Stressed out

[geordiemammy]

Firstly I have 4 big strong healthy boys in oct 11 I found out I was pregnant with my new partner in dec 11 I nearly died as bled so much losing the baby had emergency surgery to stop the bleeding so we waited a few months before trying again in may 12 I found out I was pregnant again then the next day started spotting but docs said hormones were rising in June we had a scan that showed our babies heartbeat I couldn't settle though so had a private scan at the end of June 12 which revealed my baby had died only 2 days after we seen its heartbeat I was devastated had d/c on 4th July then 5 weeks later I had a positive result again I was filled with dread it was my sons bday party so I just tried to get on then I started bleeding not exactly great when you have a house full of people I miscarried that night August 12 after this the investigated and nothing came back abnormal except my apc resistance ratio they repeated the test and advised daily aspirin while ttc we weren't trying as I needed another loop biopsy so I was all booked in for that on the 6th jan 13 but on the 27th dec 12 I did a test as was being really moody and it was positive all I felt was dread and my fears were confirmed on the 3rd jan 13 when the hospital confirmed my miscarriage 😥

Then last week I felt a bit funny again so took a test and its positive again I took a further 6 over a couple of days before contacting my consultant on 14th feb 13 he has booked me in for a scan on the 26th feb 13 but I'm still doing tests everyday to see if the line is getting stronger my oh thinks I'm losing the plot but I can't help it I'm a wreck with it all and I know this stress won't help but I can't help it I'm 4-5 weeks now according the the clear blue digital and my dates everytime I go to the toilet I expect blood I'm doing myself no favours by thinking like this but I just can't help it none of my friends understand cause they haven't been through it and like I say my oh thinks I'm mental (this will be his first child if I get that far)

So if anyone has time to chat I would be grateful

Thanks