Still traumatised 18 months later?

[mrs_park]

Everytime I think or talk about my birth experience I well up and I feel like the stress and trauma of it all robbed me of the first few weeks of my LO
s life. It just seems like a blur of pain, exhaustion and tears. Not to mention dissapointment and feeling like a failure.

I don't know how to process these feelings. Do I need to talk to someone? Am I being melodramatic? Will having another baby and a more positive birth cure me of my fear of birth?

 

[LittleMinx]

No you are not being melodramatic at all ... I don't know your birth story, but if its still that raw for you 18 months on then i think you should maybe talk to someone. It can't do any harm, only good!!

My 1st child almost died and i had to have an emergency c-section, i was told after that 10 more minutes and she would of died... that haunted me for years and it wasn't until pregnant with my 2nd that i dealt with it,. I actually arranged to speak with the midwife who was there when i was in labour and it helped loads.

Is there any way you could arrange to speak to someone and get hold of your labour notes? that way you can go through what is traumatising you and get answers.

xx

 

[Adela Quested]

My son is about to turn two and even after therapy I get tearful talking about my experience sometimes (and it wasn't even a C-section). Mind you the tearfulness has been worse lately because I am pregnant again ...

If you have had a very traumatic experience that is still having an effect on you then it's a good idea to talk to someone about it. It doesn't matter whether it was giving birth or a car accident or ... whatever. I think that a lot of society's attitude towards birth makes it even harder to cope with, because so many people say, "Well you and the baby are both fine now, so what's the problem?" They wouldn't say that if you had been attacked, or had been fighting in a war or something else. Obviously I am not suggesting that all these events are the same, but my point is that they can all be traumatic events and difficult for people to process.

The good news is that therapy DOES help; it has helped me a lot. I am also about to start hypnotherapy to help me to prepare for having my second. My main concern at this stage is to feel better about giving birth again in a few months, not to be dreading it.

Don't be ashamed of your feelings. For a lot of us living in peaceful Western countries, giving birth is by far the most stressful and scary thing that ever happens to us. That doesn't mean that we should just "suck it up", it means that it can be difficult for us to process and we may need help in order to do so.

 

[ladysarcasma]

I know how you feel I don't know your experience, but I had a really traumatic one, too. I didn't even get to see my baby for the first nearly two days after delivery and I was in ICU. I was traumatized for five years!

Unexpectedly, I'm pregnant now. It will have to be surgery. I am PRAYING that this one is a positive experience.

I am planning to talk to a therapist so I can keep my anxiety down in this pregnancy. It never hurts to talk to someone, and you may benefit from it.

Good luck. I hope you feel much better soon.

 

[Londonbump81]

Hello! I had an emcs 14 months ago and still cry about it, feel angry about if etc and ultimately don't think I'm moving on properly because of the experience. I can sympathise with you about feeling like you list the first precious days/ weeks with your baby because when I look back I think it's safe to say the first 3-4 months are a blur. Once our son turned 1 I went to the doctor and now through further assessment I've been diagnosed with Post traumatic stress disorder. I'm awaiting some talking therapy to try and help me move on. I'd advise that you talk to your doctor, the help that is out there really surprised me!! Good luck X

 

[Londonbump81]

Just seen some v. embarrassing typos! I'm on my iPhone...sorry!! X