Stopping bed time feed - where do I begin?

[emmalg]

Hi All,

I'm hoping for some advice. DD is coming up to her 2nd birthday. As my son is due in 9 weeks and I'll be in hospital for 48 hours my in laws will be looking after DD. It's not the first time they'll have had her but she is difficult to put to bed with out a bed time feed.

I'm also ready to move on, whilst not against tandem feeding I've reached a point at which I'm just imagining another 2 years of BF our new son with a bit of distress. The longer I feed DD, the longer I feel I have to feed DS and it's really getting me down.

Most of the time DD can be distracted out of BF unless she is ill but at night though we take a beaker of milk with us she still wants my milk too and is usually 9/10ths asleep when I lie her down. I can't seem to do this with out BF!

How do I make the transition to drop this feed?

 

[kix11]

Not sure if my advice will be of any help but here's what I did ....

Breastfeeding at bedtime used to be my little boy's way of calming down after his bath and I would put him in bed half asleep leave the room and he would doze off .... easy! When he was about 15 months we had a few weddings to go to and he had never ever taken milk from a sippy cup, bottle or anything else up to this point we really struggled. About a month before we were going to our best friends wedding we started making bedtime a bit different, he still had his bath and then we put on pj's but we introduced a book which my husband reads and my little boy although offered the breast kept stopping to look at the story, point at the pictures and giggle etc. whilst still getting lots of cuddles from me.

After a few days of this he was more interested in the story than breastfeeding and we offered him expressed milk in a sippy cup still with lots of cuddles and the story and to my surprise he accepted it just like that! He still has a sippy cup at bedtime and over the space of about 10 days we swopped expressed breast milk for warm cows milk and he will normally drink about 5-7 oz whilst we read a book. I wouldn't say he loves his milk at bedtime he just accepts it. We have had a few nights where he hasn't wanted any at all and occasionally he says no.

The first week or so he would be wide awake going into his cot rather than all sleepy like after a breastfeed so this was difficult, between me and my husband we would step slowly out of his room until he was asleep. There were a few nights I had to sit with him for about 30 minutes until he would nod off! But gradually he is happy for us to now put him down, say good night and he nods off all alone!

He still breastfeeds once a day in the morning which was always his favourite feed. Until I get pregnant again (which is hopefully soon ish!) I am happy to continue with this one.

It is tough for a month or so but I think perfect timing to start before baby no 2 arrives I am sure you will be just fine x

 

[SerenityNow]

I just weaned my 2 year old off of feeding to sleep. It took about 5 or 6 days before he stopped asking to nurse at bedtime. My OH had some time off and my older kids are break from school so the way I did it was to keep him up late so he was really ready to sleep at bedtime and then I told him stories and sang to him until he fell asleep. He cried a fair bit the first night and asked to nurse, I told him not until I was done with the song, then I sang "froggy went a courtin" over and over until he fell asleep. Nights two and three were progressively easier, night 4 he really protested again, night 5 he went down with minimal upset and by night 6 he was asking for me to sing the froggy song.

Now we are working on pushing bedtime forward to where it used to be.

 

[emmalg]

Lol! I can imagine how exhausting that must be - think I need to learn the song, I'm sick of all the ones I know!

Thank you both for the tips, I'll see what I can do to work on distraction a bit more.

 

[serenas_song]

We're working on the same with my 21 month old. For the last 5 nights now, DH has gotten a sippy with milk, and read stories, then rocked her to sleep. I still have to disappear for this to work. I think weaning her from nursing before her nap will be harder because I'll have to do it, I won't have anyone to help me.

 

[emmalg]

Nap time is a funny one for us. At nursery she's out like a light but at home if she isn't BF she wont go down to sleep (apart from one odd day when she lay down on the sofa and fell asleep). I ought to work on that too!

 

[Claudia83]

I'll be looking in here often! My son who will be 2 tomorrow is ADDICTED to nursing. He asks for it whenever I sit down. I have worked on it so that I can get him distracted enough, but come bed time, all he says is "Mama, boo-boosh?" and starts patting me on the breasts. I have weaned him from a few feedings, but with co-sleeping, night and early morning nursing is going to be difficult for me. He does fine during the day while I am at work, my dad says he sings to him and tells him its time to go to sleep and picks him up to cuddle and he's out. Not with me, he will fight sleeping until he gets his boob!

 

[emmalg]

If my daughter isn't feeling well she's the same, "Mama-Noo" (Mummy milk), boob patting, trying to pull my clothes down, "Mama-bra", etc...

Anyway, last night was the first small success. She was already tired as we'd been out for DH's birthday and it was later than usual, so instead of cold cow's milk I warmed it. She had some of that as we read a book, then I switched the lights off and insisted she finish the warm milk first. Then I put her down on her pillows whilst I put her dream sheep on and got myself ready, then I sat there and waited. Eventually she asked for milk again and I allowed her to nurse for about 5 minutes, then when her eyes were closing I said I would pop her on her pillow as I needed to go to the toilet and I'd be right back to check on her... she was fast asleep!

So, I still nursed her but an awful lot less than normal.

 

[Celesse]

If I want to avoid the bedtime feed I send on OH.

 

[emmalg]

I'm still struggling with this. She'll drink all her milk but we can't seem to get rid of the feed. She'll have a tantrum for DH or I'd I try to fob her off! She's even drinking more breast milk now than before!

 

[emmalg]

Success! Last night she may down with her beaker and teddy and dozed off all on her own!

 

[emmalg]

Three nights in a row now. I feel so sad - how silly is that?! I got what I was hoping for!