

 

[weebun]

I think if his mum is off the scene and you are the only mother figure he has known, then it is lovely, especially when it comes from the child, I don't see wrong in that, it's not a forced issue. My 9 year old still sees his dad, but I have never pushed the relationship between him and my partner, he calls him by his name sometimes and then sometimes he will call him dad, he refers to him as step dad to others, and they get on great, they understand their connection to each other and i have let them build their relationship themselves. Leave it up to the child don't make issue of it, don't comment on it, if it's what they are comfortable with. If you are uncomfortable with it say nothing. Involve them as much as poss in the build up to the baby. I think it's lovely that the child sees you as mum, embrace it,some step parents don't have such an easy time of it,yet would love to have a bond with their partners kids and don't.

xx