Stress!

[MummyJade]

Hey

Hope you dont mind me posting just need to get it out and a little advice...

Bit of background...
Was with ex for 3 yrs on and off.. fell pregnant with Maizie within 3 months..
Rocky relationship him not caring leaving coming back leaving again etc...

Finally split June last year... Got back together for 3 weeks in Nov.. he walks out i vowed it would be the last time so i move on... No problems he was having Maizie on a weekend... all good...

Then he finds out i am seeing someone and he goes off on one and becomes racist because the lad is mixed race... I hate racist people and i made clear i wasnt happy bout his action and telling me he is guna beat him (new man) up every time he sees him... etc...

Told me he loves me wants to marry me..more babies.. I said no as i no longer loved him and then he turns nasty saying he is going to get sole custady of Maizie... and how i am scum...

He came to see maizie and got hold of my phone and deleted all the racist messages and the threats i had saved... so i couldnt show my solicitor...

Then last night he told me if i find any man in your house with Maizie there i will set the house on fire with you lot init... never once mentioned Maizie so i said rite so your guna set fire to my house with your daughter init? he replied i will get maizie out... but either way in my book One if he turned up and took Maizie i wouldnt allow it anyway.. so i dont think he could set fire to the house.. his only other way was is to set fire to my house and then come in a get maizie! so to me thats setting fire to a house your daughter is in right?....

Told me that he has spoken to a mate who is happy to back him with it all the beating up New man and fire lighting...

I had a sleepless night panicing and jumping out my skin at every noise.. my letterbox bangs in th wind so that was terrible last night...

I have called my Solicitor now waiting for her to call me back.... He is due to have Maizie saturday but i dont want her to go cos he has said before he would take her and do a runner... am i wrong if i stop her going??

Sorry its long xxx
Thanks for reading

 

[laura1991]

Definately not!! What a horrible person! Id be so scared if that was me! just keep a log of everything that happens then you can show it your solicitor, If i was you i'd stop all access till its gone through the solicitors!

 

[bobblebot]

HI there, I can sympathise with you as I too have a stupid ex who is threatening me beause he wants to take our son nigeria, but I refuse as I know he won't bring him back.

First....do not let himhave Maizie, he hasproved with his violent texts he is mentally unstable and is capable of thinking even if not doing these things he suggests.

The only was for you now really is to go through the courts....can he afford to do this?It will cost him 5-10K to try get acess to Maizie and after his threats he may if lucky only get contact in contact centre. Tell him that communiation is broken down now between you too because of his threats and that he will have to do this the correctway now via legal route.

Tell him if he threatens you again you will tell police and get a restraining order in place (police take this v.serious) and he'll make it worse for him self.

I'vetried to be civil and nie with ex but he still wanted control me into doing anything he wanted. I have now told himnot to contact me in any form and when he has our son I don't see him. Hence why he's now being a sh*t....if he continues I will do same and tell him acess arrangements are cancelled and please go through the courts. Unfortunately sometimes we have to play hardball.

 

[MummyJade]

Thank you both...
My solicitor said to call the domestic violence lady and she will come talk to me.. as he is threatening me...

I am not letting him have maizie due to the way he has been...She said its a shame i havent got the message that he deleted them but the police might be able to get them back if they believe its serious enough...

So i am going to call the Lady from DV in a min and see what they say...

thank you for your replies... xx

 

[MummyJade]

UPDATE!

Well you police have just left... they have put a marker on my address so if i dail 999 and its to mine they will be fast response...

They said he new what he was doing when deleting my messages...
and the Police woman has known ex for years and said its typical him...
I gotta re save all messages and keep a diary of what is said on phone calls (if he calls)
and it i feel scared by any message or call to contact them straight away....

I just cant believe it has came to this... i wanted a quiet life..
My dad is fuming he came around while police was here...
They said Maizie is a very happy child and it was lovely to see how well she is looked after and there is no chance he will get sole custady of her...

Not heard anything from him today.....

xx

 

[billy2mm]

call the police!! that is a serious threat for him to say about setting fire to the house and a criminal offence!

 

[Surreal]

He came to see maizie and got hold of my phone and deleted all the racist messages and the threats i had saved... so i couldnt show my solicitor..

Thought I should note; in most cases phone companies will keep text messages on their servers for a limited amount of time. It's possible if you call your provider and tell them the situation, they can retrieve and send you copies of the threatening text messages he's been sending you.

Hope that helps.