Stressed, pregnant, single

[pea_in_my_pod]

Hi I'm just about 5 months 3 weeks pregnant ... I was with my bf for 2 months before getting pregnant ... Then the minute I got pregnant I hated him ... I got such bad anxiety and depression from being pregnant I developed a hive / eczema problem all over my limbs and would shake whenever he was around and try to hide in my room .. Every text or call made me depressed and ainxious... So I tried to stay for another 2 months after I got pregnant but eventually the stress got to me ... Now there is some background I'm missing so I'll fill you in .... He is 13 years older than me and has 4 kids pays minimal support of 500 for one child and 150 for another ... All 4 children are from different women .and he only has a relationship with one of them that has been off and on her whole life

.. I am pregnant with his fifth . .. He had bragged about his wife and mistress having a child 3 months apart.... He gets away with paying less support by living about his income ... He told me three times in the first month I found out I was pregnant he did not know if we should do this ... And I have a text with him saying he would give me custody and walk away ....

I just want him gone from my life ....

But then when I said ok that is exactly what I wanted him to be completely out of the picture he came back and said he wants in ... I swear it's because I don't want him.... He is used to treating women like disposable trash and I'm the first woman who won't put up with that and I'm much more independent than the women he is used to...

He changes his mind all the time and he would not know the truth if it bit him in the ass

Another thing that drives me nutty is the only child he has contact with ... He has been in and out of her life ... He's trying now to be in her life more but ... He has not done the hard parenting .. Now shows up and plays the hero like getting her the fun stuff and trying to be the cool parent ... And he shit talks her mom .. But in sneaky manipulative ways not outright

Am I wrong for wanting him gone

 

[cookette]

Good grief, run away as fast as you can....

 

[pea_in_my_pod]

That is what I'm thinking ... But I'm still feeling guilt ... I'm scared that my baby will grow up and be upset I did not want the father around ... I have a lot of General ainxiety I get worried if that's he baby has not moved during the day ... I get worried about the babies cord ... I lost a pregnancy before and I'm so scared I'm going to do everything wrong .. I just want to enjoy this whole process but instead I find myself hyper aware of every little thing ... Not sure how I relax about this whole process

 

[Googiepie]

Try to stay calm. I know that's a lot easier said than done. I've had anxiety when I was pregnant, I didn't lose a pregnancy before but I had a lot of bleeding in the first trimester that the doctors couldn't explain for a while. It made me a nervous wreck but I knew that wasn't good for me or the baby. I honestly just said to myself whatever will be, will be. I knew the best and pretty much only thing I could do is relax and stay calm. Try some meditation or yoga, if you do anything for stress relief do that. As for the father, he clearly isn't a dad to his other children so I don't think you have too much to worry about. He's clearly all talk and no action. I don't thing your baby will be upset that you didn't want the father around, if anything he/he will understand. I hope everything works out.

 

[Dezireey]

He sounds like a right idiot, you are well shot of him if he is that irresponsible. If he treats you bad only when you are nice to him, you could always do a 'how to lose a guy in 10 days' thing and get all super whiny and clingy and needy on his ass and he may go away!

Seriously though, if he is making you anxious and depressed while you are pregnant you need him far away from you and you are doing the right thing. Try to deal just with the pregnancy and feeling better at the moment. When you are back to normal and your hormones have settled down, you will be in a better frame of mind to deal with any demands to access he has. He has 'no right' whatsoever though to demand to be around you whilst you are going through the pregnancy. One word to a Doctor ( or even police if he is that stupid) that his presence is not wanted and causing a pregnant woman stress and they will deal with him ( hopefully).

Hope you feel better soon xxx