I promised myself that if I was ever lucky enough to become a mother after 2 early miscarriages I would write a story of hope for others. Today I have a beautiful baby boy and so here I am!
I had my first miscarriage last year at just over 4 weeks. I was devastated. When I had the miscarriage confirmed at my gp I felt they were very dismissive telling me it was very common and I should try again as if nothing had happened. Although I had not been pregnant long I already had so many hopes and dreams for my unborn baby and my gp didn't seem to recognise this.
Following my 1st miscarriage my desperation to be pregnant again was emense and me and hubby started trying to conceive straight away. I fell pregnant again without a cycle in between. I think at this time I was too scared to be excited and me and hubby tried desperately not to talk about the pregnancy I think as an attempt to protect ourselves.
I don't know why but I just knew something wasn't right. At 8 weeks we paid for a private scan and were again told that it was likely I had miscarried as baby was showing small dates.
When my second miscarriage was confirmed I again felt like a failure. I felt I. Had lost who i was. I didn't feel like a woman and all around me women were having successful pregnancies without even trying! Whilst I didnt want these women to experience what we had been through it still felt unfair.
As a social worker I was also surrounded by women who were having children they were not able to look after. Some women I worked with had 6 or 7 children who had experienced neglect or abuse and were continuing to get pregnant.
Some days I completely gave up hope of ever being a mother. Me and hubby decided we needed some recovery time. We went on holiday and didnt try conceiving again until February last year. Of course that didn't mean I stopped thinking about it. I tried focusing instead of getting healthy and trying to gain some control back over my body.
In April last year I found out I was pregnant again. This time I felt different. Every stage of my pregnancy was like a hurdle. 12 week scan, 20 week scan etc. I tried not to think past each hurdle but celebrated each one when it was reached.
I gave birth to my son nearly 3 weeks ago. I still can't believe the journey I have been on to get here.
I spent so much time on baby n bump over the last 18 months. I am not sure if I spent more time on it laughing or crying. Most of all it helped me feel like I wasn't alone and that was so important to me.
I hope that you all have the successful pregnancies you long for. Please do not give up hope!
I had my first miscarriage last year at just over 4 weeks. I was devastated. When I had the miscarriage confirmed at my gp I felt they were very dismissive telling me it was very common and I should try again as if nothing had happened. Although I had not been pregnant long I already had so many hopes and dreams for my unborn baby and my gp didn't seem to recognise this.
Following my 1st miscarriage my desperation to be pregnant again was emense and me and hubby started trying to conceive straight away. I fell pregnant again without a cycle in between. I think at this time I was too scared to be excited and me and hubby tried desperately not to talk about the pregnancy I think as an attempt to protect ourselves.
I don't know why but I just knew something wasn't right. At 8 weeks we paid for a private scan and were again told that it was likely I had miscarried as baby was showing small dates.
When my second miscarriage was confirmed I again felt like a failure. I felt I. Had lost who i was. I didn't feel like a woman and all around me women were having successful pregnancies without even trying! Whilst I didnt want these women to experience what we had been through it still felt unfair.
As a social worker I was also surrounded by women who were having children they were not able to look after. Some women I worked with had 6 or 7 children who had experienced neglect or abuse and were continuing to get pregnant.
Some days I completely gave up hope of ever being a mother. Me and hubby decided we needed some recovery time. We went on holiday and didnt try conceiving again until February last year. Of course that didn't mean I stopped thinking about it. I tried focusing instead of getting healthy and trying to gain some control back over my body.
In April last year I found out I was pregnant again. This time I felt different. Every stage of my pregnancy was like a hurdle. 12 week scan, 20 week scan etc. I tried not to think past each hurdle but celebrated each one when it was reached.
I gave birth to my son nearly 3 weeks ago. I still can't believe the journey I have been on to get here.
I spent so much time on baby n bump over the last 18 months. I am not sure if I spent more time on it laughing or crying. Most of all it helped me feel like I wasn't alone and that was so important to me.
I hope that you all have the successful pregnancies you long for. Please do not give up hope!
x
