Still Confused..

[lily24]

Well i have just joined the site last week and posted a few comments so far. Any1 who has read them knows im extremely confused..

Just found out last week that im expecting my first baby. im 19 and my partner is 22.

Told my partner and we are both in the same boat, very confused as to what to do for the best. I no that we are good together and we love each other, and he will be there no matter what, but one minute we think yeh we can do this, next we think the oppisate and cant bear the thought of such an extreme change in our lives at this moment.

We dont live together and this is another worry, finding a house as we dont just want to stay anywhere bringing up our baby.

I am very emotional and really cant think straight for more than a second! Work is the only thing that takes my mind off it, but i know my mind should be on it. Im to scared to go to the doctor and petrafied of having an abortion..

Please help mummys x

 

[Firsttimer]

Best to have a LONGGGGGGGGG think and chat with your OH before making any big decisions. Just do what you think is best for the both of you.

xxxxxx Keep us posted xxxxxxxx

 

[Linzi]

It is a really hard decision to make, but unfortunately you and your partner are the only ones who can make it!

I guess you'll have to have a sit down and a long chat about what you both want, but I wouldn't bury your heads in the sand about it.

I hope you come to a decision thats right for all of you. Good luck!

xxx

 

[lily24]

thanks 4 the replies.. I no its only us that can decide, i think we are just both very frightened and its makeing it harder to feel anything at the moment.

I completly do not agree with termination and think it would really put a strain on things if that is what we agree to do. I cant emagine life going on the same, it would be constant questions and what if's

 

[leeanne]

It is a very hard decision to make and I feel for your predicament. I sincerely hope you make the right choice for you

 

[leeanne]

I am going to tell you a little bit about this pregnancy.

I have two wonderful children plus 3 stepkids. After my second child was born, I didn't want another one as I was 33 at that time plus we have enough kids around.

Early January we found out I was pregnant again, and I am 38 soon to be 39 in April. My hubby and I were both shocked, he didn't look happy and I wasn't too thrilled about the news either.

I contemplated abortion, even though I am deadset against it. I read up on stories on the internet of people who had gone through it and I knew even more that I could not do it.

By the end of that day I told my hubby that there's no way that I could do that. I was against it, I didn't want any regrets later, nor did I want us to have problems because we made a bad choice, and the fact is that it's a baby that we both have made. We've been together almost 10 years.

After that discussion, we have both been happy and accepting the fact that we are having another.

Having a child is a life changing event, but at the same time the rewards are so great

 

[lily24]

Thast exactly how i feel.
Abortion is so horrible and i can never face it i no i cant. At the same time something inside me doesnt feel happy or excited that a baby is growing inside me. Is this normal at the early stage? I suppose im still in shock

 

[Serene123]

Ignore EVERYTHING going on around you and think to yourself "do I want this baby?" "Can I do this?" To be honest, nothing else apart from them two questions matter. If you want the baby and you know you can do it, everything else will sort itself out

 

[lily24]

I no that we could do it, i just dont know if i am ready to be all 'adult' like so to speak.. I have some seriuos thinking to d, its hard tho

 

[leeanne]

Thast exactly how i feel.
Abortion is so horrible and i can never face it i no i cant. At the same time something inside me doesnt feel happy or excited that a baby is growing inside me. Is this normal at the early stage? I suppose im still in shock

I think it's normal to feel that way when it's a pregnancy that was not planned. I went through those emotions for a few weeks then I started to look forward to it and am excited.

At the same sense, I feel a sense of foreboding with this pregnancy. I cannot see the future where the baby is born, etc. I told my hubby this yesterday and he said that I am probably still in shock.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope that your decision is one that makes you happy!

 

[leeanne]

Thast exactly how i feel.
Abortion is so horrible and i can never face it i no i cant. At the same time something inside me doesnt feel happy or excited that a baby is growing inside me. Is this normal at the early stage? I suppose im still in shock

Quite truthfully, but reading this, I think you have subconsciously made your decision

 

[Tam]

I went throught the exact same 9 yrs ago........I went with my heart as that is what rules my body 99% of the time and I had no idea what it would do to me to have something taken away, through choice. And knowing that, left me with my mind made up, after weeks of hell.

Do what is best for YOU, it is your life and your decision, and probably one of the hardest ones you will ever make.....Good Luck babe! x

 

[Sarah88]

The good thing there is that you are having at least a small moment of thinking you can keep the baby. It means that once the shock wears off you will start to get excited. I still have moments where I am petrified, but I think to myself that it would be so selfish to terminate when the baby would have such a loving family to grow up in.

 

[Linzi]

Thast exactly how i feel.
Abortion is so horrible and i can never face it i no i cant. At the same time something inside me doesnt feel happy or excited that a baby is growing inside me. Is this normal at the early stage? I suppose im still in shock

m 21 and my boyfriend is 24, we've just sorted ourselves out financially, are living in a lovely house and had a lot of time and money to do the things that we wanted. Then in October I found out I was pregnant. At first it was really hard to decide whather I was happy or not. Even though we have enough money to get by now, a baby would totally change all of that, and we're in the position where we earn too much for benefits, but not enough to raise a baby. We considered abortion but in the end I don't think either of us could have handled knowing what we'd done. Im not against it, but for me it didnt feel like the right decision.

4 months on and we couldnt be happier or more excited. We're still worried about how we'll cope with money but we're saving every month. And we figured that what we wanted to do ourselves, having our baby with us while we do it will make it 10 times better. We have something that we made because we love each other, and its an amazing feeling. I couldnt have seen myself feeling like this when I found out.

Just wanted to let you know that a lot of people feel what you're feeling. It is a massive shock if its unexpected, but it doesn't have to ruin everything. You can build your life around it.

xxx